To Blog or Not to Blog...

... that is the question.

Of course, according to my blog over the last few months, not to blog has definitely been the answer.  My last post was in October, a short one commemorating my 30th birthday.  Before that, I'd taken some time off, too.

I've thought about blogging, a few times, but not nearly as much as I used to think about it.  Before, I would store up thoughts and stories and pictures to share, but recently, those thoughts rarely cross my mind.  I even got out of the habit of posting monthly updates on the Peanut, which surely should have been my motivator.  Life just has been.... going.  Being a mom, teaching full time, supporting Husband while he works full time and goes to school, well, it's time-consuming.  And so things that are not "required" fall by the wayside. 

But I'm realizing that some of the "non-essentials" that are over there on that wayside (where ever that might be) are things that are really good for me, that help me to be a healthy person.  You know, being intentional about quiet times, getting some exercise, sleeping enough hours, hanging out with people I care about.  Those kinds of things.  They are over there on the wayside, which isn't really a good thing.

And today I started thinking that blogging might be one of those wayside things that actually, was something really healthy for me to do.  Today our pastor posted a link to another friend's blog, a post she'd written a couple of years ago.  In it, she shared the story of when she first allowed Jesus to be hers, to be her healer.  I was blessed enough to be a part of that story, to get to walk with her through that time, and to this day it remains one of the most incredible experiences of my life.  She'd referenced my blog in her story, and so I clicked on the link and began to read one of my old posts.  From there I read another, another, and another, soaking in the stories, the truths, the life I have lived over the last few years. 

And I realized that one way I consistently processed and made sure I was learning and growing was by writing on this blog, by processing externally, by having a place to record my thoughts, to process.  Some of my most meaningful posts never made it to my journal, and still aren't making it there.  And if I'm not writing, then I'm not getting quite the same good stuff for me as I have before.

But I'm hesitant to say I'll start blogging again, because life IS.  And I don't want to start and not mean it.  I don't want to get consumed by followers or comments, or the lack thereof, in my case.  I don't want to focus on wishing for more recognition or blog-building.  If I can't blog because it's really just good for me, then I don't think blogging is really good for me, after all. 

I'm not sure what I think, just yet.  I see how blogging (among a few other key things in my life) can be and is often what I need to do for me.  But I also see how it isn't.   I'm not sure I'm back, but it feels right to put this question out there.

To blog, or not to blog..... I don't know yet.