Catching Up: A Mountain Trip

My family has never been the "family vacation" type.  It's not really that we didn't want to, but rather that, given the chance, we'd rather go see our extended family, the same mentioned in this post yesterday.

We have, however, taken family trips to this place for more than twenty years.

Welcome to Rams Horn Village, nestled near the town of Estes Park and at the base of Rocky Mountain National Park, one of my family's favorite places to be.  My grandma found Rams Horn many years ago, and we've stayed there nearly every summer for practically forever.  It's tradition now.  We go hiking in the park (we have several favorite trails), we walk the town and do a little light shopping, we eat good food, we go to the pool if the weather is cooperative, and we rest.  It's awesome, and one of the things we most look forward to each summer.  Some of our favorite memories come from our trips here, especially those with my grandparents.


A couple of weeks ago was Will's first trip to Estes Park to stay at Rams Horn.  He, his Nonna (my mom), Grandad (my dad), Tia (my sister), and I headed up midweek, but poor Daddy (Husband) had to wait until Friday night to join us, due to his job.  The weather was pretty much gorgeous, but unfortunately they are doing major roadwork in RMNP, cutting off access to most of the trails we usually hike (and the ones I felt I could do with Will strapped to my front).  Still, we were able to drive around the park, watch as a wedding party took pictures at the Illuvial Fan, and hike to Alberta Falls, one of our favorite easy hikes.  We even saw a huge herd of elk... a first for all of us!  We have only ever seen a few at a time before.

Not only did Will go on his first hike, but he also went to his first rodeo.  Estes Park is home of the Rooftop Rodeo, voted the PRCA's Best Small Rodeo.  We love the rodeo, and were pretty bummed when we discovered our Estes Park trip coincided with the Pikes Peak or Bust Rodeo, meaning we'd have to miss out.  Sister and I were pretty estatic to see that the Rooftop Rodeo was going on while we were there, though, so rodeo-ing we went.  On a whim I'd thrown this little outfit in the suitcase, so Will was the best-dressed in our family.  It was a great little rodeo, with some of the best bucking horses I have ever seen and an incredible view - Lake Estes and the Rocky Mountains as the backdrop.

Will's other first was a couple of trips to the pool.  He only spent a few minutes in the pool each time, and I'm not totally sure he liked it, but he didn't hate it, either.  What he did hate was getting out - he cried and cried - but he cries getting out of the bathtub, too.  He was pretty stinking cute in his little bathing outfit, though.

The rest of the time was spent hanging out, walking around town, and just being together as a family.  We did absolutely no work and were able to, I think, truly get some much needed rest before things get going again.  Wish we could have stayed a few more days!

Catching-Up: Family Visit

As I get ready to head back to work in a couple of weeks, I am working on getting us into some good and healthy routines, and getting back into the swing of things, including blogging.  Before I get into anything new, I have a few posts coming to catch you up on our summer.

 Tia and her favorite nephew.

First, we were so excited to have my Aunt Mary, Uncle Blair, cousin Caroline and her hubs Jake, and their baby boy Henry, come to visit at the beginning of July.

 Caroline, Jake, and Henry on the porch.

I've posted about Caroline before - she's been one of my bestest best friends since birth, literally.  Exactly five months older than I am and with best friend moms (sisters), she and I have spent countless hours playing, dreaming, swimming, walking, talking, growing up, and living life together.  Despite the distance between our homes, we've stayed close.  Her little boy is just over three months older than Will, so we are already planning their best-friendship, too.   Jake, Caroline's husband, is a welcome addition to our family, and we were really glad he was able to come on this visit, too!

My aunt and uncle come out a few times a year, since Mom and Aunt Mary's dad, my grandpa, is here and can't really travel.  We have always been pretty close, but I would say the last few years have been the best - being an adult-kid adds a new level to the relationship.  Since they've been here often, they have also gotten to know Husband.  He loves being around them, too.  We're just comfortable and happy together.

 The two Nonnas and their grandsons.

This visit was different than those of the past - two babies really does change everything.  We still, however, made sure the best part of our family time still happened: breakfast and coffee at the kitchen counter and time on the front porch.  Will and I made sure to leave our house early enough that we wouldn't miss that oh-so-important time.  From pancakes to scones to Mom's incredible biscuits and many, many cups of coffee, we indulged and enjoyed. 

The men got to play golf and catch a couple of movies, while the ladies did a little shopping, a lot of chit-chatting, and, of course, a ton of baby snuggling and smiling. 

Henry and his Nonna, and Will with Caroline... he was having a rough day, but he still loved her!

Will and Henry definitely took notice of each other, and Will even picked up a few tips from Hen over their few days together (read: Will discovered his voice and started coo-ing non-stop after hearing Henry babble and laugh all the time.  He also began drooling, in apparent effort to mimic his cousin's "drool bombs."  Makes sense he would want to copy his cousin, as I always wanted to copy mine.)  We can't wait to see how the interact the next time they are together, when both are a little older!

Henry also got to meet his great-grandpa Bob, who turns 97 tomorrow.  (I'll be posting on him, don't worry.)  Grandpa loved seeing Henry and Will - we think the babies give him a new lease on life.

Henry and his Great-Grandpa Bob

Family is definitely one of the most important things to me, and this particular family some of my favorite people in the world.  So glad we got to spend a little time together and have our two baby boys meet and begin what we hope is a lifelong friendship, just like ours!

 All kinds of cousins!

Who Knew?

Who Knew That...

... some babies don't like to take naps for more than 30 minutes at a time, making it nearly imposisble to get anything of substance done?

... sneaking all sorts of bits of chocolate and other things here and there during pregnancy would indeed make it a little lot more challenging to lose the preggo-weight (read my plea for accountability here?

... a bedroom could seem so much bigger when you take the pack-and-play away and have the baby sleep in his own room?

... making a meal plan for the week and buying the groceries accordingly actually helps you stick to the budget and eat healthier?

... your house is never quite as picked up as you'd like it to be when you have a child, no matter how old they are, I'm guessing?

... you can memorize some of those children's books pretty quickly?  The sun has set not long ago, and everybody goes below... I don't even read that book anymore, I just recite it as we rock before bed.  (The Going to Bed Book, by Sandra Boynton)

... figuring out how to cut your spending to find a seemingly exorbitant amount of money to pay for daycare is quite challenging?

... coming up with creative, non-mommy things to blog is also challenging, since my day is mostly mommy-ish?

... that, even if I wanted to tell you about something non-mommy-ish, like the yummy homemade lettuce wraps with quinoa, chicken, and veggies I made yesterday, it would sort of be pointless because I didn't think to get a picture because I barely had time to make them?

...watching your baby's face light up in a huge smile when he sees you could so totally make your day?

... that Jesus still has a lot to say to you, if you'd just take the time to listen?

... and that He doesn't mind if your quiet time is interrupted frequently by attending to the baby; He still wants to talk?

... it is nearly impossible to grasp what life is going to be like when I go back to work and Husband starts school?

... how much I would miss Husband when he went back to work, even though I was (am) glad he was able to get a job?

... how freaking adorable it is to see my son sleeping in his crib, a little baby in a big bed, with his arms flung wide out of the blanket since he is apparently incapable of falling asleep without being swaddled but also incapable of not wiggling free?

... it's hard not to wish I had more followers or comments and wonder how I could grow my blog, while simultaenously stubbornly refusing to take the time to find, go to, read, and comment on others' blogs, which I think might be the trick?

... that I would be annoyed with myself for caring about something stupid like followers and comments?

... that the Bumbo may not be something our Peanut likes, even though you'd think he would?

... that DVR would be one of my almost favorite-ist things, especially upon discovery of some fun Food Network shows?

... that I end up staying awake way later than I should to grab some "me" time and put the house to sort-of-rights after Will goes to sleep, so I secretly sometimes wish his bedtime was a little earlier?

... that I could easily come up with a bunch more things I didn't apparently know?


You probably knew.... but I'm just learning them. 

3 Months and a Plea for Accountability

Note: I wrote this the day after Will's 3 Month Birthday, which was the 24th, but, due to the fires, I was distracted the rest of the week.  :)



Yesterday morning I sang "Happy Birthday" to Will to celebrate his 3 Month Birthday.  He smiled, laughed, clapped, and of course, I couldn't get it on camera.  The second he saw the little "picture about to be taken" focus light, he was wide-eyed and startled looking.  Still cute.

Development: I have no idea how much Will weighs or how long he is at this point.  I suppose I could try to weigh him and get out the tape measure, but I'm lazy.  He's bigger than he was before, that's what I know.  I'll tell you what the official result is at his 4 month check-up.  Let's just say that he fills in his car seat and your arm gets tired after holding him more than before.

He's able to hold his head up quite a bit without bobbing all over the place, and he's rolled over twice.  The first time, my friend Brooke and I were sitting and chatting while he had some tummy time and then both were like, "wait, did that just happen?!"  Actually, since I started this post, Will has proven that he officially has learned to roll over from his tummy to his back.  Put him down for tummy time, and within a minute, he'll roll over.  We've started having him sit propped up more, too, to take in a new world view.

He's alert a lot more of the time, and definitely taking in the world.  He's very verbal - he tells us about everything and I can't wait to hear more. 

Personality: Will's moods can change in the flash of an instant.  One minute, a piercing temper-tantrum throwing scream.  The next?  He's all smiles.  Really, he's wonderful.  I do think that, once he's old enough to get it, we quite possibly will be working on learning that having a fit is not the way to get something you need.

He's learning to contentedly spend time independently - in his crib, on his mat on the floor, in his swing, but he also really enjoys his "people time," too.  He really loves being held upright and checking things out.

Sleep:  Night time sleeping is going pretty well!  He's going to bed between 8 and 9 most nights, and usually wakes up between 1 and 3 to eat.  Lots of times he wakes up again between 4 and 5, depending on how early he woke up before, but if I bring him to cuddle in bed for a little while (don't judge), he goes right back to sleep until about 7. 

Nap time is the thing that's hard.  He really only will sleep for about 30 - 45 minutes max, no matter how sleepy he really is.  I'm hoping that he'll figure out the longer nap, soon.  He's certainly being awake for longer, so I think he needs to nap longer, too.  He just gets himself so tuckered out!  But he also hates falling asleep for naps - he's already not wanting to miss things.

Eating: No changes here.  Still eating every 2 to 3 hours during the day.  We do a mixture of breast-feeding and pumped bottle-feeding, with maybe a bottle of formula a day, too, depending.  He has a healthy appetite, for sure.

Likes/Dislikes:  Ceiling fans.  He loves ceiling fans.   Today he laid on the floor at my parents' house and just laughed and smiled as he watched the fan go round and round.  He likes his little ducky blanket, as you can clearly see here.  This little video makes me laugh and laugh and laugh.

He sincerely dislikes falling asleep for naps, as I mentioned, but there isn't much else he truly seems to dislike, aside from situational things.  He's really pretty good natured, except for when he isn't. :)

Baths are something that he sort of likes, like maybe.  He's pretty squirmy, and we might be moving to be a bigger baby bath soon, because he's filling up the little one pretty quickly.  The thing he doesn't like about baths is the cold air when he gets out, even though the house has been 80 degrees for the last week.  However, we've found that swaddled into this fun Lil' Husker towel, given to us by some friends, he doesn't mind it quite so much.

Milestones: I've pretty much already given these away!  He's taught himself to roll over, so that's huge.  I'm quite grateful he hasn't learned the back-to-tummy roll yet, though.  And he's a laugher, which to me is a milestone.  We've also narrowed daycare down to two places, and are leaning towards one, which may not be a milestone for him, but certainly is for me.

Mommy Update: Mommy is quite unhappy with her figure these days.  I'm going to just be totally honest and show you the two pictures that make me cringe.  And I mean C.R.I.N.G.E.   I don't want to be hung up on body image stuff, but the reality is, I don't feel good about myself, and if that doesn't change, going back to work is going to be really hard.  I need to feel healthy and feel like things are improving, so it's time to get my act together. 

And I'm asking you to help hold me accountable. 

There are a few things I really need to do to start to feel healthier and better about myself:

One: Develop a better eating schedule that I can take into the school year.  

I often don't eat breakfast, so my metabolism doesn't get going as it should.  And during school, sometimes I barely eat lunch, too.  As a result, I eat a ton in the afternoon and evening.  Recently I found out that this is how Sumo wrestlers gain weight.  Obviously that diet has clearly got to go.   I also tend to eat compulsively when doing "sitting" activities - grading papers, watching T.V., reading a book.  That needs to stop, too, unless I'm snacking on green beans!

Two: Eat better and in the right amounts.

I'm a salt and starch addict.  Give me cheese and crackers, nachos, bread and butter, and I'll be a happy girl.  Until I look at those pictures again, and realize I am starching my way into misery.  I'm mostly cutting out those types of things and loading up on the lean meats and fruits and veggies.  I'm limiting the sugar in my coffee and not drinking soda at all (except for when we go out for pizza).  I want to snack on things like grapes and almonds, but not look down and realize I've eaten the whole back of almonds in one sitting. 

Three: Exercise.

No matter how hot it is, or how much Will wants to be held, I know I can find 30 minutes to do a workout video, get on the treadmill, or go for a walk.  It's just about me getting off my lazy rear end and stopping making excuses.

That's the theme here - no more excuses.  It's time to just do it, because I need to feel good about me.  Will you help me?  Seriously, I would love to hear from you now and again asking me how I'm doing, and holding me accountable to posting periodically on my journey to better health.

Speaking of which, I'm going to go cut up the pineapple and watermelon sitting in my fridge so I can snack on those tomorrow.

The Power of Fire

I have never shared where I live on this blog (although if you have paid attention, you would have figured it out, at least the state).   But to share with you what we have been going through, well, I have to tell you where I live. 

This is my hometown, Colorado Springs.  I show you these views of Pikes Peak and of Garden of the Gods, because these are the places I have grown up looking for most of my life.  These mountains, these gorgeous, forest-laden mountains, hold places I have often visited, trails I have often hiked, and friends' houses I have often visited.

And if you've been paying any attention to the news in the last few days, those mountains are on fire. 
(In actuality, Colorado is on fire... on Sunday there were 8 forest fires buring across the state, including this one, the Waldo Canyon Fire, and the High Park Fire near Fort Collins, which has burned more than 80,000 acres.)

Saturday afternoon I came home from Husband's softball games, noticing a plume of smoke in the mountains.  By that evening, we knew a pretty big forest fire had broken out.  It seemed like it was mostly going to threaten areas up the mountain, which was upsetting, but life went on.  We watched the news over the next couple of days, tracking it's progress, noting areas that had been evacuated, but still the experience felt a little far off, even as we watched the plumes of smoke.  Sure, we had to keep our windows closed to keep the smoke out, which meant that, for those of us without AC, inside temps reached as high as 88 degrees, cool, compared to the 100 degrees outside.  (Record highs for Colorado, by the way.) 

My family particularly paid attention as they live in a forest on the northeast side of town, knowing that, with the intense dryness and the intense heat, a small spark could light up their world, too.  With all the fires going on around the state, the smoke making our normal views hazy and frightening, and the heat, everything felt a little surreal, and as if anything could happen.

That feeling increased dramatically on Tuesday.

That morning, I headed out for coffee with my mom, followed by a little shopping trip and then a salad from Whole Foods.  From our location, we could see the smoke moving up the ridge of the mountains, towards the north, towards homes, towards the Air Force Academy.  By that afternoon, many reported literally seeing the flames racing down the hills towards the city.  The smoke descended on us, and ash fell all over the city, including at our home, several miles away. 

Watching the news made me want to cry.  Correction, I did cry.  The images were startling, nightmarish, vivid.  Homes were burning, and places we love, like the Flying W. Ranch, where I went many times with my grandparents and family over the years, including the day Husband and I got engaged, burned to the ground. 

What had felt surreal, yet far away, was suddenly very close.  The idea of sleep was almost unimaginable.  I finally made myself turn off the TV and told Husband not to let me turn it back on again.  As a child, I was severely afraid of fire, but over the last many years, that fear had faded, and I had almost forgotten.  Now, suddenly, I remembered. I  am terrified of fire. 

Wednesday morning dawned with a press conference explaining the damage.  The fire had gone from about 6,000 acres to 15,000 in the span of several hours.  An unknown number (now estimated to be in the hundreds) of homes had been lost.  The wind and other weather factors, unable to be controlled by human hand, had caused the fire to become an inferno.  Devastation had ensued.  The Air Force Academy had been evacuated as the fire threatened to continue on it's way.

Yesterday I spent the day at my parents', helping them mitigate a little, just in case, although if a forest fire really were to break out where they live, I don't think anything could really help.  We waited all day to see if the fire would continue raging, or if it would be a good day.  Small rainstorms scattered the area, bringing hope and fear simultaneously.  A little rain would do nothing, but the lightening accompanying it could do serious damage.  Areas to the north were put on pre-evacuation, including the town where my good friend lives.  As she is on vacation in Mexico, I wondered if I should break into her house and get some things for her. 

We learned this morning that the fire increased to 18,000 acres, which, actually, was good news.  No more structures were lost, and they have high hopes for today, expecting the weather to work in their favor.  I pray it does, as everyone knows that in Colorado, the weather never does what it is supposed to do.  There are over 1,000 firefighters fighting this fire, even as others work tirelessly around the state to put out the other fires, too.  Some stupid people have been criticizing them, implying that they didn't work hard enough, that they lost hope, that they let places burn.  As if anyone could control the raging beast that is a forest fire, or control the wind that blows wildly through the mountains.  I sort of would like to hit those stupid people, you know.  Thankfully, the firefighters continue to work endlessly, and are committed to their task.  They've been preparing for this day, for this season, their entire careers.  More thankfully, not one injury or loss of life has been reported, not for a firefighter or for any of the 32,000 evacuees.

Facebook blew up with photos of the fire and prayers for a miracle.  I confess that very little have I prayed.  I know God is big enough, powerful enough, to send a miracle, to send a torrential rain despite the weather forecast.  I know that He works things for His Good (Big "G" Good, as my friend says, not our little "g" good), and that He can work and is working through this experience.  I  know these things. 

But that hasn't stopped me from wondering what the purpose is, really.  Even as I type, I wonder.  Part of it is that is as if our city is in a bad movie, so it almost feels as if it might not be real.  Our eyes are glued to the mountains, to the progression of the smoke.  Our TVs have been constantly on, as we listen with half an ear.  Yet we've also had to go to work, to make dinner, to continue life.  Will still needs to eat, be played with, have his diaper changed.  There's this odd feeling of "what are we doing?" covering everything.  My mom said it best yesterday.  Even as we were outside raking pine needles to mitigate their property, a man was washing their windows before company comes next week.  "It feels incongruent that we are simultaneously getting the house ready for company as we are getting it ready to burn down."  The whole experience is weird.

I could go on for a long while trying to explain what this feeling has been like, but I think I'll stop now.  Afterall, life does have to go on.  While we wait to see what today will hold for the fire, for our mountains, our city, our friends, there is still work to do and things to be done.  The city has really pulled together, and will continue to do so, I know.  These things unite us. 

And, while I haven't been on my knees praying as perhaps I should have been, I will cling to the truths that God is God of this City, that He is greater and more powerful than any fire, and that, although I really don't think He wills a fire to destroy things, He can still make Good things come from tragedy.



I have a post ready for Will's 3 Month update, by the way, but I decided to save it and share this, for now.

On Doing it All

This new season of life seems to demand more from me than I have had to give, be, and do before.

To quickly update you, Husband's losing his job (which was something I was surprisingly okay with) has resulted in two things:

One: his decision to go to college to get an electrical engineering degree.  He's really, really excited about this opportunity, and he begins taking classes online and at night in July.  The next four to six years will include a lot of night classes, since most of the courses for this degree are not available online.  We talked at length about how hard that is going to be, since he'll work during the day and then go to class or have homework at night, plus the responsibilities of being a husband and dad.  Since I'll be working full-time, too, it promises to be a little rough.

Two:  he got a job at a local electrical company and started last week.  It is turning out to be a little more than he bargained - they do piece work, which means they get paid per job completed, not by the hour, and Saturdays are expected as well.  He'd worked more than 40 hours in the first four days, and has left by 6 am each day this week.  He's exhausted.  He's also had several things going on in the evenings this week, so we're getting a glimpse of how rarely we're going to get to see each other once he starts classes.

Needless to say, this stresses me out a little bit.  Okay, a lot of a bit.

This brings me back to this season, where I feel a little afraid apprenhensive as I think I feel like I'm "doing it all."  Can any of you working moms relate? 

Once school starts, I'll be back to work full time.  I'll have four in-building Spanish classes, Student Council (a class AND a heck of lot of after school/evening time), and (most likely) an online Spanish class.  I nearly always have some sort of work in the evenings. 

I'll also have a baby to pick up from day care, feed, spend time with, and get ready for bed.  Since finances are tight and we want to be healthy anyway, you can add in preparing dinner for the family and getting my lunch ready for the next day.  I can't stand a messy house, so I'll need to make sure that the house is picked up and somewhat clean.  And I'll want to support Husband in any way that I can, helping him with his school-work however I am able.  He'll help as much as he can, because that was part of the deal when I agreed that he should/could go back to school - but it appears like he'll be gone a lot, and when he's home, he'll be exhausted. 

I'm not really meaning to complain here, nor to freak out about something I'm sure many moms do, but I want to be honest.  I'm a little nervous about how much responsibility I think I'm going to have.  Maybe it won't be as hard as I think it will be, but I think that until now, I've been able to be relatively selfish and focus a lot on my job (which I LOVE).  But my priorities are different now, and I want to do these things the best I can.

God has, however, been working in my heart in a few areas relating to this topic.  I'll tell you about that later, because for now, I'm off to get the baby up from his nap, finish the laundry, and get something to eat for lunch.  I'm thinking vanilla greek yogurt with a nectarine and some almonds mixed in.

Uncertainty and Expectation

Joining in with Gypsy Mama today to take five minutes to write.  The topic?  Expectation.

Ready?

Go.

Expectation.  My first thought?  Is that a real word?  It sounds funny to me, but I think it must be real. 

Husband and I are in a season that is sort of terrifying, sort of amazing, and definitely full of expectation.  He's on his way to a job interview as I write, just pulled out of his parking spot.  He's registered for his first three classes to go to college, to be an electrical engineer, to do something he finds interesting and purposeful with his life. 

Life is full of uncertainty at the moment.  Will he get a job that he likes for the interim?  Will he be able to find a job soon?  Will we be able to continue to afford living in our townhome, or will we have to sell and move to an apartment or in with my family?  Will we be able to manage both of us with full time jobs, him in school, and a new baby, our first?  Will the challenges we'll be facing stretch us too much, or in just the ways we need to be stretched?  Will our marriage be tested in ways we are not prepared for?  So much uncertainty, so many things that could terrify me.

Expectation though, well, expectation is the positive twist to uncertainty.  Even with all these things, there is much to expect.  Much joy, much growth, much life.

Expectation, then, instead of uncertainty.  I'll take it.