Midweek Confessions

Excited to link up and share my Midweek Confessions!  I have given absolutely NO thought to what I'm about to write, but I was thinking about blogging today and decided this is the perfect "not too much thinking required since I'm on a break" post.

Here we go!

1. I really, really, really enjoy not being on the computer.  At school I check my email about a million times a day and, because I teach online, I'm on a lot at home, too.  I've been avoiding grading the last few things (including their final) for the online class, mostly because I haven't wanted to be bothered to log on.  In the last few days, I've been on Facebook for about 10 minutes, I've read maybe three blog posts, and I've responded to two emails.  That's it.  And I love it.

2. I don't think I'm a very good "pregnant person."  I am just not mushy.  And I just discovered that, at 25 weeks, I've gained nearly 20 pounds.  If I'm "supposed" to gain a pound a week or more for the rest of the time, I'm going to have gained 35 + pounds.  I realize that "that's okay," and that "all women are different," but for me, the thought of gaining 35+ pounds, even if it's "baby weight," is horrifying.  I mean, absolutely horrifying.  I've begun to notice my face getting rounder (which happened the last time I gained a lot of weight, although that time I had no "guilt free" excuse), and I don't like it.   It would help if I ate better and walked more often.

3. I don't eat well enough sometimes.  Since I haven't "had time" to grocery shop this week, I just finished a bag of Cheetos as my lunch.  Refer to #2.  I feel kind of gross, but I know if there were any more left, I'd be eating them.  I also need to drink way more water and less other stuff. 

4.  I might not be mushy, but I LOVE feeling the Peanut move.  I could probably sit here for hours and just feel my tummy and see if I can get him to wiggle or kick, even if it meant completely ignoring all the responsibilities I have.

5. My house is already a mess.  It was clean for Thanksgiving, and I had good intentions of keeping it that way.  Christmas presents exploded in the living room, and the bedroom is full of Space Bags full of clothes for "after baby" that have yet to be vaccuumed shut and put away and bags of "won't probably ever fit in this so here you go Goodwill" clothes.  They've been on the floor for two weeks.

6. I'm addicted to Hallmark Christmas movies.  I could watch them all day (I've watched at least 4 in the last two days) and my DVR is full because of them.

7. I really, really, really want a White Christmas.  It snowed on Monday while I was Christmas shopping (which I started on Monday, another confession, and mostly have finished now), and really felt like Christmas.  Because it's been cold, some of the snow is still on the ground, but I want fresh snow for Sunday.  I'm like a five year old, and I could never live somewhere where the possibility of a white Christmas didn't exist.  I always want Christmas to be just like I want it to be, but I'm learning to be less selfish about it.  But a fresh layer of snow would be just lovely.

8.  I bet I could write about a million more of these "confessions."  I'll have to join in again next week to "come clean."  As a last, silly one, I'm always jealous of Elizabeth (with whose blog I'm linking), because I think we seem like we could be pretty similar and maybe could be IRL friends if we actually knew each other, but her blog is way better and her posts more fun than mine. :) 

Stay tuned for more Midweek Confessions in the future, as well as (hopefully) some fun pictures over the next few days!

A Christmas House....

... is one of my most favoritest things in the whole world.  I love it enough to use words like favoritest, even though I know that isn't a word at all.

There's nothing like sitting in front of a twinkling Christmas tree.  As you can see by my holiday blog design, you know I'm obsessed with it.  It's really the best thing in the world, any time of day, although early in the morning or as the dusk falls is the best, because then the whole room glows with the twinkly, sparkly white light of the tree.  Growing up our tree was filled with antique ornaments, handmade ornaments, and a vertiable hodge podge of other ornaments.  There was no rhyme or reason, and it was beautiful. 

When I moved out and had to get my own tree, I got a few boxes of matching little ornaments, and then started collecting other pieces.  Marrying Husband brought in a whole set of his childhood ornaments and Santa Claus collection, and each year we've received more ornaments as gifts.  Now, although there are definitely repeat matching ornaments on my tree (thanks to my first year on my own), our tree is just what I like.... a blend of mismatched, twinkling lights. 

The perfect place to relax.

My next favorite thing is my mantle.  Over the last couple of years I've wored on adding height to my mantle decor.  I've played with having a lot on it, to having very little.  My pre-fall and Christmas mantle was back to pretty simple, with a few lovely pieces and some pops of color.  Fall added a bit more, with a leaf garland and some pumpkins.

This season led me to remove several things, but add many more.  It's definitely back to the "lots on it" stage, but I think it might be my favorite Christmas mantle yet.  The words on it inspire me to choose joy, to believe deeply, to find hope and love in my family, friends, and faith.  And it twinkles, too.

 

There are many other little areas in my house that are Christmas-y, because I love it so.  We have a Christmas quilt on our bed and little Christmas things in the kitchen, the dining room, on walls and endtables everywhere.  Each shelf on the built-ins in the living room has something different on it - candles, CDs, the Polar Express. 

There is one shelf, though, that stands out.  It's simple, it's not dressed in red and green and gold, and there are no twinkling lights. 

But it's beautiful.

Because, more than anything else in my whole house, no matter how much I love sitting in front of the twinkling lights or seeing the reds and golds or sleeping in a Christmas bed, this shelf matters.

This shelf reminds us of what we're really doing here.

Oh, I love a Christmas House. 

18 Weeks and Other Fall Things

If you happened over here on Friday, you probably read about my high levels of anxiety.  If you didn't, I wouldn't necessarily recommend going and reading that post.  I was having a small meltdown.... okay, a big one.  Hormones and the unknown of the first pregnancy were getting to me and I was a M.E.S.S.  (MES used to be my initials, how funny.) 

Anyway. 

After doing some praying, some talking, some more-in-depth reading about this stage of pregnancy, and about 20 hours of sleeping this weekend, I'm feeling much more sane, rational, and overall good about things.

After reading one article from a obstetrician, I started to skim the comments left by "experienced moms."  This one immediately spoke to me:

"Have faith! Look at all those twinges and discomforts as positive signs that your body is changing and baby is growing. Remember that you will never be as close to your baby as you are during your pregnancy. You know exactly where your child is and your body is nurturing and protecting that child. That goes away once you give birth, so enjoy the time when you have it! Instead of reaching for a doppler (and spending your hard earned money on it), relax and connect with your child during those times when you find yourself most nervous. Find your faith, because you will need it over and over again as a parent!"


Now, I'm not saying I still might not convince myself at some point to rent a doppler (because peace of mind might be worth it), but for now I'm content to have faith, and I'm going to try to enjoy this time.

So. Without further ado, a silly 18 Week Pregnancy Update:

This morning I made sure to take a picture when I didn't look like something the cat dragged in.  I still fit into nearly all my jeans (the perk of low rise jeans), but my belly is definitely expanding.  I'm attempting to monitor that at a healthy level - so far, so good.

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 18 Weeks

Size of Baby: The "peanut" or "LBF (little bitty fella)," as we call him/her is now about 5 and 1/2 inches long, roughly the length of a good sized bell pepper.  LBF weighs about 7 ounces and is doing all sorts of developmental growth!

Maternity Clothes: As I mentioned, I fit into all my jeans.  (Most of my work pants are a little too snug.... so I'm a jeans to work kind of teacher now.)  Okay, you caught me in a small fib - on one pair of jeans, I have to do the elastic band through the button hole trick, but that's it.  Fortunately for me, I had bought several shirts that were "larger" and "flow-ier" over the summer since I had gained weight over the last year, so I'm not really buying maternity clothes yet.  I need to go do some initial looking, because the time will be coming soon, I think, and I want to have a style and look good.

Gender: November 9th is our new holiday: Boy or Girl Day!  That's next week, so we're pretty excited.  We have about a fifty-fifty split in our family's thoughts.  Some have stated they think it's a boy, some have dreamt it's a girl (including Husband!), and some have just stated their "wish list."  I think I kind of hope she's a girl, but think he might be a boy, but either way, want a healthy baby.

Movement: Maybe the tiniest of little flutters?  Or maybe just gas?  Who knows?  Hoping to feel something more definitive soon.  Husband is, too.  He wants a turn to feel something.

Sleep: Body Pillow: best invention ever.  That's really helping me be more comfortable and stay off my back, which is how I like to sleep when my back hurts, which is often.  But the last few nights I've gotten really good sleep, despite the plethora of weird and never-ending dreams and the occasional potty break.

Cravings:  I don't really have any cravings that I didn't have before... I mean, I always love salty food.  But I am trying to cut back on the non-healthy things and be more concious of what I eat.

What I miss: Feeling skinny.... although I haven't felt that way in a while. :)  But I'm excited that at least I have an "excuse" and some people think pregnant women are beautiful.  I also miss feeling normal.

Symptoms: Well, I think I was pretty clear about those on Friday.  I have lots of indigestion, some discomfort at times, and I do have to pee frequently.  But as mentioned earlier in this post, I'm working on embracing those things.

Things People Say: No one has really said anything obnoxious.  Being the non-mushy person I am, I find it strange and kind of weird when people comment on how cute my baby belly is or talk about my "showing."  I have had people already touch my belly, and that has got to stop. :)  Other than that, people are mostly trying to be encouraging, and I can't fault them for that or for my over-sensitive hormones.

Best Moment(s) This Week: Well.  Calming the heck down.  And having Husband really start clearing things out of the former-guest room soon-to-be baby room.  The more-empty room really makes me think.


In other news, I have been so self-involved with the baby stuff, I never posted about how much I love fall.   I LOVE FALL.  I do, I do, I do.  It represents so many happy things to me, which you can read about here.

Here's a quick peek at my overly-pumpkin-ed house.  I like it that way, so don't judge.

An overall glance.



My homemade "Give Thanks" pumpkins.



Some of my Autumn things from my MIL.

A close-up, because the saying is worth reading.



More pumpkins... and a DELICIOUS smelling candle.



The mantle.



The buffet with... more pumpkins.



Real acorns from Nebraska (where Husband grew up) -

we got them last year when we visited.

Ginny following me around and wondering why I was taking so many pictures.

Happy Monday, friends.

Back in the Saddle

(Editor's Note: I wrote this post on Monday, but because I needed to wait to for my husband to bring the camera home, am not posting it until Tuesday.  Any references to "today" are from Monday.)

Do you know that I have ridden horses for nearly 15 years, and I have never actually fallen off of one? 

Granted, the consistency of me riding in the last three years has been.... well, let's be honest.   I haven't ridden more than twice in the last three years.  (That's not totally my fault.  The first year, I didn't have a car, so I couldn't get out to where my horse was being boarded.  The second year we'd moved him to my parent's house and built him a loafing shed, and I did ride him a couple of times, but then he got an abscess in his hoof and had about half of the hoof removed.  (That's like taking off your fingernail, not your finger, just in case you didn't know.)  So he had to heal from that.  And then last year, right around this time of year, he impaled himself on a t-post and nearly died.  That recovery was quite long; hence, no riding for me.

I completely digress from my original point.  The expression back in the saddle clearly comes from the idea that if you've fallen off a horse, you have to get back on again and push through whatever fear is keeping you from riding again.  I've never fallen from a horse, so I don't I can fully understand the true intent of those words, although having watched my sister essentially stop riding due to an incredibly scary situation, I sort of get it.

That story will have to come at a later point, because this post isn't supposed to be about horses or riding or anything equestrian related.  I just titled the post Back in the Saddle and then was off on a tangent, and decided to write it.  Well, journeying with me as I process never promised to be logical.

Anyway, I feel like I have the opporutnity to be back in the saddle of a lot of things in my life.  School is winding down and, while I have a busy summer ahead, the pace is different.

I have just two classes of finals left to grade - one on paper, one online.  I'm going to do them tomorrow.  Then I have to spend some time getting my classroom ready for next year, and I'm done.  Officially our last day is Wednesday, but I may go in for a few hours on Thursday and/or Friday just to make sure I'm organized.  It's been a long year.  I'm excited for a change of pace.

On Saturday I went to the Home Depot at 8:15 in the morning to avoid the rush and bought a lot of flowers and plants.  I suspect I normally spend $100 on flowers to pot to make the front of my townhouse look pretty (and to make me happy) - but this weekend I went way overboard, due to the fact that I was on a mission - I wanted to plant some perennials in our front yard, build a mini garden bed retaining wall, and add some mulch.  I picked up the pesky rocks that were half filling the space and through them into my window wells, which needed something in them anyway.  (I'd already spent hours on a previous weekend cleaning and sorting some rocks and filling this awkward weird gap between my neighbor's sidewalk and mine.) 

I potted 15 medium and small pots of flowers and 3 large ones.  I dug up the soil in the yard and mixed it in with some garden soil.  I planted 7 new plants in the yard.  The only thing Husband helped with was the brick (which, as you can see, we need a couple more layers of to make a retaining wall) and the mulch.

I just love it... it's like a whole new yard.  And never mind the dead grass, because the flowers and plants make it pretty anyway.  (Although we are going to re-sod the dead parts and put in some new sod up to the retaining wall.)

Oh, and doing that, I forgot about sunscreen (rookie mistake).  This is me two days later, although I couldn't really get a great picture.  You'll have to imagine what it looked like originally.  In my defense, it's my first real time outside this year,  so I had no base coat at all.

And I've cleaned my main floor and the master bedroom thoroughly, and tidied up the basement areas and bedroom (my mother-in-law was here for the weekend).  I'd bought a white quilt and some throw pillows for our bedroom to give our room a fresh, summery feel, but I didn't allow myself to set up the bed until our room was clean clean clean.

So I'm back in the saddle of living in a liveable, even peaceful, pretty house.

This morning I got up and went for a run.  I haven't been on a run in a really long time.  It's been at least a month since I went to the gym, and probably two or three months (or four?) since I ran outside.  It was super windy, but the sun was shining warmly and I pushed myself, but not too much.  It felt delicious.   I'm going grocery shopping today, and we've cooked at home the last two nights. 

Yes, I'm back in the saddle of being healthy, and feeling good about myself.

After I got back from my run, I poured myself a cup of coffee (which had been brewing while I ran), added a dash of cream, sugar, and cinnamon, and took the dog to sit on the front steps, which, in the morning, are bathed in sunshine.  There, amidst all my beautiful flowers, I drank my coffee, basking in the tranquility, and listening to this song, which always gets my heart tuned into the right place.  Always.  It's been a while since I've heard it, so I played it twice.  Starting at about 4:45 is the best, in case you don't want to listen to the whole thing.  And I just felt calm, and inspired, and ready to keep going. 



I went to church yesterday with  my mom and MIL at a different church than my own, and the pastor asked this question: Are you in the same place spiritually as you were last month?  Six months ago?  Last year?  Well, I know that if I were to answer that honestly, I haven't grown at all in the last month or so.  Remember there was that season of incredible revelation and growth earlier this year?  I started to live on the leftovers of that, much like a car running on the fumes of gasoline that used to fill the tank.  I caught myself, jumped back in, but, as any teacher knows, barely survived the end of the year, and stopped reading, journaling, and reflecting.  But that season is finished.

And I'm back in the saddle of spending time with the One.

I hope that if I ever do fall off of a horse, I will not hestitate to jump right back on, because if life teaches me anything, it is that it is always better when you push through, allow the One to help you conquer your fear, and keep going.  Put that foot in the stirrup, swing your leg over, and keep riding.

Re-set, and press On.

A New Back Yard

I've mentioned before that we live in a townhome.  I like it almost all of the time, although sometimes I desperately wish I was not connected to my neighbors - or at least, not these neighbors - and recently I've been frustrated with our HOA - their maintenance people killed all the perennial plants and flowers I'd planted by over-prunning and stomping on and not caring about them and recently lobbed off several beautiful and healthy branches off the tree in our yard, leaving it scarred and bare.  But I digress.

One thing that we loved at first was that, while the other townhomes had cement slabs outside the backdoor and, usually, dirt, (although there are some that I've seen - yes - that means I've peered over fences - that are lovely, with patios and grass), we had a deck covering the entire space.   It wasn't the nicest deck, but we enjoy grilling on it and sitting out there on warm summer evenings.  We had plans to sand and refinish it, make it nice.

Enter Ginny, the wonder puppy. No yard means we have to walk her every time she needs to go out.  We don't mind letting her go in our tiny front yard occasionally, but it's not the best for when she has to go "big potty," as a friend of mine in college called it.  Let's face it, in a townhome community, who wants to see dog poop on a tiny little plot of grass?  So we have to walk her all the time.  Our deck?  Not so wonderful now.

So I proposed tearing out the deck, putting in a patio and a small plot of grass, and, surprisingly, Husband agreed.  I imagined we would start this project later, but not Husband.  Weeks ago I came home one day to see a few planks torn out - Husband's typical rash beginning of a project. 

Yesterday he finally got around to part two.... and my sister Becca pitched in.  

I guess we're on our way.  Wish us luck - summer is a-coming!

Snow Day and My Living Room

A Snow Day. 

A little miracle, a great gift from God. 

A day where I can relax a little and work on things that will help me not fall behind. 

A day to wake up at my leisure (ummm.... 7:15), drink a couple cups of coffee, and read a while before, again, at my own pace, get some things done.

And a Snow Day here?  Well, today the snow has stopped falling (it snowed through the night and made the roads awful), but now the sun is shining brightly and the snow sparkles as if laden with an inset of thousands of tiny little diamonds.  It's quite cold, which makes a cup of coffee or hot cocoa and a fuzzy blanket all the more appealing, but, if I were a child, I would find the nearest hill and go sledding, for it is the perfect weather.

Oh, Snow Day.  How I love you.

And, as promised, a few pictures of my living room, which is still pretty and cozy and lovely. 

 My living room. The rocking chair used to be on the other side of the fireplace, and we had an old, ugly, uncomfortable arm chair that didn't go with anything in the house.  I hate losing a seat, but I really hated that chair more and feel immensly better that it made it's way to Goodwill.

 

My mantle, newly decorated.  It was much more cluttered before and quite colorless.  The pottery vase on the left I bought with a gift card to the Pottery Barn, the flowers, "C", and heart sign (that says "amore") are from Hobby Lobby, and the wrought iron candlesticks are from Goodwill (those I've had for a few months).

The built in bookcase, with some new arrangements.  A while back I painted it to match the wall in the living room, and, inspired by E over at Me, Myself, and E, I started searching for gold and red books.  The baskets I've had forever, and the Willow Tree angels are a favorite item of mine.



One of my favorite shelves. The milk can also came from Pottery Barn - it was on sale for $4! - and the flowers from Hobby Lobby.  Everything else I already had.

Soon to come, pictures of a new shelf I bought that is going in my kitchen, finishing off a blank wall I have been working on since the kitchen was fixed.

May your day be lovely!

A Day Off

Good morning!  Can you just wait a moment while I run to the kitchen and get my cup of coffee?  I turned the pot on about 20 minutes ago, but haven't gotten up yet to actually enjoy my morning beverage.  I'll be right back.

That's better.  I've got my favorite brew in hand - a homemade cup of Einstein's Hazelnut Coffee..... mmmmm delicious.  I've been drinking cup after cup of tea recentely (I have a nasty cough), but I just needed a cup of goodness this morning.

Today I have a day off. 

It's not like a day off, it is a day off. 

We worked parent-teacher conferences the last two nights, and since they can't pay us for it, we get the next day off.  Hence, no going to school for me today.  However, I apparently don't know how to take a day off.  I made my to-do list for this weekend, at least half of which I hope to accomplish today.... it includes grading all the work for my online class I got behind on when I was grading all the work for my IRL classes before PT conferences (I don't have any more abbreviations, or I'd throw them in just to be funny), grading workbooks, planning the next week of online curriculum and getting it uploaded, doing laundry and putting away the piles that are still out in the basket from last week, cleaning the living room, kitchen, dining room, birdcage, master bathroom, master bedroom, guestroom (and, in all that cleaning, hoping to freshen up the house from the "dog" smell we have now), walk the dog and walk the horse. 

But I'm also drinking my favorite coffee, wearing my favorite sweatpants.  And later, I'm going to spend the evening with some of my favorite friends at small group.  And walking the dog and horse (not simultaneously, of course), is fun for me and fun for them.  And I hope to see my parents and sister sometime this weekend.

And having the chance to stay home instead of go into work truly makes it, regardless of what I am doing here, a day off.

Love it.

Here are a few pictures I'm dying to show you!

A double rainbow (the top is very faint) we saw on our drive to Wyoming to see Husband's family.

The first leg of Grandma Harriett's retirement / birthday party - she's the one dressed like a prisoner.  The theme of the party was her parole, as she retired from working at the Wyoming State Penn.  It was quite a fun night - after this stage, the party continued with close family friends and their kids and kids' friends (all now in their 20s) talking, laughing, singing (oh yes, singing), and more.



Here's a picture of our little snuggle bug - she seriously loves to cuddle, although she still wants to play a lot of the time!  We decided to name her Ginger, but call her Ginny for short.

And I'm in love with fall (although it's a little warm again today) and wrote a post about it here, but wanted to show you my mantle.  I love it.  It's a little busy, I know, but it's beautiful to me.

Happy Friday!  May your day be like a day off, too.