Love Day

I choose to celebrate Valentine's Day, not because I buy into (emotionally or financially) the commercialized "must show my Husband how much I love him one day a year" mentality, but because it is a day that celebrates love.

You know, LOVE.

Agape. Philia. Storge. Eros. Agape, selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love. Philia, close friendship or brotherly love. Storge, family love, the bond among fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers. Eros, physical sensual love between a man and his wife. (I confess, I had never heard the word "storge" before, but I'm liking it.) LOVE.

And I'm of the opinion that love is worth celebrating, worth cherishing, worth taking time to remember. That, if we are truly living, we'll love, from the very center of our being. Love is a verb, a noun, an action, a thing, a feeling, a doing. It encompasses all.

Now, I'm not into commercial Valentine's Day. Husband and I bought each other cards and wrote a heart-message to each other. Sister and I bought each other a little gift, a tradition we've had forever. Sometimes Husband and I go out to dinner or cook together, but today our family is coming in from out of town for a week, so we'll go see them instead. I'm not upset about not having a grand overture of love displayed. I don't need a dozen roses or a huge box of chocolates or a fancy dinner.

I just want to celebrate LOVE.

I love my husband.

3 and a half years of marriage, 6 + years of being together, and I love him and maybe more importantly, respect my husband more than I did even last year. I love growing with him, learning with him, being with him. I've shared with you recently some reasons I'm thankful for him and some things the Lord has been teaching me about him and things we've been going through. I've shared how he, Baby C, and the dog are my family now, how I just want to spend time with them. 7 years ago, when I first met Husband, I would never have dreamed that I would be married to him, having a family with him, loving him. But he's my man, and I am so glad I allowed God to work with my heart, and that Husband and I continue to do so as we grow together. LOVE.

I love my family.

My little man, who I haven't met yet, but will soon. I am terrified at how much I think I might end up loving him, but excited all the same. I love my sister, my best friend. She's always there, always ready to laugh, cry, be serious, be silly. I love my parents, who have supported me year after year, put up with a lot and done so with grace and love, and who are now among those I call my friends. I love my dog. She brings me great joy. LOVE.

I love my friends.

My BFF, Brooke, now in Korea, is the one of the first people I want to call when I have a story to tell, or need to indulge in some over-sharing. She's a friend I know I've have no matter how much time or distance separates us. My cousin-BFF, Caroline, who is exactly 5 months older than I am, and had her first baby boy about 3 months before I'll have mine. She's a friend that I've had my whole life, and because I know we've already survived the growing-up ups and downs, we'll be friends always. My friend Liz, whom I met in Spain randomly several years ago, who randomly moved here and became my roommate a few years after that, who was in my wedding and I in hers, who is one of my best sounding boards. My small group people, as we all learn to live life together. LOVE.

I love my job, and my students. They teach me more than anything or anyone else, inspire me, challenge me, grow me. LOVE.

And most of all, I love the One, my creator, savior, father, lord, friend, lover.

Well, I want to love Him. I know that HE loves me.

And His love is

generous
unconditional
endless
perfect
powerful
life-changing
gracious
passionate
greater
stronger
enough.

And I know that, the more I invest in time spent with Him, the more I know Him, the more I'm going to love Him, too. The more He'll change my life, the more He'll be what I need. Because I'll love him, catching a glimpse of how He loves me.

LOVE.

Seems like it's worth celebrating, don't you think?

May today you be wrapped in love, shower it onto others, and know that love is perhaps the most true and worthy thing to celebrate, anyway.

Real...ly Lovely to Be Home

Linking up today with Gypsy Mama and others to share on what's Real.

For me, today, it's real...ly lovely to be home.  We're having a real snow day, the first in a few years, I think, where we the snow is actually piling up.  I'm missing being at my parents' house, because they live in the middle of a beautiful forest, and there is nothing quite like snow-laden pine trees.  They're gorgeous.  I see the back of the town houses across from us and the cars in the parking lot covered in snow.  And our tree, which I am so glad we have, as it's the only one in the row, doesn't have branches wide enough to be laden.

But regardless, on this real snow day, complete with snow (as opposed to last year, where we got one for -20 degrees or something like that), I'm really happy to be home.  It's wonderful to have the opportunity to stay in bed as long as want - not sleeping, I can't sleep during the day - but reading a book, drinking coffee, working on school work.  I love my job, but an expected three day weekend is a real blessing.  Life is good these days, but busy and I'm tired.  And so a day off from the usual routine is really, really, wonderful.

It's real that my best friend from college, Brooke, has moved to Korea (she is on the plane to Seoul as I type this), and there is a really real chance we won't see each other for a year.  She won't get to be here to see me get even more uncomfortably pregnant, she'll miss it when our son comes into the world, and she won't be here to help me figure out how to finish decorating the nursery.  But the amazing thing about this real frienship, a truly real, deep, two-way friendship, is that, no matter how long we go without seeing each other, no matter how long it is before I can use the speed dial on my phone to call her again whenever I feel like it, no matter how many miles separate us, we will always be there for each other.  She's one of those friends.  The kind that gets to see the real you, the one who is full of joy and smiling, and the one who is a sniveling snot-covered mess on a bad day.  And you get to see the real her, too.  And so, despite the fact that I'm really sad she'll be so far away, I'm really excited for her journey and for mine, and for how our lives and roads will continue to intersect and matter to each other.  And I'm really excited that such a thing as Skype exists. (As I finished typing this, a package (one of several installements) that Brooke sent for Baby arrived.  She's the cutest, most thoughtful, most creative gift giver ever.)

And in the interest of being real, here's the real me today.  I might get dressed later, we'll see.  I might put my contacts in, but I'm not sure.  I definitely won't put on any make up, and well, that's really nice for me.  Here's what me being in bed for the day really looks like (yes, computer AND iPad going), and for Ginny.  She's really bothered that I'm home, as you can see.

As I continue to think about what's real today, I think about the One.  He's pretty real, and I continue to be amazed at the very real ways He interacts and responds to my heart.  Just yesterday I asked Him to continue to reveal and teach me about His Glory.  I opened up to wear I am in Mark (as I work my way through the New Testament), and found Mark's version of the same story that got me really thinking about Glory in the first place.  I just laughed.  And then God shared some more thoughts on Glory with me.  Because He is real, and He is responsive, and He Is.

Oh, and I really want something super bad for me to eat, but I'm not sure what.  Something that's really salty.  Chinese?  Mexican?  I don't know, but I really want it.  Too bad my car has crappy tires, no four wheel drive, and I promised Husband I wouldn't go out today, anyway, unless someone else drives me.   I really love that man, and how he wants to take care of and protect the Peanut and I.  Speakingn of the Peanut, he's really going to town today.  Kick kick kick, hiccup hiccup hiccup, punch kick hiccup.  Love it.

Forgive my slight shallowness today, friends, on what's real.  I really try to be a person who lives what she says and shows the good, the bad, and the in-between, and I could expand on that instead, but for today, I choose to share what today's real looks like. 

By the way, have I mentioned that it's really lovely to be home? 

30 Thankful Days - Day 3

Day 3 of 30 Thankful Days!  If you have a post to share, link up over at Dawn's Good Life.  It's pretty fun  and good for the heart to read about what others are thankful for.

Since I missed Day 1, I decided I'm going to post about TWO things today, both of which bring me great joy and happiness.  Ready?

Thankful "Thing" #1:

Ginny, the best puppy-friend ever.  Yesterday she was pretty excited to stay home with me all day.  She spent most of the day sleeping curled up on the couch or asking me to play, but was completely enthralled when the men from the HOA came to shovel our walkways.

She's VERY curious.  And very active, very involved, and very, very sweet.  She's the best cuddle puppy ever. We pretty much can't imagine what life would be like without her.  She waits patiently for an invitation onto the couch with you (although, if you take too long, she might grunt a little, kind of like the Angry Birds pigs do).  She love love loves it if you invite her onto the bed, because that's a rare treat.  She wants to play with you whenever you're willing, and she loves it when you put your tennis shoes on, because she thinks it might be time to go for a walk.  She loves to run around with the "big dogs" at Mom and Dad's (two Siberian huskies) and play until they are all exhausted.  She loves to lay in the sunshine, but is getting more interested in the snow (although she won't ever like it as much as the big dogs do).  And she loves to be with us, wherever we are.

Someone asked us if we were going to get rid of her when the peanut comes.  Are you kidding?  That would be like losing a family member.  We're convinced she's going to be a GREAT big sister.  She makes us happy.

Thankful Thing #2:

Okay, if you know me at all, or have been reading my blog for a while, you should be able to guess what thing that only comes around this time of year makes me extremely, ridiculously, excitedly, joyously, just plain happy....

The Gingerbread Latte.  In a Christmas cup, no less.

Here's my actual first one this morning:

I loved the cups last year with the little carolers and people, but this cup sums up the truth quite well.  Any day with a GBL is a snow day.  A little bit of heaven.  As I explain to my students or other people who think I'm nuts, it's really truly like God's little personal gift to me, Beth.  Happiness overtakes me with every sip, every whiff of it's delicious aroma.

Mmm.  Deliciousness.  Happiness. 

I know it might be silly to be thankful for a cup of coffee, but that's me.  I really feel like it's a little gift for me each time I drink one.  No matter the mood, a Gingerbread Latte lifts my spirits, reminds me of what's good, that it's all in His hands, and that He cares about me.

And yes, I might be obsessed.  (You can read about my love for GBLs here and here if you really want to grasp the depth of how I feel.  I can measure how long I've been a blogger in how many years I've posted on GBLs, lol.

A quick story, before I go to class.  (We have a 7 period chaotic day today, insted of our normal 4 period block, due to yesterday's snow day.)  It was years ago that my BFF Caroline, my cousin, introduced me to the Gingbread Latte.  Caroline is exactly five months older than I am, to the day, and we grew up seeing each other at least once a year, but usually more often, as our families are close friends (our moms are sisters).  It was like having a built in best friend my entire life, and it hasn't changed a bit.  We're now both 29, and when we get to see each other, we laugh, we cry, we have fun.  Caroline is expecting her first baby in just over a month, and when she called to tell me she was pregnant, she told me I had five months to join her to keep the tradition going.   Mission accomplished.  Within 3 - 4 months of her baby boy joining the family, I'll bring the peanut home, too. 

Wait, this wasn't the point of the story.

Yesterday she texted to me that she'd just ordered her first GBL of the season (we had a laugh, as the barista called her "mamacita.")  This morning I texted her to tell her that I was drinking my first - and immediately had a response saying she was drinking one too.... so we enjoyed a moment of "having GBLs together," despite the many, many states and time zones between us. 

GBL Love.  You just can't contain it.

For Edie, a friend I didn't know until today

This morning I got up earlier than I meant to, but now I know why.  I decided that, with the extra minutes I had, I would dive back into blogland, a place I haven't truly been in months.  I myself haven't blogged much at all for a semester, but I can't remember the last time I read others or commented.

But this morning, I read.  And several of my blog friends were posting for Edie, on her birthday. 

Curious, I went to Edie's blog. 




A few of her friends hijacked her blog and wrote a post inviting all and any who have been touched by Edie and her blog to share some love with her today.  By now you're catching on to the fact that I have never read Edie, so it's a bit illogical that I am writing a post for her.

I went back a few posts on Edie's blog.  And then a few more. And before I knew it, several minutes had gone by, I had read several of her posts, and I was almost in tears.   You see, if you go back to a 10 days or so before Christmas, Edie had a beautiful post about how she was decorating her house for Christmas, how she was reading John Milton's poem, "On the Morning of Christ's Nativity," how she was thinking deeply on advent and what it meant.  Included are beautiful pictures of her mantle in her lovely home.  Then there's a post on award winning (and most likely, extremely bad for my resolution to eat healthy) fudge.  A few more posts mixed with what is clearly Edie's style - light hearted blended with deeply thoughtful. 

And then the first post, where her friends posted a prayer, and stated that all of Edie's family was safe.

Because Edie's house, the Tuesday before Christmas, burned down to the ground, completely.  Then I read the post where Edie talked about the journey of that week, and of Christmas, and I couldn't believe it.  For Edie, who is most certainly heartbroken, shaken, and overwhelmed, continued to make clear that she serves and loves a God in whom she believes whole-heartedly, One who protected them, even the dogs, and One who will continue to provide.  And I cried. 

Today is Edie's birthday.  And although I just "met" her today, I could not help but to post a birthday tribute, because, in one half an hour, my life is already changed by reading her stories. 

May this year be what it needs to be, Edie.  May you and your family continue to find healing, and provision, and may the Lord who is merciful and full of grace make His face shine upon you, so that you may know His deep and everlasting love and peace.

Happy Birthday.

A Visit

Tonight I'm sitting on the couch next one of my most favorite-ist people in the world ever, my friend Brooke. She and her hubby live in Texas, where Matt is a Instructor Pilot in the Air Force, but he had to go to Alabama for a month for some training, leaving her in a little town that, although she's grown to deal with, she does not love. Of course, the upside to the situation is that it gave her the perfect excuse to come spend almost two weeks here!

Brooke and I on a hike last summer (okay, I lied- we did go on two hikes - one at Garden of the Gods and one to Helen Hunt Falls- but this picture is just of us in my parents' back"yard").

Brooke and I met as RAs in college and just clicked- but unfortunately, I was a senior when we met, so we only got one year of live-in-the-same-place friendship. (Which, she adds as she reads over my shoulder, was wonderful.) Still, we've been decently intentional about seeing each other at least once a year. Usually she comes here because she loves it (although this visit we're having abnormally hot weather) and we can go hiking and be outdoors and see mountains and whatnot.

Anyway, my point is that I am super excited and blessed to get to spend some time with Brooke. We've already gone a good walk, had a couple of delicious meals, laughed a lot, and had some thought-provoking conversations. Today she even helped me reorganize some of the chaos that has been my house (isn't that real friendship?!?).

We've also started a little blog together to chronicle our journey towards becoming healthier people (both physically and spiritually), so feel free to visit at The Skinny Bs - although our design is still in progress, so don't judge. :) I think our goal is mainly to write so we can keep each other accountable and laugh a lot, but you can join in too, if you want.

Well, I suppose it's about time for us to make some brownies- but don't worry - we're making No Pudge Fudge Brownies with fat free yogurt, so we're not breaking our healthier life pact already.

May your summer start off as well as mine has so far (today was my first day!), and may you also have the gift of a lifelong friend who, as Brooke and I say, is for the reals.

P.S. I still want to blog about that really great Psalm I read - I promise it will come soon!

Speaking to Sadness thru Psalms

Linking up today with my Coffee Company girls, a Friday favorite of mine. Right now I'm sipping on a Mexican roast coffee that I made even yummier by adding a little cream, sugar, vanilla, and cinnamon. Mmmmm. My students are busily working on skits for a chapter final project (a school appropriate version of Dr. Phil meets Jerry Springer), so I thought I'd steal a few minutes to catch you up on the week.

Thus far, I've been faithful to my committment to read a Psalm a morning (I'm only on Psalm 4, so it's only been four mornings, but hey, that's a start, right?) Each morning I've had jotted down a quick thought from the Psalm I've read and have tried to hang on to that thought throughout the day (no easy feat considering how much I think about and have going on in a 10 hour period). Both Psalms 3 (yesterday's) and 4 (today's) have had a verse or two that have really spoken to my heart, particulary in light of what's been on my heart this week. Let me share that with you, and then you'll see how God's been speaking to me.

(First thing to acknowledge is that I need a scanner, because I really wanted to scan some old photos and upload them for you to see. Sadly, no scanner, no photos.)

13 years ago I started at a new high school as a freshman, knowing only one other girl. Quickly, she introduced me to her friends, one of them being a really nice girl named Janelle. Janelle and I clicked- we even became locker partners sophomore year. We survived some serious high school drama and stayed friends even after I switched to a different high school for junior and senior year. When we went off to college, we roomed together freshman and sophomore year, again surviving some big drama. We dealt with a lot of stuff together, supported each other. We've been living in the same town for the last 13 years of our lives, and although for these last 6 we haven't hung out every week, we're the type of friends who get together every couple of months and it's as if no time has passed.

About 2 1/2 years ago, we called each other within months to relate our engagements- and then we chose wedding dates a month apart, too. Coffee dates in those months were filled with plans, dreams, laughter. We talked about her new favorite movie, P.S. I Love You- she was so deeply touched because she was on the verge of being married and she couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose your spouse after such a short time. She and her fiancé, Dave, came to our wedding to celebrate with us, but also to "take notes." Dave commented to me during the reception that they had thought of several things they wanted to do/not do at their wedding. I could only find this picture of the two of them from the wedding (they're the couple talking to each other in the bottom right corner of the picture), but I'm sure they're talking and joking and planning and dreaming their future together.

A month later, Husband and I enjoyed celebrating their marriage at their wedding, a beautiful and simple ceremony. In the months that followed, Janelle and I continued to get together for coffee dates periodically, talking about our adventures in marriage, our husbands, our in-laws. Our last coffee date was a while ago, but I'd been planning to call her soon.

On Monday, I was sitting in my classroom grading when I got a call from another college friend. I knew right away something was wrong, because we hardly ever talk. She wanted me to hear from a friend that Dave had passed away. Unexpectedly. He'd been "missing" and Janelle and filed a missing persons report and the police found him. Thank the Lord that Janelle was not the one to find him. She had no idea anything was wrong, no one appears to have known.

My heart is broken for her. I cannot even imagine life without Husband now. A year and a half of marriage is such a short time. The shock of it, the reasoning, the living with it. Unimagineable. I didn't know Dave well, but I know Janelle. And she LOVED him. And he was GOOD for her. And now? Now it's broken. She's broken. We're all a little broken.

But God has been speaking to me through His Psalms. Yesterday (in Psalm 3) He told me, "Look, there are more enemies than I can count, and they're saying I can get no help from you. But you shield me on all sides. I stretch myself out and I sleep. I'm rested, fearless before the enemy mobs. God help me! Real help comes from God, blessings." And today, from Psalm 4:7(ish), "I have God's more-than-enough, more joy in an ordinary day."

Though enemies are numerous, God is faithful, and rest will be provided. Though my heart is broken for my friend's loss, for the heartache and pain that will continue to come, though Satan tries to trick me into feeling guilty for not being a good enough friend, though I do not know that Dave knew Christ and I do not know where Janelle stands, God is faithful, He will defeat the enemy, and there will be rest.

Though today holds sorrow and pain and darkness, yet there is joy to be found. Joy is not dependent on circumstances. God is more than enough.

God is more than enough.