Friday, February 24, 2012

Grit, Growing, and Waiting...oh, and Coffee and 35 Weeks

Linking up with two different groups today, but attempting to combine my post into one, sort-of unified thought process.  We'll see how it goes.  I can't be held responsible for what comes out, okay? 
Today's 5 Minute Friday prompt?  Grit.  I am going to do my darndest (that should be a word if it isn't) to keep my writing to 5 minutes, because today's class schedule is a mess due to an unexpected snow day yesterday (lovely, by the way, I got caught up on almost all of my grading), and so my first class is starting much sooner than expected.

I titled this post Grit, Growing, and Waiting.  Because right now, at 35 weeks pregnant, I'm gritting my teeth and plowing into the things I need to do, growing a lot (pun most definitely intended), and waiting for the next stage of this experience.

Grit.  We're coming up just over a month until our due date, and less than a month until my last day of work. That month is full, though.  There are a bunch of things that have to get done for work, and I'm not being a control freak, I promise.  I need to just grit my teeth through the tired and do them.  This should be no problem, I'm independent and strong and stubborn, but it's overwhelming at times.  It's gritty to know that I'm about to embark on something I'm not going to do perfectly.  There are things I do need to let go of, like having my house be as clean as I want it to be before he comes, which means there is going to be a lot more grit than I'd like. 

Growing.  There's a lot of growth going on here, related to that grit.  Obviously my belly is still growing expansively, as people love to comment, and that's gritty for me.  I've had some body image issues in my life, and while I realize this is different, it's still hard.  I don't recognize myself at all, and I don't always like it.  But there's more growth due to the grit going on here, too.  I'm learning more and more about God, about family, about priorities, because as I pursue Relationship with Him, He's calling me to realize new, and sometimes hard to do, things.

Waiting.  Growth is often accompanied by waiting, don't you think?  There's a wait-time for the things you're pondering to sink in, truly.  There's a wait-time for you to really start to practice things, and much of the time, a lot of practice is required before we even get close to doing things well.  And of course, despite all the things on my "to-do before baby" list, I'm waiting.  Waiting for it to be done and my little boy to be here.  Waiting to see what it's really going to be like, to see if I can do labor naturally, to see his face and the color of his eyes, to take him home to a hopefully finished nursery, to be a mom.  Waiting.  And waiting, well, it's gritty sometimes.  And it grows me.  And so we're back again.

That was my 5 minutes.  I think I did okay, don't you?

 I do, just for fun, want to add in a quick pregnancy update as I sip on my coffee (yes, mostly it's decaf), but I wanted to be honest and not count it in my 5 minutes.

Pregnancy Update
How Far Along: Nearly 35 Weeks.  Baby Center tells me I'm there on Mondays, but our due date is officially 5 weeks away from tomorrow.  I keep thinking this feels really close, but my doctor keeps saying "in the last month we'll....such and such," so apparently 36+ weeks is when we will have "arrived" at the close stage.

Size of Baby:  According to my belly, HUGE!  But really, about the weight of a honeydew (between 5 and a half pounds) and 18 inches long.  We haven't had an ultrasound for a long time, and I don't know if we will, so we may just find out officially on his birthday.

Maternity Clothes: Yes, and I am back to hating the idea.  I'm tired of them, but I don't want to spend more money since it's only a month more.  I was just looking at pictures of me when I first started to wear them, and really, it's astounding how much my belly has grown.  I'm huge, people.  Huge.  See for yourself (and yes, I know, it's only baby weight, I haven't gained too much elsewhere, but still.  Huge).

Gender: Boy!  At least, that's what we're going with.  Recently I've got it into my head that maybe the ultrasound tech was wrong, and he's a she, but I'm trying to not think about it.  We just spent a week with my cousin's boys (4 and 1), and I'm really starting to get it, this boy thing, and be excited.

Movement: Still lots, but it's uncomfortable sometimes as I feel like he's pushing my insides apart.  The other day he really punched me in class and I was like, "oh!" which concerned my students, of course.  They were in awe then, because they could see my belly moving from where they were sitting.  I like it, but sometimes I think he should be nicer to me.

Sleep:  Depends.  Last night was rough, but the last hour this morning was awesome.  It's hard to be comfortable at this point, so of course it's difficult to sleep.  But I'm getting enough to be functional, and I'm still ignoring the people who tell me it's practice for the rest of my life when I won't apparently sleep again.

What I Miss: As mentioned above, my body. I don't know who this person is sometimes.  Sometimes I feel cute and pretty, other times I feel yucky and unattractive.  Being able to tie my sneakers comfortably.  Being able to bend over comfortably.  Being able to sit comfortably.  Ha, I'm such a whiner.  It's not that bad.

Cravings: Grapefruit is my new favorite thing.  But besides that, I'll still take my salty food whenever.

Symptoms: Is feeling ready to do this thing a symptom?  If so, I have it.  Otherwise it's normal stuff, I think.  On the whole, despite the uncomfortable thing, I'd say I'm doing great.  A funny story: there was a question on a Spanish test I gave last week that asked, "What is probably that Mrs. C will do in class?"  Most kids responded with things like, "It's probably she'll give us homework or candy or play games" and things like that.  One student's response?  "It's probable that she'll go to the bathroom during class."  Oh, so sad, so hilarious, so true.

Words: Of Wisdom? To take each day as it comes.  Of Ridiculousness?  "Wow, you've gotten even bigger in the last week!"  "Wait, you're pregnant?" 

Best Moment of the Week: I suspect it will actually be tonight and tomorrow, when I have two baby showers and small group, so I'll have lots of time for some good connecting with friends - I've been feeling a little out of it as I've had a lot going on - and we'll get some hopefully fun and hopefully useful things for the Peanut!

What I'm Looking Forward To: Putting the nursery stuff and all Baby C's things away in his room and getting it all ready.  Holding my son.  Yeah, I'm pretty excited about that.  What else can compare to the fact that that is coming?

And here are my students, so it's time for me to get off the blog and do my job. Happy Friday!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

What a Monday "Off" Looked Like for Me

In the last two months, we've had two Monday's off - first for Martin Luther King, Jr. Day in January, and then yesterday for President's Day.  Public school is, of course, closed.  Both of these Monday's off have been a nice change of pace for me, although I wouldn't actually call them days off, because I still did quite a bit. 

Last month, for MLK Day, I pretty much spent the entire day cleaning and organizing.  I needed to move things out of the nursery's closet and into the office's closet, as well as do some serious organizing and sorting in the office.  I had hoped to get to the storage closets in the basement, too, but I just didn't make it.  I'm pretty sure I also had breakfast or lunch with either my mom or my sister, but I just can't remember at this point.  I felt pretty productive and, although I wanted to do more, was proud of what I'd accomplished. 

The newly "organized" office closet - three quarters of those clothes and all the shoes had been in the other closet before (yes, we were using three closets for our clothes).  I got rid of tons of shoes and clothes we don't wear anymore.  This closet also doubles as our "linen" closet, as we don't have one, so in those bags up top are comforters, etc., and in the bins below, sheets and towels.  It's actually much more organized than it looks.

The leftover stuff to do in the office - a trash bag to take out, some bins for Husband to take down to the other storage closets, and some now-empty bins thanks to some serious purging of crap we didn't need anymore.

The stuff for Goodwill.  A TV, printer, bags of clothes and knicknacks and other such stuff that we'd pack-ratted over the last several years.

The trash - things that were broken (including a leaky air mattress), yucky, or un-usable.

Yesterday, also, was not a typical "day off," at least in my opinion.

I did get to sleep in.  You know, until 7 am.  That's the lastest I've slept in a while, actually, so I was proud.  I drank coffee in bed (that was lovely) before heading into the shower.

At 8:15, I was out the door and headed to school.  Yes, to school, yes, on a day when school was closed.  I met several of my StuCo kids who wanted to get a head start on making decorations for our big Sadie's Dance that's coming up soon.  We were there until about 12:30.  Normally I help with the work, but something about sitting on the floor and painting didn't seem appealing to me this time, so I encouraged, advised, and did some grading.

Hard at work!  More to come soon on Sadie's Week, which is next week!

I then headed over to my mom and dad's house, to hang out with the family in town.  We ended up not quite having the afternoon we expected.  Trips to the pharmacy took Sister and Meg away, the kiddos took naps, and Dad was out getting Grandpa to bring him over to hang out.  So I used that time to grade some more tests.  At least I got them all done!  Everyone got home around the same time, and that's when things really started to get interesting.  Poor Grandpa (who is 96 years old) ended up being sick - let's just say it resulted in him needing a shower and Mom cleaning the Powder Room bathroom ... three times.  Walls, door, everywhere.  It was awful.  That pretty much sent us into a tizzy for a while, trying to figure out if he was sick, to take care of him, to help Mom (who, by the way, is the absolute best).  Finally it was taken care of, Dad took him back home to assisted living (where he's just moved recently), and my uncle and sister went to pick us up take-out Olive Garden.  We had a lovely dinner at that point, truly, but the whole afternoon and experience was a bit crazy and surreal.

I did remember to take a couple of quick shots of the cousins - they are so cute - before I left, and thanked my cousin Meg for bringing them here now, as the timing let me see how fun and adorable little boys can be, having grown up with all girls pretty much.  It was so fun to hang out with them.

I'm not sure why this came out blurry, but it did.  Alex, age 4 and a half, Sister, and Husband were all cuddled onto the couch watching WordWorld.  We watched a few episodes this week - it's cute - and Alex loves it!  When we left last night, Alex made sure to give Husband and I hugs AND kisses and was very adament that we see each other again soon.

This little man, Gabe, is 18 months, and oh-my-goodness the cutest thing ever.  So friendly, so sweet, so baby-talk talkative, and with THE best smile ever. 

Husband and I had to leave after dinner to head to our last birth class at the hospital before we go for real, so we said our goodbyes (they leave today) and got our hugs and kisses. 

At birth class, we reviewed about types of medications and made a pro-con list for epidurals (what a hot topic!).  We practiced some different labor positions and breathing (a little awkward with people that are strangers, even though we were in class together for a month - I laughed a lot).  We practiced different types of breathing for pushing, but, as the nurse said, did NOT push at all as we wanted no babies born there last night.  At the end, she asked if there were any more questions, so I of course, was myself.

Me: Yeah, I have one.  Can we skip the labor and delivery part and just get straight to the baby?" 
Nurse: Um... No.

Well, it was worth a shot. :)

After doing our evaluation of the class, we headed home, tidied up the house, and got ready for bed.

Pretty sure I was alseep by 10.  Another great Monday off, even if it wasn't really off.

Probably the best part about a Monday off, I think, is the fact that it makes Tuesday feel like Monday, but it's really Tuesday, so you're a whole day ahead of where you think you are.  Which makes Friday come all the more quickly.  Lovely.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Conversing With a Munchkin

Growing up, our family vacations were spent going to my mom's sister's house and spending time with their family and our grandparents.  We were Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Mary, "Um" Blair, cousin Meg(gie), 6 years older than I am, cousin Caroline (Linie), exactly 5 months otlder than I, me (Bethie), and Sister 6 years younger than Caroline and I.  As we got older, we started to learn that our affinity for each other, our actual like of each other and the friendships we had, were not as normal as we would have thought.  I've already mentioned that Caroline has always been one of my best friends, and continues to be one.  We are even having our first babies together - in Decemeber she had her first son, Henry, just about 3 months before Baby C comes home with us. We all love that, after a family full of girls, we're bringing in the boy generation - Meg has two boys, Caroline has one, and I'm about to have to one.  Anyway, the point is that this family are my people, my favorites, my family, my friends.

My aunt, uncle, cousin Meg, and her two boys, Alex (who is either 4 1/2 or 5 1/2, I'm being forgetful right now) and Gabe (about 18 months) are here visiting for a week.  I wish I had pictures of Alex and Gabe - they are SO freaking cute - to show you.  I'll have to get some today or tomorrow and put them up.  Blond, blue eyed, big huge smiles, all absolutely adorable.  The timing of their visit is perfect, as I still haven't quite wrapped my head around having a boy, and seeing them helps me "get it" and be excited.

Last night I was sitting on the couch with Alex reading about dinosaurs together, when he reached over and patted my belly.    Below you'll find our conversation.

Alex: Do you have a baby in there? (He's got the sweetest little voice and is oh-so-smart.)

Me: Yes, I do.  Do you remember when Gabe was in your mommy's belly or when Henry was in Caroline's belly?

Alex: Mmhmm.  (thinks) What's he doing?

Me: Umm... right now I think he might be sleeping.

Alex: Oh.  Well, what else does he do?

Me: Sometimes he moves around and rolls over.

Alex: Why does he do that?

Me: Probably because he's uncomfortable or wants to be in a different place, just like how you somtimes move around to get more comfy.

Alex: Oh.  What else?

Me: I think he does Karate.

Alex: What's Karate?

Me: Umm... when you go like this. (demonstration).  I think he plays soccer, too.

Alex: (nods in understanding.)  Your tummy is really big.

Me:  (laughing, as is everyone else at this point) Yes, yes it's pretty big.

Alex: (thinks for a moment): Is it the biggest belly in the entire world?

Me: (dying at this point, but trying not to show it): Well, probably.  It's probably the biggest belly in the world.  (Uncle Blair in the background chimed in to say no it wasn't.)

And then we were back to reading about dinosaurs and deciding which ones we were.

Absolutely my favorite conversation about pregnancy so far.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Love Day

I choose to celebrate Valentine's Day, not because I buy into (emotionally or financially) the commercialized "must show my Husband how much I love him one day a year" mentality, but because it is a day that celebrates love.

You know, LOVE.

Agape. Philia. Storge. Eros. Agape, selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love. Philia, close friendship or brotherly love. Storge, family love, the bond among fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers. Eros, physical sensual love between a man and his wife. (I confess, I had never heard the word "storge" before, but I'm liking it.) LOVE.

And I'm of the opinion that love is worth celebrating, worth cherishing, worth taking time to remember. That, if we are truly living, we'll love, from the very center of our being. Love is a verb, a noun, an action, a thing, a feeling, a doing. It encompasses all.

Now, I'm not into commercial Valentine's Day. Husband and I bought each other cards and wrote a heart-message to each other. Sister and I bought each other a little gift, a tradition we've had forever. Sometimes Husband and I go out to dinner or cook together, but today our family is coming in from out of town for a week, so we'll go see them instead. I'm not upset about not having a grand overture of love displayed. I don't need a dozen roses or a huge box of chocolates or a fancy dinner.

I just want to celebrate LOVE.

I love my husband.

3 and a half years of marriage, 6 + years of being together, and I love him and maybe more importantly, respect my husband more than I did even last year. I love growing with him, learning with him, being with him. I've shared with you recently some reasons I'm thankful for him and some things the Lord has been teaching me about him and things we've been going through. I've shared how he, Baby C, and the dog are my family now, how I just want to spend time with them. 7 years ago, when I first met Husband, I would never have dreamed that I would be married to him, having a family with him, loving him. But he's my man, and I am so glad I allowed God to work with my heart, and that Husband and I continue to do so as we grow together. LOVE.

I love my family.

My little man, who I haven't met yet, but will soon. I am terrified at how much I think I might end up loving him, but excited all the same. I love my sister, my best friend. She's always there, always ready to laugh, cry, be serious, be silly. I love my parents, who have supported me year after year, put up with a lot and done so with grace and love, and who are now among those I call my friends. I love my dog. She brings me great joy. LOVE.

I love my friends.

My BFF, Brooke, now in Korea, is the one of the first people I want to call when I have a story to tell, or need to indulge in some over-sharing. She's a friend I know I've have no matter how much time or distance separates us. My cousin-BFF, Caroline, who is exactly 5 months older than I am, and had her first baby boy about 3 months before I'll have mine. She's a friend that I've had my whole life, and because I know we've already survived the growing-up ups and downs, we'll be friends always. My friend Liz, whom I met in Spain randomly several years ago, who randomly moved here and became my roommate a few years after that, who was in my wedding and I in hers, who is one of my best sounding boards. My small group people, as we all learn to live life together. LOVE.

I love my job, and my students. They teach me more than anything or anyone else, inspire me, challenge me, grow me. LOVE.

And most of all, I love the One, my creator, savior, father, lord, friend, lover.

Well, I want to love Him. I know that HE loves me.

And His love is


And I know that, the more I invest in time spent with Him, the more I know Him, the more I'm going to love Him, too. The more He'll change my life, the more He'll be what I need. Because I'll love him, catching a glimpse of how He loves me.


Seems like it's worth celebrating, don't you think?

May today you be wrapped in love, shower it onto others, and know that love is perhaps the most true and worthy thing to celebrate, anyway.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Midweek Confessions

Taking a quick minute from the huge amount of work I'm supposed to be doing to join in with E and others for Midweek Confessions. 

- At least once a week I sit and stare at an empty blog post and will myself to come up with something funny or witty or amazing, and feel like a failure when I can't.  It's also hard not to get sucked into the super lame world of "I don't have many followers" or "no one commented on my post" sometimes.  I read blogs (like E's) and think, "what am I doing wrong?"  (Note: isn't it interesting how insecurities and the need to be "liked," even in cyberspace, still pervades our very cores?  I'm a pretty confident in-real life person, so it's silly that I want blog-world acknowledgement.  God's working with me on this.)

- I didn't really watch the Superbowl at all, and not even the commercials, because I was working at the kitchen table.  But I pretended I was watching.  I did, however, totally watch Madonna during half-time.  I did get slightly irritated when Husband's pre-teen "cousin" said that Madonna was trying to be like Lady Gaga.  Umm, no.  And I absolutely loved my friend's Facebook post that said, "Gaga's grandma is KILLING it!"  (A compliment, by the way, in case you didn't know.)

- I totally took a donut at the staff breakfast this morning and then decided I wanted a bagel instead, so I made sure everyone knew I took the donut by accident and offered it around since I didn't want it.  I then, in the privacy of my classroom, scarfed down the donut anyway.  And the bagel.  And then a banana.

- I have a Student Council retreat this weekend (which I'm looking forward to), but I'm still only half-way planned for it and haven't even begun to get the supplies gathered/bought.  Tomorrow night's gonna result in a long shopping trip, since of course, tonight I'm not even sure what I will need to buy since I haven't finished planning yet.

These next two are kind of awkward-but-so-funny to me pregnancy related things, so feel free to skip them if you want. :)

- I was late to a meeting this morning because I had to go to the bathroom and make sure it didn't look like I'd peed my pants - because the reality was that I sort of had...  Upon entering my classroom I sneezed... and being 7 months pregnant, I sneeze-peed a little.  So awkward, yet so hilarious.

- I have started calling Life Savers Peppermints "Cervixes," because at birth class on Monday, the teacher had us all suck on LifeSavers and then described to us that what was happening to the mint would happen to our cervixes during labor (a.k.a. the thinning of effacement and the widening of dilation).  I have a bowl of "cervixes" on my desk, and yes, I have called them that with one or two select students who would appreciate the joke.  Husband and I wondered what it means if you're the type of person who bites the peppermint in half instead of letting it melt.

Seriously, I just shared that.  More seriously, I do that.  Please don't judge me or leave grossed out comments, lol - despite the fact that I also confessed I'm a comment-glutton.

Happy Wednesday, and may your confessions be as refreshing and fun for you to share as I feel about mine.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Ginny's First Big Snow

While I still only have one "child" to show off, I figure I better take advantage of these opportunities to share about our favorite princess, Ginny. 

Last weekend we had a big snow - it snowed all day Friday (I wrote about my snow day here and my desire to go sledding here).  On Saturday we took Ginny out to Mom and Dad's to run around in the yard, where, in some places, they had more than a foot piled up.  This isn't Ginny's first winter, but it was her first big snow, as last year's snowfall total was lame. 

She had a great time running around, and even though the big dogs were in their run and couldn't be out with her, she still managed to find a way to play with them, too.

I'm a proud Mama.  I just love this "little" dog.  She's definitely our little princess, and even though her world is going to be rocked (mine, too, I keep telling her), she's always going to be our first baby.

Anyway, it was a riot watching the dog, and I admit, I was completely jealous I couldn't run around and play with her in the snow.  Next winter, Ginny.  Next winter.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

On a Day Like Today...

I would have been clamoring to go outside and start sledding early, hoping to get to the best sledding hills before all the other kids did, too.  In fact, I posted on Facebook this morning that if I were younger, or even owned a sled, or wasn't 7 months pregnant, or had a child that was old enough, I'd be out there today.

It's been a while since it's really snowed a lot here, even though we're known for being a snowy state.  (That's up in the mountains people, we here in the foothills have it hit or miss sometimes.)  My patio table and the grill both have have over a foot of snow on them from yesterday's snowfall, so it was a good one.  Like I wrote yesterday, I wish I was out at my parents' this morning - I would take a picture of their beautiful forest home and show you how much they got - I'm sure it's a lot, and just plain breath-taking.

Anyway, when I was really little, less than 7, my parents and I lived in New York and had this great little hill in our back yard.  Now, my perception is totally skewed being that I was so little, but I recall that it was the perfect sledding hill - long enough that you could go aways before stopping.  Granted, I was 6, so aways might have been 15 feet.  My little sister wasn't born until I was nearly 6, so it was just me who went sledding on that hill, me and my dad or mom or whichever of them was "assigned" to me for playtime.  I have clear memories of bundling up and spending hours out there, sledding, making snowmen (New York snow was awesome for that, so wet and pack-able, unlike our dry powder here.  There you could actually roll  the snow into the balls for the head and body.  Here we sort of just mush it together.)  I remember coming inside the kitchen, all frosty and red-nosed, and drinking hot chocolate.  It was lovely. 

When we moved here, we no longer had such a conveniently located hill in our backyard, so we had to drive somewhere else to go sledding.  Fortunately this is a place with a lot of hills, so it wasn't terribly difficult.  (Fortunately then, for sledding.  Not so fortunate now, when I'm trying to run and it's all hills.)  We lived right by a high school that had a huge hill leading down towards their practice football field, so sometimes we would walk, sometimes drive over there and sled.  This experience was much more like thie picture above - dozens of children and their parents sledding down this long, big hill and racing back up again for another go.  The thrill of wondering how far you'd actually get, how fast you'd actually go, and if you would fall off or not.  Even if you did fall, it was usually okay, because the joy of the thought of another go was better than the minor pain of the fall.

When my sister was old enough, she came too, and she'd ride along in front of me on the sled.  We had a long, red one with "emergency brakes" (that I think never worked) and a rope or something to "steer."  I always wanted to try one of those "shield" ones, but I don't know if I ever have to this day.  She was the cutest little girl, with these adorable chubby cheeks that pinked right up in the cold, and being together doing something like that was the best.  Especially because we always were together, and never with any of the other kids on the hill.  It was times like those that started to cement our lifelong friendship, even though she was a teeny-weeny chica bonita.

Right before 8th grade we moved out to the forest, where my parents are now, and honestly, I can't remember if we ever went sledding again.  Probably we did a few times, or at least, Dad would have taken Sister since she was still young (she was in 2nd grade when I was in 8th), but I can't really recall going.  We did other snow activities (alas, no, I don't ski), but for me, the end of the sledding era was over.

The last few times I've driven by one of those great hills and seen the kids and their parents and all trails of the kids who've enjoyed the thrill and rush of flying down a hill, I've started to get the sledding "itch," again.  And this morning, as I see the sun shining down and the twinkling diamonds all around in the piles and piles of snow everywhere, I wish. 

I wish I owned a sled.  Or that I weren't 7 months pregnant. 

Or that the Peanut was already here, and just big enough to go outside, bundled up, with his dad and me, find a great hill, and experience the joy, pure joy, that comes from sledding.

Oh, I wish I could go sledding. 

Friday, February 3, 2012 Lovely to Be Home

Linking up today with Gypsy Mama and others to share on what's Real.

For me, today, it's lovely to be home.  We're having a real snow day, the first in a few years, I think, where we the snow is actually piling up.  I'm missing being at my parents' house, because they live in the middle of a beautiful forest, and there is nothing quite like snow-laden pine trees.  They're gorgeous.  I see the back of the town houses across from us and the cars in the parking lot covered in snow.  And our tree, which I am so glad we have, as it's the only one in the row, doesn't have branches wide enough to be laden.

But regardless, on this real snow day, complete with snow (as opposed to last year, where we got one for -20 degrees or something like that), I'm really happy to be home.  It's wonderful to have the opportunity to stay in bed as long as want - not sleeping, I can't sleep during the day - but reading a book, drinking coffee, working on school work.  I love my job, but an expected three day weekend is a real blessing.  Life is good these days, but busy and I'm tired.  And so a day off from the usual routine is really, really, wonderful.

It's real that my best friend from college, Brooke, has moved to Korea (she is on the plane to Seoul as I type this), and there is a really real chance we won't see each other for a year.  She won't get to be here to see me get even more uncomfortably pregnant, she'll miss it when our son comes into the world, and she won't be here to help me figure out how to finish decorating the nursery.  But the amazing thing about this real frienship, a truly real, deep, two-way friendship, is that, no matter how long we go without seeing each other, no matter how long it is before I can use the speed dial on my phone to call her again whenever I feel like it, no matter how many miles separate us, we will always be there for each other.  She's one of those friends.  The kind that gets to see the real you, the one who is full of joy and smiling, and the one who is a sniveling snot-covered mess on a bad day.  And you get to see the real her, too.  And so, despite the fact that I'm really sad she'll be so far away, I'm really excited for her journey and for mine, and for how our lives and roads will continue to intersect and matter to each other.  And I'm really excited that such a thing as Skype exists. (As I finished typing this, a package (one of several installements) that Brooke sent for Baby arrived.  She's the cutest, most thoughtful, most creative gift giver ever.)

And in the interest of being real, here's the real me today.  I might get dressed later, we'll see.  I might put my contacts in, but I'm not sure.  I definitely won't put on any make up, and well, that's really nice for me.  Here's what me being in bed for the day really looks like (yes, computer AND iPad going), and for Ginny.  She's really bothered that I'm home, as you can see.

As I continue to think about what's real today, I think about the One.  He's pretty real, and I continue to be amazed at the very real ways He interacts and responds to my heart.  Just yesterday I asked Him to continue to reveal and teach me about His Glory.  I opened up to wear I am in Mark (as I work my way through the New Testament), and found Mark's version of the same story that got me really thinking about Glory in the first place.  I just laughed.  And then God shared some more thoughts on Glory with me.  Because He is real, and He is responsive, and He Is.

Oh, and I really want something super bad for me to eat, but I'm not sure what.  Something that's really salty.  Chinese?  Mexican?  I don't know, but I really want it.  Too bad my car has crappy tires, no four wheel drive, and I promised Husband I wouldn't go out today, anyway, unless someone else drives me.   I really love that man, and how he wants to take care of and protect the Peanut and I.  Speakingn of the Peanut, he's really going to town today.  Kick kick kick, hiccup hiccup hiccup, punch kick hiccup.  Love it.

Forgive my slight shallowness today, friends, on what's real.  I really try to be a person who lives what she says and shows the good, the bad, and the in-between, and I could expand on that instead, but for today, I choose to share what today's real looks like. 

By the way, have I mentioned that it's really lovely to be home? 

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

A Promise

I miss being able to reach my feet comfortably.  I'm not so huge I can't tie my own shoes or clip my own toenails, but it's not comfortable to bend over, you know?  I miss my wedding ring (which was already snug on hot days or if I forgot to take it off for a run or something) on my finger, even though I have a lovely Clauddaugh ring I'm wearing instead.  And I miss walking up stairs without needing to stop at the top to just breathe for a little while. 

I just read a post by a woman who, at 39 weeks pregnant, went for a jog today.  I haven't been for a jog since early October, I would guess.  Maybe September.  I haven't even been for an official walk in over a month, although I did do a lot of walking around the mall this weekend with Husband.   Needless to say, I was incredibly jealous of this woman and her ability to jog, even if, as she said, she was slow, not graceful, and it wasn't for long.   Another blogger was posting that she'd walked 100 miles on trails this month, right near where I live.  Jealous, much?  Yes, yes I am.

So I'm posting this picture.  It's one of our favorite lakes up in the mountains, at the end of a lovely trail that has a couple of other beautiful lakes along the way, too. 

I'm going to go to this lake this summer, I've decided.  Well, I might have to settle for one of the other lakes, because this trail has some super steep parts to it, and while I've decided that I'm going to be in shape enough for it, I don't know if it will be safe to hike it with the baby strapped on.  I'll have to research what's considered a good idea.

Either way, I'm going to go to the mountains this summer.  I'm going to put the peanut in a baby carrier, and I'm going to hike, and see the beautiful vistas, and not get out of breath from just walking up the stairs, because I'm going to be mountain-ready.

Just needed to make that promise to myself.
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