Today's 5 Minute Friday prompt? Grit. I am going to do my darndest (that should be a word if it isn't) to keep my writing to 5 minutes, because today's class schedule is a mess due to an unexpected snow day yesterday (lovely, by the way, I got caught up on almost all of my grading), and so my first class is starting much sooner than expected.
I titled this post Grit, Growing, and Waiting. Because right now, at 35 weeks pregnant, I'm gritting my teeth and plowing into the things I need to do, growing a lot (pun most definitely intended), and waiting for the next stage of this experience.
Grit. We're coming up just over a month until our due date, and less than a month until my last day of work. That month is full, though. There are a bunch of things that have to get done for work, and I'm not being a control freak, I promise. I need to just grit my teeth through the tired and do them. This should be no problem, I'm independent and strong and stubborn, but it's overwhelming at times. It's gritty to know that I'm about to embark on something I'm not going to do perfectly. There are things I do need to let go of, like having my house be as clean as I want it to be before he comes, which means there is going to be a lot more grit than I'd like.
Growing. There's a lot of growth going on here, related to that grit. Obviously my belly is still growing expansively, as people love to comment, and that's gritty for me. I've had some body image issues in my life, and while I realize this is different, it's still hard. I don't recognize myself at all, and I don't always like it. But there's more growth due to the grit going on here, too. I'm learning more and more about God, about family, about priorities, because as I pursue Relationship with Him, He's calling me to realize new, and sometimes hard to do, things.
Waiting. Growth is often accompanied by waiting, don't you think? There's a wait-time for the things you're pondering to sink in, truly. There's a wait-time for you to really start to practice things, and much of the time, a lot of practice is required before we even get close to doing things well. And of course, despite all the things on my "to-do before baby" list, I'm waiting. Waiting for it to be done and my little boy to be here. Waiting to see what it's really going to be like, to see if I can do labor naturally, to see his face and the color of his eyes, to take him home to a hopefully finished nursery, to be a mom. Waiting. And waiting, well, it's gritty sometimes. And it grows me. And so we're back again.
That was my 5 minutes. I think I did okay, don't you?
I do, just for fun, want to add in a quick pregnancy update as I sip on my coffee (yes, mostly it's decaf), but I wanted to be honest and not count it in my 5 minutes.
Size of Baby: According to my belly, HUGE! But really, about the weight of a honeydew (between 5 and a half pounds) and 18 inches long. We haven't had an ultrasound for a long time, and I don't know if we will, so we may just find out officially on his birthday.
Maternity Clothes: Yes, and I am back to hating the idea. I'm tired of them, but I don't want to spend more money since it's only a month more. I was just looking at pictures of me when I first started to wear them, and really, it's astounding how much my belly has grown. I'm huge, people. Huge. See for yourself (and yes, I know, it's only baby weight, I haven't gained too much elsewhere, but still. Huge).
Gender: Boy! At least, that's what we're going with. Recently I've got it into my head that maybe the ultrasound tech was wrong, and he's a she, but I'm trying to not think about it. We just spent a week with my cousin's boys (4 and 1), and I'm really starting to get it, this boy thing, and be excited.
Movement: Still lots, but it's uncomfortable sometimes as I feel like he's pushing my insides apart. The other day he really punched me in class and I was like, "oh!" which concerned my students, of course. They were in awe then, because they could see my belly moving from where they were sitting. I like it, but sometimes I think he should be nicer to me.
Sleep: Depends. Last night was rough, but the last hour this morning was awesome. It's hard to be comfortable at this point, so of course it's difficult to sleep. But I'm getting enough to be functional, and I'm still ignoring the people who tell me it's practice for the rest of my life when I won't apparently sleep again.
What I Miss: As mentioned above, my body. I don't know who this person is sometimes. Sometimes I feel cute and pretty, other times I feel yucky and unattractive. Being able to tie my sneakers comfortably. Being able to bend over comfortably. Being able to sit comfortably. Ha, I'm such a whiner. It's not that bad.
Cravings: Grapefruit is my new favorite thing. But besides that, I'll still take my salty food whenever.
Symptoms: Is feeling ready to do this thing a symptom? If so, I have it. Otherwise it's normal stuff, I think. On the whole, despite the uncomfortable thing, I'd say I'm doing great. A funny story: there was a question on a Spanish test I gave last week that asked, "What is probably that Mrs. C will do in class?" Most kids responded with things like, "It's probably she'll give us homework or candy or play games" and things like that. One student's response? "It's probable that she'll go to the bathroom during class." Oh, so sad, so hilarious, so true.
Words: Of Wisdom? To take each day as it comes. Of Ridiculousness? "Wow, you've gotten even bigger in the last week!" "Wait, you're pregnant?"
Best Moment of the Week: I suspect it will actually be tonight and tomorrow, when I have two baby showers and small group, so I'll have lots of time for some good connecting with friends - I've been feeling a little out of it as I've had a lot going on - and we'll get some hopefully fun and hopefully useful things for the Peanut!
What I'm Looking Forward To: Putting the nursery stuff and all Baby C's things away in his room and getting it all ready. Holding my son. Yeah, I'm pretty excited about that. What else can compare to the fact that that is coming?
And here are my students, so it's time for me to get off the blog and do my job. Happy Friday!