Announcing.....

William John C

little Will

Born: Saturday, May 24, 2012 at 10 am

Weight: 6 lbs, 15 ounces

Length: 19 inches

More to come soon.  Can't wait to share Will's Birth Story and the tales of surviving the first week of Mommy-hood.  But right now, I need to hang out with the Peanut, because he's finally here!

Last Day

Today is my last day of work for the school year.  I've made it through to Spring Break (well, almost - I have two more classes to teach and 3 hours of Parent/Teacher Conferneces to sit through), and since our due date is in nine days, I'm done.

It's bittersweet. 

I LOVE my job.  I think I've mentioned before that I'm one of those blessed and apparently rare people that loves what they do almost all of the time.  Teaching high school students, while hard at times, is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done, and will ever do.  I learn so much from them, perhaps more than they do from me, and while yes, there are those ding dongs that are obnoxious, entitled, and idiotic, there are so many of them that are going somewhere good, and give me hope. 

We laugh together, we cry together, we play together, we work together.  We learn together.  We live life together.  My classes are like family, especially this year.

And so, while I eagerly (terrifiedly and nervously and excitedly and joyfully) anticipate what's coming next over the next few weeks, this is hard, and bittersweet.

Have you ever noticed the intentionality of the word bittersweet?

What comes first is bitter, harder to deal with, sad.  But what follows is sweet, joyful, full of goodness.

Leaving these kids is weird.  "Have a good Spring Break.  When we come back - I mean, when you come back - you'll do these things...."  These particular classes are not over forever, like the awkward goodbye after the final exam period at the end of the semester.  They'll continue.... but without me.  It's weird, and it's a little hard.  Bitter.

But next?  Next comes the Peanut.  And after the (again) hard part, I'll have this little boy in my arms that I am sure I am going to love even more than I love my job, dependent on me, loving me without even thinking about it.  And it's amazing.  Sweet.

Bittersweet.  What a good word.

A Sneak Peek...

Thirteen days until the Peanut's Due Date

Four more days of work

(thank goodness for Spring Break!)

8 hours of Parent/Teacher Conferences

Several more work things to do if possible

As many hours to sleep as I can fit in

A few more things to dust and vacuum

Some quality friend and family time if possible

Many hours spent pondering and praying about motherhood

and

An unknown amount of time until all my lists become irrelvant

and it simply becomes time to Go.

Outward, Not Inward

First, nope, no Peanut arrival yet.  We're glad about that, as I would really like to work through next week and have a few days of Spring Break to breathe before we begin.  We'll see.

I'm working my way through the New Testament as one of my 30 Before 30 Goals, and I've just started Luke.  (If it's okay to be proud of myself, I am, because never before have I consistently kept reading and progressing for this many months at a time.)  Last week I was finishing up with Mark, which concludes with Jesus' death and resurrection.  It's interesting reading the Gospels, because twice now I've read the "same" stories, from Matthew and from Mark, and am really trying to seek new perspectives.  I know I'll encounter this same need in Luke, too.

My first tendency when I read stories where the disciples "screw up," like when Peter sinks in the water after walking or denies knowing Jesus multiple times out of fear or when they all run away in the garden at His arrest, is to identify myself with them.  Would I have even gotten out of the boat?  In what ways to I deny knowing Him in my life?  What am I so afraid of that I would run away, instead of stay?

Since Thanksgiving Break, when I decided to "Just Do It" and really commit to spending some time intentionally developing my relationship with Him, I've been learning a lot.  You've read some of it.  Glory.  Relationship.  I kept finding out that there was (IS!) more to Him than I knew, and that if I really wanted to love Him, to know Him, I needed to keep pursuing. 

Often, and especially lately, when I've read, my focus has been on what I need to do, how I need to grow, what He might be telling me about me.

As I read the story of His death and resurrection again the other day, though, and started to think the same thoughts about how I would react, it struck me.

Yes, this was FOR me, but it wasn't ABOUT me. 

It's about HIM.

Let me take a moment and tear my self-centered-even-in-the-midst-of-Bible-study focus away from myself and recognize that

It. Isn't. About. Me.

What an amazing man, what an amazing God, what an an amazing Father, to do the things He did, He does, He will do.    I need to spend a little more time pondering and reflecting on that, you know?
Yes, sure, it's good for me to let Him correct me, to teach me, to mold me.  Absolutely.  But it's really about Him.  (And wasn't that what I was learning about Glory, before, anyway?) 


Some friends introduced Husband to this song.  It's the song of our hearts right now.  For him, mostly, I think because there is some hard stuff he's wading through and it speaks right to what he needs to hear.  For me, well. I started out loving the music.  It's all good, but right at about 3:20 when the drums start to intensify I just find myself drawn in.  You really need to listen. Then it's the words about all the things He has already overcome that speak to me. 



And then this morning, as I was listening again on my way to work, I realized.

Yet again, I'm thinking about me. 

Yes, All our troubles, all our tears.  But God of Hope, He has overcome.
Yes, All our failures, all our fears.  But God of Love, He has overcome.
Yes, All our heartache, all our pain.  But God our Healer, He has overcome.
Yes, All our burdens, all our shame.  But God our Freedom, He has overcome.

God of Justice.  God of Praise.  God our Freedom.  He has overcome.
God our Refuge.  God our Strength.  God is with us. He has overcome.


It's about Him.  Look Outward, Beth.  Outward.

Oh, Hello.

Each day this week I've said, "I'll blog today.  I'll do it during/after/when I ____________________."  But each day has found itself full of something.  The times I planned to blog were usurped by other things I needed to do, or in the evening, when I could have blogged, the effort to turn on the computer from my crashed out position on the couch seemed herculean.  As a result, no posts.

But today is Friday, and if you can't procrastinate a little during your planning period on Friday (yes, even if you are going to be leaving for maternity leave soon and have a million things to do), when can you procrastinate?

So, hello.

I have my Decaf Caramel Macchiato in hand (we were all out of coffee at home - I seriously need to do the grocery shopping - we ate out all week, too), and thought I'd share 9 things about life with you on this 9th day of March.

1. We're in the month of our due date (the 31st, so really, it could be March or April.)  Officially, I'll be working for two more weeks as of yesterday.  We don't have school on the 23rd and the following week is Spring Break, so there are exactly 10 more days of work for me, including today.  My feelings on that subject are incredibly diverse - I'm excited, sad, a bit nervous, busy.... and more.

2. Last week was Sadie's Week (our second semester version of Homecoming Week).  We had spirit days, a Peach Fuzz Boys Volleyball Tournament, a huge assembly complete with decorations, a Mr. PC competition, and, of course, the big dance itself.  In all, I spent approximately 25 hours at school AFTER school between Thursday night - Saturday night.  Needless to say, I stayed in bed on Sunday.  But the week was great, my StuCo kids were awesome, and we had a T.O.N. of fun.

3. We just mostly finished decorating our baby room the other night - I'm pretty excited about it.  I'm going to gather the best pictures that document each stage of the process (from scraping the popcorn off the ceiling to hanging the final piece on the wall) and show you in a post soon.  Until then, while you wait, I'll just say this - browns, greens, monkeys... C.U.T.E.

4.  I had two baby showers back-to-back the weekend before last.  Both were very lovely, and Husband, Baby C, and I were completely blessed.  I've spread out some of my favorite pictures from both throughout this post.

5. I am ridiculously excited for tomorrow.  I'm planning on spending some time with my sister as I drag her (I mean, as she comes with me) to get a haircut - I desperately need one as my hair looks good about 1% of the time - and to a few more to get a few more things with the generous gift cards we received.  I think this will be my last "big" shopping trip before Baby C comes.  Anything else will be things I didn't know I needed or incidentals.  I'm also planning on cooking a few things to put in the freezer to make life a little easier (plus, I'm sick of take-out).  And, if all that goes well, I'm going to clean the bathroom.  It's just plain gross. 

6. I may or may not be planning Words with Friends with several people, but, due to the fact that I don't have time to really think about the words I'm playing, losing horribly.  I'm also playing Scramble, but only with random opponents, because I'm so bad at it, I don't want my friends to know.

7. I love my state.  It was warm and sunny for the first few days this week (although I didn't get to really enjoy that as I was inside all day), then cold and windy (and I mean cold) the last two days, and today is back to sunny and the weekend is supposed to be lovely.  I never want to live somewhere where it's always one way or another.  This way you get a little bit of everything whenever you might need it.

8. I'm still obsessed with how freaking cute my dog is.  Seriously, I love her probably a little two much.  We're totally spoiling her right now since we think her little world is going to be rocked in the near future.

9.  I've got some thoughts rolling around in here about some big God stuff, and the things I've been learning, continuing to learn, being beat over the head with, etc.  That's a whole different post worth of things, but the bottom line is, it's pretty amazing seeking relationship and knowing it's a mutual, real, tangible, life-changing thing, not just some mystical band-aid.  More on my heart soon, I hope.


My hope is to be able to blog a little more consistently - it's good for me, as long as I keep myself out of the land of "no one likes me/follows me/comments on my posts" - but since I'm taking each day a a day at a time these days, we'll see.

For now, Happy Friday!

Grit, Growing, and Waiting...oh, and Coffee and 35 Weeks

Linking up with two different groups today, but attempting to combine my post into one, sort-of unified thought process.  We'll see how it goes.  I can't be held responsible for what comes out, okay? 
Today's 5 Minute Friday prompt?  Grit.  I am going to do my darndest (that should be a word if it isn't) to keep my writing to 5 minutes, because today's class schedule is a mess due to an unexpected snow day yesterday (lovely, by the way, I got caught up on almost all of my grading), and so my first class is starting much sooner than expected.

I titled this post Grit, Growing, and Waiting.  Because right now, at 35 weeks pregnant, I'm gritting my teeth and plowing into the things I need to do, growing a lot (pun most definitely intended), and waiting for the next stage of this experience.

Grit.  We're coming up just over a month until our due date, and less than a month until my last day of work. That month is full, though.  There are a bunch of things that have to get done for work, and I'm not being a control freak, I promise.  I need to just grit my teeth through the tired and do them.  This should be no problem, I'm independent and strong and stubborn, but it's overwhelming at times.  It's gritty to know that I'm about to embark on something I'm not going to do perfectly.  There are things I do need to let go of, like having my house be as clean as I want it to be before he comes, which means there is going to be a lot more grit than I'd like. 

Growing.  There's a lot of growth going on here, related to that grit.  Obviously my belly is still growing expansively, as people love to comment, and that's gritty for me.  I've had some body image issues in my life, and while I realize this is different, it's still hard.  I don't recognize myself at all, and I don't always like it.  But there's more growth due to the grit going on here, too.  I'm learning more and more about God, about family, about priorities, because as I pursue Relationship with Him, He's calling me to realize new, and sometimes hard to do, things.

Waiting.  Growth is often accompanied by waiting, don't you think?  There's a wait-time for the things you're pondering to sink in, truly.  There's a wait-time for you to really start to practice things, and much of the time, a lot of practice is required before we even get close to doing things well.  And of course, despite all the things on my "to-do before baby" list, I'm waiting.  Waiting for it to be done and my little boy to be here.  Waiting to see what it's really going to be like, to see if I can do labor naturally, to see his face and the color of his eyes, to take him home to a hopefully finished nursery, to be a mom.  Waiting.  And waiting, well, it's gritty sometimes.  And it grows me.  And so we're back again.

That was my 5 minutes.  I think I did okay, don't you?

 I do, just for fun, want to add in a quick pregnancy update as I sip on my coffee (yes, mostly it's decaf), but I wanted to be honest and not count it in my 5 minutes.

Pregnancy Update

How Far Along: Nearly 35 Weeks.  Baby Center tells me I'm there on Mondays, but our due date is officially 5 weeks away from tomorrow.  I keep thinking this feels really close, but my doctor keeps saying "in the last month we'll....such and such," so apparently 36+ weeks is when we will have "arrived" at the close stage.

Size of Baby:  According to my belly, HUGE!  But really, about the weight of a honeydew (between 5 and a half pounds) and 18 inches long.  We haven't had an ultrasound for a long time, and I don't know if we will, so we may just find out officially on his birthday.

Maternity Clothes: Yes, and I am back to hating the idea.  I'm tired of them, but I don't want to spend more money since it's only a month more.  I was just looking at pictures of me when I first started to wear them, and really, it's astounding how much my belly has grown.  I'm huge, people.  Huge.  See for yourself (and yes, I know, it's only baby weight, I haven't gained too much elsewhere, but still.  Huge).

Gender: Boy!  At least, that's what we're going with.  Recently I've got it into my head that maybe the ultrasound tech was wrong, and he's a she, but I'm trying to not think about it.  We just spent a week with my cousin's boys (4 and 1), and I'm really starting to get it, this boy thing, and be excited.

Movement: Still lots, but it's uncomfortable sometimes as I feel like he's pushing my insides apart.  The other day he really punched me in class and I was like, "oh!" which concerned my students, of course.  They were in awe then, because they could see my belly moving from where they were sitting.  I like it, but sometimes I think he should be nicer to me.

Sleep:  Depends.  Last night was rough, but the last hour this morning was awesome.  It's hard to be comfortable at this point, so of course it's difficult to sleep.  But I'm getting enough to be functional, and I'm still ignoring the people who tell me it's practice for the rest of my life when I won't apparently sleep again.

What I Miss: As mentioned above, my body. I don't know who this person is sometimes.  Sometimes I feel cute and pretty, other times I feel yucky and unattractive.  Being able to tie my sneakers comfortably.  Being able to bend over comfortably.  Being able to sit comfortably.  Ha, I'm such a whiner.  It's not that bad.

Cravings: Grapefruit is my new favorite thing.  But besides that, I'll still take my salty food whenever.

Symptoms: Is feeling ready to do this thing a symptom?  If so, I have it.  Otherwise it's normal stuff, I think.  On the whole, despite the uncomfortable thing, I'd say I'm doing great.  A funny story: there was a question on a Spanish test I gave last week that asked, "What is probably that Mrs. C will do in class?"  Most kids responded with things like, "It's probably she'll give us homework or candy or play games" and things like that.  One student's response?  "It's probable that she'll go to the bathroom during class."  Oh, so sad, so hilarious, so true.

Words: Of Wisdom? To take each day as it comes.  Of Ridiculousness?  "Wow, you've gotten even bigger in the last week!"  "Wait, you're pregnant?" 

Best Moment of the Week: I suspect it will actually be tonight and tomorrow, when I have two baby showers and small group, so I'll have lots of time for some good connecting with friends - I've been feeling a little out of it as I've had a lot going on - and we'll get some hopefully fun and hopefully useful things for the Peanut!

What I'm Looking Forward To: Putting the nursery stuff and all Baby C's things away in his room and getting it all ready.  Holding my son.  Yeah, I'm pretty excited about that.  What else can compare to the fact that that is coming?

And here are my students, so it's time for me to get off the blog and do my job. Happy Friday!

What a Monday "Off" Looked Like for Me

In the last two months, we've had two Monday's off - first for Martin Luther King, Jr. Day in January, and then yesterday for President's Day.  Public school is, of course, closed.  Both of these Monday's off have been a nice change of pace for me, although I wouldn't actually call them days off, because I still did quite a bit. 

Last month, for MLK Day, I pretty much spent the entire day cleaning and organizing.  I needed to move things out of the nursery's closet and into the office's closet, as well as do some serious organizing and sorting in the office.  I had hoped to get to the storage closets in the basement, too, but I just didn't make it.  I'm pretty sure I also had breakfast or lunch with either my mom or my sister, but I just can't remember at this point.  I felt pretty productive and, although I wanted to do more, was proud of what I'd accomplished. 

The newly "organized" office closet - three quarters of those clothes and all the shoes had been in the other closet before (yes, we were using three closets for our clothes).  I got rid of tons of shoes and clothes we don't wear anymore.  This closet also doubles as our "linen" closet, as we don't have one, so in those bags up top are comforters, etc., and in the bins below, sheets and towels.  It's actually much more organized than it looks.



The leftover stuff to do in the office - a trash bag to take out, some bins for Husband to take down to the other storage closets, and some now-empty bins thanks to some serious purging of crap we didn't need anymore.



The stuff for Goodwill.  A TV, printer, bags of clothes and knicknacks and other such stuff that we'd pack-ratted over the last several years.

The trash - things that were broken (including a leaky air mattress), yucky, or un-usable.



Yesterday, also, was not a typical "day off," at least in my opinion.

I did get to sleep in.  You know, until 7 am.  That's the lastest I've slept in a while, actually, so I was proud.  I drank coffee in bed (that was lovely) before heading into the shower.

At 8:15, I was out the door and headed to school.  Yes, to school, yes, on a day when school was closed.  I met several of my StuCo kids who wanted to get a head start on making decorations for our big Sadie's Dance that's coming up soon.  We were there until about 12:30.  Normally I help with the work, but something about sitting on the floor and painting didn't seem appealing to me this time, so I encouraged, advised, and did some grading.

Hard at work!  More to come soon on Sadie's Week, which is next week!

I then headed over to my mom and dad's house, to hang out with the family in town.  We ended up not quite having the afternoon we expected.  Trips to the pharmacy took Sister and Meg away, the kiddos took naps, and Dad was out getting Grandpa to bring him over to hang out.  So I used that time to grade some more tests.  At least I got them all done!  Everyone got home around the same time, and that's when things really started to get interesting.  Poor Grandpa (who is 96 years old) ended up being sick - let's just say it resulted in him needing a shower and Mom cleaning the Powder Room bathroom ... three times.  Walls, door, everywhere.  It was awful.  That pretty much sent us into a tizzy for a while, trying to figure out if he was sick, to take care of him, to help Mom (who, by the way, is the absolute best).  Finally it was taken care of, Dad took him back home to assisted living (where he's just moved recently), and my uncle and sister went to pick us up take-out Olive Garden.  We had a lovely dinner at that point, truly, but the whole afternoon and experience was a bit crazy and surreal.

I did remember to take a couple of quick shots of the cousins - they are so cute - before I left, and thanked my cousin Meg for bringing them here now, as the timing let me see how fun and adorable little boys can be, having grown up with all girls pretty much.  It was so fun to hang out with them.

I'm not sure why this came out blurry, but it did.  Alex, age 4 and a half, Sister, and Husband were all cuddled onto the couch watching WordWorld.  We watched a few episodes this week - it's cute - and Alex loves it!  When we left last night, Alex made sure to give Husband and I hugs AND kisses and was very adament that we see each other again soon.

This little man, Gabe, is 18 months, and oh-my-goodness the cutest thing ever.  So friendly, so sweet, so baby-talk talkative, and with THE best smile ever. 

Husband and I had to leave after dinner to head to our last birth class at the hospital before we go for real, so we said our goodbyes (they leave today) and got our hugs and kisses. 

At birth class, we reviewed about types of medications and made a pro-con list for epidurals (what a hot topic!).  We practiced some different labor positions and breathing (a little awkward with people that are strangers, even though we were in class together for a month - I laughed a lot).  We practiced different types of breathing for pushing, but, as the nurse said, did NOT push at all as we wanted no babies born there last night.  At the end, she asked if there were any more questions, so I of course, was myself.

Me: Yeah, I have one.  Can we skip the labor and delivery part and just get straight to the baby?" 

Nurse: Um... No.

Well, it was worth a shot. :)

After doing our evaluation of the class, we headed home, tidied up the house, and got ready for bed.

Pretty sure I was alseep by 10.  Another great Monday off, even if it wasn't really off.

Probably the best part about a Monday off, I think, is the fact that it makes Tuesday feel like Monday, but it's really Tuesday, so you're a whole day ahead of where you think you are.  Which makes Friday come all the more quickly.  Lovely.