Oh, Friday. Oh, Thoughts.

When I was younger, one of the TV networks had "TGIF" on Fridays.  There were about 4 sitcoms showed in a row that were all referred to as "TGIF."  I think Step-by-Step was one of them for a while, and maybe Sabrina....?  I don't really remember anymore. Regardless, when someone says "TGIF," I still think of a TV line up.

But seriously, I'm glad it's Friday. I'm T.I.R.E.D. today.

A few days ago I posted on The Fork in the Road, my thoughts about needing to make a choice.  This week has been good in that area.  I've spent some consistent time with the One, have been listening to some awesome sermons from morning radio, and have been blessed a lot by reading some of your thoughts on things. 

It's been so good that my brain is pretty much on overload.  There are so many thoughts turning around and around and around in there that I would like a day to just stop, pause, listen, and think. 

My thoughts range from how to love my Husband to how to love others to what forgiveness is and some things I need to let go of.  From what it means to follow Jesus to what it means to be healthy to what my relationships should look like.  From seeing my flaws and my beautifuls. 

It's just a lot.  I could write a dozen blog posts on what is in my head.  I'm not even kidding.  The very thought of which thought to start with is daunting. 

This weekend we're going to the mountains to a friend's cabin.  I'll have to work on online stuff (which I am starting to hate) part of the time, but I'm hoping to also use the time to play a little and spend some time processing all the things I'm thinking. 

Being in the mountains always helps me reset.

The main thing I'm getting, though, is that God hasn't been silent recently. 

I just wasn't listening.  The minute I started was the minute I heard what He was saying.  About a lot.  A lot.  (Have I mentioned it's a lot yet?)

But it's Good.  Which excites me.

And now it's time to go back to teaching for the rest of the day.

The Fork in the Road

Truth time.

I cannot have my heart healed if I am not even in conversation with the One.

I cannot have my relationship with Husband grow if I am not in Relationship with the One.

I cannot feel like I'm living with purpose if my purpose is not rooted in my Relationship.

I can sit in church on the very few Sundays I convince myself I have to go and cry in the back because I am alone and pray that God will heal me or release me, but nothing will happen if I am not even in conversation with Him.

I can think about how my relationship with my Husband could be improved and how he can and should grow, but nothing will matter if I do not have first and foremost my Relationship with the One as a priority.

I can feel sorry for myself about how I feel like I have no people and define my worth based on the number of people who call me to do something, initiate conversations with me, post on my Facebook wall, or comment on my blog.  In that case, I'm going to feel rather worthless.

I can invest my time and energy and care and love into my students.  A good thing, except that I tend to make a good thing the ultimate thing, and when I have time to sit and breathe, I realize that while that is rewarding and fulfilling, it is not Enough.

It is time to make a decision.

I'm here.

Or here, just for a laugh. (because I can't be serious all of the time)

Where will I go? 

I know what I need to choose. 

I want to choose it, too. 

But I am weak, and easily sidetracked. 

Still, the time has come.