Every other Friday night, Husband and I get together with some of the coolest people from our church to have small group.
It's been interesting for me- I have had issues about whether or not I actualy feel connected and if I truly have a place to belong. I've often felt cared about, but still felt as if something were missing. Most likely it was me being issue-full, but it's how I felt.
The last few months, though, things have started to change, and I've either begun to get over myself or the group dynamic has changed.... or most likely, a bit of both. We've finished telling our personal stories and have now moved into a time of sharing what God is doing in our lives.
This past Friday my beautiful and sassy and hilarious and insanely deep friend Carly got us all thinking about how we receive God. We had this visual of God throwing footballs at us and us being totally non-receptive and the footballs just bouncing off of us, whether it be because we weren't looking or we had a "shield" of pride or insecurity or who knows what. And we got into talking about what "posture" we need to have to really receive God. Our task is to come back in two weeks and hopefully have thought about what that personally means for us.
How do I, then, receive God? What are the reasons I'm not catching the footballs? What would my "posture" of receiving look like?
I don't know quite yet, but I'll be thinking about it.
That same night, my friend Dawn and I were talking about the b-word. You know, busy. It's kind of a ridiculous word, because we're always busy.... but right now, it's like we're super ultra crazy busy. She even wrote a post about it, which you can read here.
I've been thinking about the b-word and the receiving-word in conjunction with each other. Let's face facts. I'm always busy. Some times I'm beyond busy and can barely sleep, let alone blog (like the last two weeks), but most of the time, I'm just regular busy, and I blog when I'm procrastinating from doing something else I should be doing. My life is go-g0-g0, and I don't think it's going to change any time soon- I'm just a busy person. I may never be a woman able to find several hours at one time to sit and listen to God.... but that doesn't mean I can't be in a posture to receive him.
In fact, it means that it is imperative that, whatever it looks like, I do take time to be receiving. The only way to have any purpose in my life, in the midst of the busyness, is to receive.
Still working on what this looks like, but know I'm on the right track.