Saturday, March 31, 2012


William John C
little Will

Born: Saturday, May 24, 2012 at 10 am
Weight: 6 lbs, 15 ounces
Length: 19 inches

More to come soon.  Can't wait to share Will's Birth Story and the tales of surviving the first week of Mommy-hood.  But right now, I need to hang out with the Peanut, because he's finally here!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Last Day

Today is my last day of work for the school year.  I've made it through to Spring Break (well, almost - I have two more classes to teach and 3 hours of Parent/Teacher Conferneces to sit through), and since our due date is in nine days, I'm done.

It's bittersweet. 

I LOVE my job.  I think I've mentioned before that I'm one of those blessed and apparently rare people that loves what they do almost all of the time.  Teaching high school students, while hard at times, is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done, and will ever do.  I learn so much from them, perhaps more than they do from me, and while yes, there are those ding dongs that are obnoxious, entitled, and idiotic, there are so many of them that are going somewhere good, and give me hope. 

We laugh together, we cry together, we play together, we work together.  We learn together.  We live life together.  My classes are like family, especially this year.

And so, while I eagerly (terrifiedly and nervously and excitedly and joyfully) anticipate what's coming next over the next few weeks, this is hard, and bittersweet.

Have you ever noticed the intentionality of the word bittersweet?

What comes first is bitter, harder to deal with, sad.  But what follows is sweet, joyful, full of goodness.

Leaving these kids is weird.  "Have a good Spring Break.  When we come back - I mean, when you come back - you'll do these things...."  These particular classes are not over forever, like the awkward goodbye after the final exam period at the end of the semester.  They'll continue.... but without me.  It's weird, and it's a little hard.  Bitter.

But next?  Next comes the Peanut.  And after the (again) hard part, I'll have this little boy in my arms that I am sure I am going to love even more than I love my job, dependent on me, loving me without even thinking about it.  And it's amazing.  Sweet.

Bittersweet.  What a good word.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

A Sneak Peek...

Thirteen days until the Peanut's Due Date

Four more days of work
(thank goodness for Spring Break!)

8 hours of Parent/Teacher Conferences

Several more work things to do if possible

As many hours to sleep as I can fit in

A few more things to dust and vacuum

Some quality friend and family time if possible

Many hours spent pondering and praying about motherhood


An unknown amount of time until all my lists become irrelvant
and it simply becomes time to Go.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Outward, Not Inward

First, nope, no Peanut arrival yet.  We're glad about that, as I would really like to work through next week and have a few days of Spring Break to breathe before we begin.  We'll see.

I'm working my way through the New Testament as one of my 30 Before 30 Goals, and I've just started Luke.  (If it's okay to be proud of myself, I am, because never before have I consistently kept reading and progressing for this many months at a time.)  Last week I was finishing up with Mark, which concludes with Jesus' death and resurrection.  It's interesting reading the Gospels, because twice now I've read the "same" stories, from Matthew and from Mark, and am really trying to seek new perspectives.  I know I'll encounter this same need in Luke, too.

My first tendency when I read stories where the disciples "screw up," like when Peter sinks in the water after walking or denies knowing Jesus multiple times out of fear or when they all run away in the garden at His arrest, is to identify myself with them.  Would I have even gotten out of the boat?  In what ways to I deny knowing Him in my life?  What am I so afraid of that I would run away, instead of stay?

Since Thanksgiving Break, when I decided to "Just Do It" and really commit to spending some time intentionally developing my relationship with Him, I've been learning a lot.  You've read some of it.  Glory.  Relationship.  I kept finding out that there was (IS!) more to Him than I knew, and that if I really wanted to love Him, to know Him, I needed to keep pursuing. 

Often, and especially lately, when I've read, my focus has been on what I need to do, how I need to grow, what He might be telling me about me.

As I read the story of His death and resurrection again the other day, though, and started to think the same thoughts about how I would react, it struck me.

Yes, this was FOR me, but it wasn't ABOUT me. 

It's about HIM.

Let me take a moment and tear my self-centered-even-in-the-midst-of-Bible-study focus away from myself and recognize that

It. Isn't. About. Me.

What an amazing man, what an amazing God, what an an amazing Father, to do the things He did, He does, He will do.    I need to spend a little more time pondering and reflecting on that, you know?
Yes, sure, it's good for me to let Him correct me, to teach me, to mold me.  Absolutely.  But it's really about Him.  (And wasn't that what I was learning about Glory, before, anyway?) 

Some friends introduced Husband to this song.  It's the song of our hearts right now.  For him, mostly, I think because there is some hard stuff he's wading through and it speaks right to what he needs to hear.  For me, well. I started out loving the music.  It's all good, but right at about 3:20 when the drums start to intensify I just find myself drawn in.  You really need to listen. Then it's the words about all the things He has already overcome that speak to me. 

And then this morning, as I was listening again on my way to work, I realized.

Yet again, I'm thinking about me. 

Yes, All our troubles, all our tears.  But God of Hope, He has overcome.
Yes, All our failures, all our fears.  But God of Love, He has overcome.
Yes, All our heartache, all our pain.  But God our Healer, He has overcome.
Yes, All our burdens, all our shame.  But God our Freedom, He has overcome.

God of Justice.  God of Praise.  God our Freedom.  He has overcome.
God our Refuge.  God our Strength.  God is with us. He has overcome.

It's about Him.  Look Outward, Beth.  Outward.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Oh, Hello.

Each day this week I've said, "I'll blog today.  I'll do it during/after/when I ____________________."  But each day has found itself full of something.  The times I planned to blog were usurped by other things I needed to do, or in the evening, when I could have blogged, the effort to turn on the computer from my crashed out position on the couch seemed herculean.  As a result, no posts.

But today is Friday, and if you can't procrastinate a little during your planning period on Friday (yes, even if you are going to be leaving for maternity leave soon and have a million things to do), when can you procrastinate?

So, hello.

I have my Decaf Caramel Macchiato in hand (we were all out of coffee at home - I seriously need to do the grocery shopping - we ate out all week, too), and thought I'd share 9 things about life with you on this 9th day of March.

1. We're in the month of our due date (the 31st, so really, it could be March or April.)  Officially, I'll be working for two more weeks as of yesterday.  We don't have school on the 23rd and the following week is Spring Break, so there are exactly 10 more days of work for me, including today.  My feelings on that subject are incredibly diverse - I'm excited, sad, a bit nervous, busy.... and more.

2. Last week was Sadie's Week (our second semester version of Homecoming Week).  We had spirit days, a Peach Fuzz Boys Volleyball Tournament, a huge assembly complete with decorations, a Mr. PC competition, and, of course, the big dance itself.  In all, I spent approximately 25 hours at school AFTER school between Thursday night - Saturday night.  Needless to say, I stayed in bed on Sunday.  But the week was great, my StuCo kids were awesome, and we had a T.O.N. of fun.

3. We just mostly finished decorating our baby room the other night - I'm pretty excited about it.  I'm going to gather the best pictures that document each stage of the process (from scraping the popcorn off the ceiling to hanging the final piece on the wall) and show you in a post soon.  Until then, while you wait, I'll just say this - browns, greens, monkeys... C.U.T.E.

4.  I had two baby showers back-to-back the weekend before last.  Both were very lovely, and Husband, Baby C, and I were completely blessed.  I've spread out some of my favorite pictures from both throughout this post.

5. I am ridiculously excited for tomorrow.  I'm planning on spending some time with my sister as I drag her (I mean, as she comes with me) to get a haircut - I desperately need one as my hair looks good about 1% of the time - and to a few more to get a few more things with the generous gift cards we received.  I think this will be my last "big" shopping trip before Baby C comes.  Anything else will be things I didn't know I needed or incidentals.  I'm also planning on cooking a few things to put in the freezer to make life a little easier (plus, I'm sick of take-out).  And, if all that goes well, I'm going to clean the bathroom.  It's just plain gross. 

6. I may or may not be planning Words with Friends with several people, but, due to the fact that I don't have time to really think about the words I'm playing, losing horribly.  I'm also playing Scramble, but only with random opponents, because I'm so bad at it, I don't want my friends to know.

7. I love my state.  It was warm and sunny for the first few days this week (although I didn't get to really enjoy that as I was inside all day), then cold and windy (and I mean cold) the last two days, and today is back to sunny and the weekend is supposed to be lovely.  I never want to live somewhere where it's always one way or another.  This way you get a little bit of everything whenever you might need it.

8. I'm still obsessed with how freaking cute my dog is.  Seriously, I love her probably a little two much.  We're totally spoiling her right now since we think her little world is going to be rocked in the near future.

9.  I've got some thoughts rolling around in here about some big God stuff, and the things I've been learning, continuing to learn, being beat over the head with, etc.  That's a whole different post worth of things, but the bottom line is, it's pretty amazing seeking relationship and knowing it's a mutual, real, tangible, life-changing thing, not just some mystical band-aid.  More on my heart soon, I hope.

My hope is to be able to blog a little more consistently - it's good for me, as long as I keep myself out of the land of "no one likes me/follows me/comments on my posts" - but since I'm taking each day a a day at a time these days, we'll see.

For now, Happy Friday!
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