Last Day

Today is my last day of work for the school year.  I've made it through to Spring Break (well, almost - I have two more classes to teach and 3 hours of Parent/Teacher Conferneces to sit through), and since our due date is in nine days, I'm done.

It's bittersweet. 

I LOVE my job.  I think I've mentioned before that I'm one of those blessed and apparently rare people that loves what they do almost all of the time.  Teaching high school students, while hard at times, is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done, and will ever do.  I learn so much from them, perhaps more than they do from me, and while yes, there are those ding dongs that are obnoxious, entitled, and idiotic, there are so many of them that are going somewhere good, and give me hope. 

We laugh together, we cry together, we play together, we work together.  We learn together.  We live life together.  My classes are like family, especially this year.

And so, while I eagerly (terrifiedly and nervously and excitedly and joyfully) anticipate what's coming next over the next few weeks, this is hard, and bittersweet.

Have you ever noticed the intentionality of the word bittersweet?

What comes first is bitter, harder to deal with, sad.  But what follows is sweet, joyful, full of goodness.

Leaving these kids is weird.  "Have a good Spring Break.  When we come back - I mean, when you come back - you'll do these things...."  These particular classes are not over forever, like the awkward goodbye after the final exam period at the end of the semester.  They'll continue.... but without me.  It's weird, and it's a little hard.  Bitter.

But next?  Next comes the Peanut.  And after the (again) hard part, I'll have this little boy in my arms that I am sure I am going to love even more than I love my job, dependent on me, loving me without even thinking about it.  And it's amazing.  Sweet.

Bittersweet.  What a good word.