Post disclaimer (and perhaps a blog disclaimer, too): I'm honest and forthcoming to a fault. I'm going to tell you everything, so.... if you're not into that, don't read my blog. :)
Months ago I shared with you what was on my heart: the desire to have a baby. If you know me at all, I'm not really a "mushy" person, so I've never been someone who gushes over things like weddings and babies, but Husband and I had decided, we wanted to be parents.
That decision didn't change very much for us, at the time. Husband would say he's incredibly good at "compartmentalizing" (or, truthfully, simply just not thinking about something at all). If I were to be honest, I'm pretty good at that, too. Don't get me wrong - I think too much sometimes - but I'm also quite capable of saying something like, "yes, let's have kids," and then not thinking about it again.
At the end of July, though, I started to wonder. I couldn't rememeber exactly when my last period was - I had a fair idea, but I wasn't totally sure. My breasts were definitely bigger than normal, but I had been struggling with weight gain over the last year or so, and so thought maybe I could chalk it up to that. I was starting to be more tired than I should be for summer break, but then, I was doing a lot and working out and being busy.
The first weekend in August, we headed out to see Husband's mom, Laura, in Nebraska. A few days before we left, I remember having coffee with a friend who asked if I would tell her if I were pregnant. I assured I would, but told her I wasn't.... even though at that point the doubt was slowly creeping into my mind.
With Husband and sister-in-law in the truck, we left early Friday morning for our eight hour drive. I wondered. And wondered. And kept it to myself because, surely, I would get my period that weekend. And if I didn't, well, then I'd figure it out when I got home. And I wouldn't tell Husband just yet, because I kind of wanted to take him out for a fun dinner and tell him if I were pregnant.
Come Saturday morning, though, I realized, I just plain wasn't strong enough to carry the question on my own, so I confided in Husband that I was freaking out a little (okay, a lot) about whether or not I was pregnant. I think he was surprised, but kind of excited. While he was out running some errands, I did some math from when I thought I'd last had my period, and completely freaked myself out, realizing that I was definitely (mostly, probably, am I over-reacting?) overdue. When he came home, we decided that we would both go pick up lunch for everyone and, while we were out, make a quick trip to the drug store to buy a pregnancy test.
I can't even really begin to describe the emotions I was feeling. Scared, excited, panicked, hopeful, fearful... I tried to explain to him what I was thinking - if I were pregnant, that was terrifying, because everything was going to change and be a big dang deal. And if I weren't, well, that would be devastating, even though I had just started to think I might be.
Buying a pregnancy test is a weird thing, don't you think? Even in the middle of another state, in a city where I know about 10 people, in a store I'd never been to, I felt funny. Like it was shameful, even though it absolutely wasn't. I couldn't look the cashier in the eye - I paid, grabbed the bag, and all but ran out of the store and hopped back in the truck.
After picking up Chipotle for everyone, we headed back to Laura's house, where I immediately made a beeline to our bathroom downstairs. I couldn't wait another second to find out. (And here all along I thought I was this sort of level-headed, patient person.) I took the test, and waited..... wondering what Husband was thinking as he was upstairs with his mom and sister.... and waited. The little "is the test working" line appeared in the first window, and then ... a vertical line appeared boldly and so blue in the second window. The horizontal line? There, but oh-so faint. I studied the pictures in the instruction booklet, trying to decide. As far as I could tell, there should have been a bold horizontal line and no vertical line at all if the test was negative.....
So I must be pregnant.
I about fell to pieces.
My eyes immediately filled with tears, and I kid you not - I thought I might hyperventilate. But I realized that if I went upstairs a total disaster, I'd have to tell. And I wasn't ready to do that. I mean, what if I'd read the test wrong? What if it weren't accurate? I needed to pull myself together, so I did.
After a minute, I went upstairs, and when asked where I'd been, said I'd had to use the bathroom, and left it that. I made eye contact with Husband for a split second, gave a small grin, and then looked away, diving into my Chipotle. We ate all together, talking about the most random things, for at least another half an hour before Husband and I had a chance to be alone. It was the weirdest thing, thinking I was pregnant, and not saying anything about it, jus sitting there, eating my Chipotle burrito bowl, watching T.V., talking, laughing, with the rest of the world (okay, slight exaggeration) not having a clue what was really going on in my head.
The possibility that everything was about to change was overwhelming.
The rest of the story to come.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
A Little Peanut Changes Ordinary in a Big Way
Linking up this morning with two of my favorite Friday morning reads: Coffee Company and Five Minute Fridays.
At Coffee Company, we just share our lives, as we would over a cup of coffee. See my post here about how I'm feeling about Pumpkin Spice Lattes. At Five Minute Fridays, we get a topic to chat about each week and share whatever our hearts say on that topic.
Today's discussion at FMF works perfectly for what I wanted to share over coffee.
Our topic?
What's Ordinary.
The reality is, my ordinary is changing every day, friends, and here's why.
At Coffee Company, we just share our lives, as we would over a cup of coffee. See my post here about how I'm feeling about Pumpkin Spice Lattes. At Five Minute Fridays, we get a topic to chat about each week and share whatever our hearts say on that topic.
Today's discussion at FMF works perfectly for what I wanted to share over coffee.
Our topic?
What's Ordinary.
The reality is, my ordinary is changing every day, friends, and here's why.
I actually normally am really bothered by people who put up pictures of their ultrasound.... I mean, who wants to look at my uterus? But.... I decided to succumb and do it anyway. Here's our little munchkin at about 11 weeks. (I'm now about 14 weeks.)
Ginny was very interested in the picture.... we like to pretend she understands and we tell her about her new baby sister or brother all the time. We're pretty convinced she's going to be a great big sister. And please excuse my messy table. I was tired that day.
Some of the fun things friends have given us to keep reminding us of what's to come. I prefer that over the conversations about how painful labor is going to be.
And a horrible picture of me. The other pictures of me I looked even worse. (Next time I'll have to make Husband take the picture and make sure I do my hair and don't look like crap. It took me 15 minutes and I'm still unhappy with this photo.)
So as you can see, friends, my ordinary isn't ordinary. I'm still processing the whole "I'm going to be a mom" thing. I am excited, fearful, estatic, worried..... and a plethora of other emotions. We're thinking of names, of how we need to change things, of how we need to "get our acts together" before baby comes, of what we need to do with our house to be baby ready, etc.... even though we have six months left.
What was ordinary before still is, but isn't. We do our lives each day, I teach, do StuCo, spend time with family. But I think and act on all these other things, too.
It's been crazy waiting to tell the world and people outside of our close family and friends circle, because it's all we've thought about since the first week in August..... but now it's out to the world..... So I'm counting on all your help to share your wise Mommy Wisdom with me over the next months and years.
Anyway, my five minutes are long up.
Here's to my ordinary, whatever it actually is.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Pumpkin Spice....
Dear Pumpkin Spice Latte Lovers,
I'm sincerely happy that the latte you love to sip is back, and that you're enjoying the deliciousness of it's spicy aroma and flavor. I hope you'll enjoy every single one you drink until they go out of season again. I'm quite aware that the Pumpkin Spice Latte signals the arrival of the fall season, perhaps one of my most favoritest (yes, that should be a word) seasons of all, for so many reasons. May you savor every sip with a sigh of satisfaction.
But would you please stop rubbing it in my face that it isn't quite yet my turn, as the Gingerbread Latte season has not yet arrived? I don't begrudge you your happiness, but you're doing an awfully good job at making me jealous and a little sad.
My time is coming however.... and, of course, when it doesn, it means that yours will be at an end.
Sincerely,
A Gingerbread Latte Girl
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
On Being Small, Going it Alone, and Other Things
Husband and I have been doing a little quick devotional together each night recently - and by at night, I mean, at night, or, if we forgot, the next morning. It's about time - it only took us three years of marriage to figure out that the small devotional together was the way we could be consistent.
A friend (and I can't exactly remember who, but I feel like it might have been Dawn, since she posted on this same devotional recently) gave me the book Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young.
We really like it.
Each day has a short reading, followed by some verses you can look up if you feel so inclined. Sometimes we get to the verses, sometimes we are too involved in a conversation inspired by what we've read already. It's nice - Husband is someone who processes slowly, so if I want to talk about something longer, like a sermon we heard, he's not going to be ready to do so for a while. With these little devos, he can think about it more quickly, and we are able to talk right then and there.
Yesterdays' reading was written straight for me, I think. It's not long, so, even though this might be a copyright issue, I'm going to share it with you. (Credit: It's the October 4 reading, Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young.)
I am the Creator of Heaven and Earth: Lord of all that is and all that will ever be. Although I am unimaginably vast, I choose to dwell within you, permeating you with My Presence. Only in the spirit realm could Someone so infinitely great live within someone so very small. Be awed by the Power and the Glory of My Spirit within you!
Though the Holy Spirit is infinite, He deigns to be your Helper. He is always ready to offer assistance; all you need to do is ask. When the path before you looks easy and straightforward, you may be tempted to go it alone instead of relying on Me. This is when you are in the greatest danger of stumbling. Ask My Spirit to help you as you go each step of the way. Never neglect this glorious source of strength within you.
When I'm standing amidst the ridges and trees and vistas of the mountains, or before the expansive vastness of the ocean, I always meet God. In my entire life, God has never failed to show up when I was in one of those places. I'm struck by the hugeness of God, and the tinyness of me, and by how, even though I am so tiny in comparsion, and just one tiny person amidst a world of tiny people, He loves me infinitely. But I'm not sure I've ever given much thought to the fact that that same HUGE God lives in me. I'm awed by His Hugeness, by His Vastness, by His Unfathomable Love for me. But I don't often get to the part where I'm awed by the fact that He deigns, as the text says, to live in me. Serious food for thought, here.
And then the next part, well, arrow to my heart, Lord.
I am so the person who attempts to go it alone when things are easy and straightforward. I'm great at clinging to God during hard times, but ummm... other than that, not so much. I mean, I go to church and get a lot from ther sermons. I have quiet times periodically (sometimes often, sometimes not), and I hear from and love God. But the rest of the minutes of the hours of the days, well, I'm not paying much attention.
Recently I was talking to someone and, as we were discussing what our challenges were, commented that I subconciously (and now conciously) consider myself to be a pretty self-sufficient person. And I don't want to be. I want the Vast Huge God to be my sufficiency, not myself. And if my thinking that the other day wasn't enough of a hint, here came this devotional to remind me.
If I'm going to attempt to go it alone, I'm going to stumble.
I mean, I'm probably going to stumble anyway, but it's a different kind of stumble, I think.
Okay, God. Message is slowly starting to be received. May You be the One I consider, the One I turn to for everything and anything, the One I am awed by and in love with. May I crave spending time with You, getting your advice, and doing what You want and will.
Amen.
A friend (and I can't exactly remember who, but I feel like it might have been Dawn, since she posted on this same devotional recently) gave me the book Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young.
We really like it.
Each day has a short reading, followed by some verses you can look up if you feel so inclined. Sometimes we get to the verses, sometimes we are too involved in a conversation inspired by what we've read already. It's nice - Husband is someone who processes slowly, so if I want to talk about something longer, like a sermon we heard, he's not going to be ready to do so for a while. With these little devos, he can think about it more quickly, and we are able to talk right then and there.
Yesterdays' reading was written straight for me, I think. It's not long, so, even though this might be a copyright issue, I'm going to share it with you. (Credit: It's the October 4 reading, Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young.)
I am the Creator of Heaven and Earth: Lord of all that is and all that will ever be. Although I am unimaginably vast, I choose to dwell within you, permeating you with My Presence. Only in the spirit realm could Someone so infinitely great live within someone so very small. Be awed by the Power and the Glory of My Spirit within you!
Though the Holy Spirit is infinite, He deigns to be your Helper. He is always ready to offer assistance; all you need to do is ask. When the path before you looks easy and straightforward, you may be tempted to go it alone instead of relying on Me. This is when you are in the greatest danger of stumbling. Ask My Spirit to help you as you go each step of the way. Never neglect this glorious source of strength within you.
When I'm standing amidst the ridges and trees and vistas of the mountains, or before the expansive vastness of the ocean, I always meet God. In my entire life, God has never failed to show up when I was in one of those places. I'm struck by the hugeness of God, and the tinyness of me, and by how, even though I am so tiny in comparsion, and just one tiny person amidst a world of tiny people, He loves me infinitely. But I'm not sure I've ever given much thought to the fact that that same HUGE God lives in me. I'm awed by His Hugeness, by His Vastness, by His Unfathomable Love for me. But I don't often get to the part where I'm awed by the fact that He deigns, as the text says, to live in me. Serious food for thought, here.
And then the next part, well, arrow to my heart, Lord.
I am so the person who attempts to go it alone when things are easy and straightforward. I'm great at clinging to God during hard times, but ummm... other than that, not so much. I mean, I go to church and get a lot from ther sermons. I have quiet times periodically (sometimes often, sometimes not), and I hear from and love God. But the rest of the minutes of the hours of the days, well, I'm not paying much attention.
Recently I was talking to someone and, as we were discussing what our challenges were, commented that I subconciously (and now conciously) consider myself to be a pretty self-sufficient person. And I don't want to be. I want the Vast Huge God to be my sufficiency, not myself. And if my thinking that the other day wasn't enough of a hint, here came this devotional to remind me.
If I'm going to attempt to go it alone, I'm going to stumble.
I mean, I'm probably going to stumble anyway, but it's a different kind of stumble, I think.
Okay, God. Message is slowly starting to be received. May You be the One I consider, the One I turn to for everything and anything, the One I am awed by and in love with. May I crave spending time with You, getting your advice, and doing what You want and will.
Amen.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
To Leave a Legacy
I've never been much of a Nicole Nordeman fan (which is pretty much illegal for me to say because she's from my home town and hit it big when I was in high school), but this song pretty much sums up what I'm thinking at this moment.
See, pretty much half the world has been posting over the last few weeks, and especially the last few days, in honor of Sara. Sara struggled with chronic illness and has been home-bound for years. Over the last few weeks, her body began shutting down. And on Saturday, Sara went to be with Jesus. I'd only started reading Sara's blog a little while ago, but was immediately drawn to her. She's funny, courageous, passionate. And she's currently free of pain, which is the best part of the whole thing.
Seriously, though, if you wander through the world of amazing Christian bloggers, you'll see post after post after post after post dedicated to Sara and to the legacy she's left us all. (An IRL friend of mine posted beautifully on the subject here... you should read it.) Each of us has been challenged to Choose Joy and to live in such a way that reflects that joy, no matter the circumstance. Her reach has been widespread, her legacy large. I can't help but wonder if she had any idea.
I've known a few people who are legacy leavers, most notably, in a personal sense, my grandmother. She passed away nearly nine years ago, and I still cry when I miss her. Anytime anything big happens in our lives we wish she were here. She was the best. I mean, literally the best. The best grandma, friend, mother, cook, wife, homemaker, researcher. The best. And we still miss her. My mom has often said she hopes that her legacy is as strong... to be that missed that many years later? Grandma was a legacy leaver. She didn't have the wide-reach Sara did, but to me, to my family, it was just as important.
And as I think about this women (and a few others I have known), I can't help but wonder....
Am I leaving a legacy?
Is what I'm doing with my life, my time, my work, my thoughts, my efforts, worthy? Will it matter to someone deeply, to my family, to my friends? Am I living well? Do I show others how to Choose Joy, to choose life, to choose faithfulness?
I, like Nicole Nordeman, want to leave a legacy. I can't help but to think of anything else as I read post after post on Sara, and she reminds me of others who have gone before her. Someday, I too, will go.
What will have I left behind?
See, pretty much half the world has been posting over the last few weeks, and especially the last few days, in honor of Sara. Sara struggled with chronic illness and has been home-bound for years. Over the last few weeks, her body began shutting down. And on Saturday, Sara went to be with Jesus. I'd only started reading Sara's blog a little while ago, but was immediately drawn to her. She's funny, courageous, passionate. And she's currently free of pain, which is the best part of the whole thing.
I've known a few people who are legacy leavers, most notably, in a personal sense, my grandmother. She passed away nearly nine years ago, and I still cry when I miss her. Anytime anything big happens in our lives we wish she were here. She was the best. I mean, literally the best. The best grandma, friend, mother, cook, wife, homemaker, researcher. The best. And we still miss her. My mom has often said she hopes that her legacy is as strong... to be that missed that many years later? Grandma was a legacy leaver. She didn't have the wide-reach Sara did, but to me, to my family, it was just as important.
And as I think about this women (and a few others I have known), I can't help but wonder....
Am I leaving a legacy?
Is what I'm doing with my life, my time, my work, my thoughts, my efforts, worthy? Will it matter to someone deeply, to my family, to my friends? Am I living well? Do I show others how to Choose Joy, to choose life, to choose faithfulness?
I, like Nicole Nordeman, want to leave a legacy. I can't help but to think of anything else as I read post after post on Sara, and she reminds me of others who have gone before her. Someday, I too, will go.
What will have I left behind?
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Life on a Sunday
To wake up on a Sunday morning, without an alarm clock, but simply because it's time to wake up, is perhaps one of the most delicious feelings ever. I'm sure all of you who wake up with me before 6 am every day agree, don't you?
I had a restless night of sleeping - no matter what I did, I just couldn't seem to stay sleeping for longer than an hour - but I still felt rested when I woke up. Husband was on worship team this morning, so he was gone by the time I actually got out of bed.
With a cup of re-heated coffee in hand, I quicky cleaned out the fridge and freezer, a task I'd been meaning to do for over a week. I confess that there were some tupperwares full of nasty tucked in various corners. Let's just say that I had to take the trash out right away. I loaded up the dishwasher and set it to clean. I ran a load of laundry and then hung it up to dry - our clothes dryer has been on the fritz for a few months now, so I channel my inner Spaniard and line dry my clothes in the basement.
After getting dressed (and, I think, looking pretty dang cute), I headed to church for the early service, which I almost never do. I wanted to be there just in case a friend showed up. Our first year of marriage, Husband and I carpooled to work with one of his co-workers, Mike, every day, (I was car-less due to totalling my car two weeks before our wedding, and the friend was car-less due to the fact that he'd been in jail for some drug and alcohol-related things), so we got to know him pretty well. Over the years, Husband has stayed friends with Mike, walking with him as Mike became a dad, went back to jail, and more. Last week, Mike called asking for the name, address, and number of our church, because he wanted to give it a try. This is the first time Mike has expressed any interest in going to church at all, so I wanted to make sure he know at least one person in the congregation. (Husband was on-stage behind the drums.) Both Mike and his mom came, so pray with me that they'll come back again!
I came home and did a little work on the agenda for our Student Council retreat - it's this coming weekend, and I hadn't even started on a rough agenda yet. I'm pretty excited for it, even with just my tentative outline. This group is fantastic, so it's going to be amazing. We'll be up in the mountains, away from cell phones and noise and distractions, with the aspen trees changing from bright green to glimmering gold. It's going to be lovely.
When Husband got home, we headed out to my family's house in the forest for a little homemade pizza lunch. Ginny came with us and played with the "big dogs" for a long time. They're two Siberian Huskies, and when she comes over, all three can be seen tearing around the backyard at breakneck speeds. Ginny, when feeling slightly overwhelmed, lies down with submissively until she's "fooled" them, and then gets up and runs as fast as she can again. (Currently, Ginny is completely sacked out, having been worn out from her play time. I know the big dogs are the same way at my parents' house.)
Mom makes the best homemade pizza using dough from Whole Foods. Seriously, if you haven't tried their multi-grain dough, you need to. It's amazing. She gets the crust crispy, tops it with the most delicious veggies, adds a few pieces of pepperoni to bring out the flavor, and, without even realizing it, we're eating an incredibly healthy, delicious pizza. Mom mentioned today that she'd love if it we someday moved out there near them. She said they would respect our privacy - well, she'd teach Dad to do so. Sister, Husband, and I all laughed hysterically... poor Dad... he's the best dad ever. I bet if we ever decide to sell the townhouse, we could be easily convinced into looking near them. It's a lovely area, with soooo many beautiful pine trees.
After a quick stop by DQ to get a blizzard for later, Husband and I came home. We each took a quick "nap" - his consisting of actually sleeping, mine consisting of reading a book, and then he headed back to church to get ready for youth group, where he is a sponsor and the youth worship team leader.
I'm now parked on the couch, my usual Sunday evening spot, with laptop in place, working on the content for my online class. Last year I had to create the class from scratch, which meant I spent a minimum of 10 hours a weekend on the computer - it was misery defined, and I hated teaching the class. This year I'm just tweaking what I already had, improving it, adding to it, and overall, enjoying it much more. I actually have time to grade the work and give my online students meaningful feedback in a timely manner.
Anyway, that's my Sunday. I hope to finish the work (depending on of I let myself get more distracted or not) soon, and then get to do a few "getting ready for the week" things. And then off to bed, to hopefully sleep peacefully until morning.
I had a restless night of sleeping - no matter what I did, I just couldn't seem to stay sleeping for longer than an hour - but I still felt rested when I woke up. Husband was on worship team this morning, so he was gone by the time I actually got out of bed.
With a cup of re-heated coffee in hand, I quicky cleaned out the fridge and freezer, a task I'd been meaning to do for over a week. I confess that there were some tupperwares full of nasty tucked in various corners. Let's just say that I had to take the trash out right away. I loaded up the dishwasher and set it to clean. I ran a load of laundry and then hung it up to dry - our clothes dryer has been on the fritz for a few months now, so I channel my inner Spaniard and line dry my clothes in the basement.
After getting dressed (and, I think, looking pretty dang cute), I headed to church for the early service, which I almost never do. I wanted to be there just in case a friend showed up. Our first year of marriage, Husband and I carpooled to work with one of his co-workers, Mike, every day, (I was car-less due to totalling my car two weeks before our wedding, and the friend was car-less due to the fact that he'd been in jail for some drug and alcohol-related things), so we got to know him pretty well. Over the years, Husband has stayed friends with Mike, walking with him as Mike became a dad, went back to jail, and more. Last week, Mike called asking for the name, address, and number of our church, because he wanted to give it a try. This is the first time Mike has expressed any interest in going to church at all, so I wanted to make sure he know at least one person in the congregation. (Husband was on-stage behind the drums.) Both Mike and his mom came, so pray with me that they'll come back again!
I came home and did a little work on the agenda for our Student Council retreat - it's this coming weekend, and I hadn't even started on a rough agenda yet. I'm pretty excited for it, even with just my tentative outline. This group is fantastic, so it's going to be amazing. We'll be up in the mountains, away from cell phones and noise and distractions, with the aspen trees changing from bright green to glimmering gold. It's going to be lovely.
When Husband got home, we headed out to my family's house in the forest for a little homemade pizza lunch. Ginny came with us and played with the "big dogs" for a long time. They're two Siberian Huskies, and when she comes over, all three can be seen tearing around the backyard at breakneck speeds. Ginny, when feeling slightly overwhelmed, lies down with submissively until she's "fooled" them, and then gets up and runs as fast as she can again. (Currently, Ginny is completely sacked out, having been worn out from her play time. I know the big dogs are the same way at my parents' house.)
Ginny, right now, seriously worn out.
An old picture of the Huskies, but at least you get to meet them.
Mom makes the best homemade pizza using dough from Whole Foods. Seriously, if you haven't tried their multi-grain dough, you need to. It's amazing. She gets the crust crispy, tops it with the most delicious veggies, adds a few pieces of pepperoni to bring out the flavor, and, without even realizing it, we're eating an incredibly healthy, delicious pizza. Mom mentioned today that she'd love if it we someday moved out there near them. She said they would respect our privacy - well, she'd teach Dad to do so. Sister, Husband, and I all laughed hysterically... poor Dad... he's the best dad ever. I bet if we ever decide to sell the townhouse, we could be easily convinced into looking near them. It's a lovely area, with soooo many beautiful pine trees.
After a quick stop by DQ to get a blizzard for later, Husband and I came home. We each took a quick "nap" - his consisting of actually sleeping, mine consisting of reading a book, and then he headed back to church to get ready for youth group, where he is a sponsor and the youth worship team leader.
I'm now parked on the couch, my usual Sunday evening spot, with laptop in place, working on the content for my online class. Last year I had to create the class from scratch, which meant I spent a minimum of 10 hours a weekend on the computer - it was misery defined, and I hated teaching the class. This year I'm just tweaking what I already had, improving it, adding to it, and overall, enjoying it much more. I actually have time to grade the work and give my online students meaningful feedback in a timely manner.
Anyway, that's my Sunday. I hope to finish the work (depending on of I let myself get more distracted or not) soon, and then get to do a few "getting ready for the week" things. And then off to bed, to hopefully sleep peacefully until morning.
Friday, September 23, 2011
I Forgot...
... that singing makes me quite happy.
I can't remember the last time I just sang, with no one listening, just for me, until just a minute ago.
When I was in high school I used to get home before anyone else in my family and I would walk around the house singing as loudly as I wanted, with music, without music, to whatever song was on my heart. I perfected a soulful rendition of Amazing Grace. I went through a Celine Dion phase. I always loved singing along with Ella Fitzgerald. But I just sang, for me, with no one listening.
Singing during worship time at church is almost always my favorite part of the service, especially these days, as our worship team has really started to come together and do some great things musically. But I don't always make it to church, so I don't always get that outlet. In college I quit singing at church for a while, anyway, because I decided I was singing too much for me and not enough for God. So now I still sometimes stay quiet, when I realize I'm thinking about if I sound good, instead of thinking about what I'm singing and to whom I'm singing.
I used to be car singer, but these days, I'm either on the phone when I drive (not texting, talking) or listening to a sermon or something talk-y on the radio. I never remember to bring my iPod and play sing-along-with-me songs.
And most of the time, I'm at work or with people, so I just don't get a chance to sing.
This morning I'm in my classroom working. I have all the flourescent lights off, the blinds open, and the lamps lit. There's a pumpkin spice candle on the candle warmer, the scent creating a sense of fall and warmth. Pandora is playing a channel of mellow, beautiful, soulful, songs, and I'm working. Tidying, lesson planning, being productive. The atmosphere, if I do say so myself, is pretty darn peaceful, fun, amazing. A song came on, one that I used to car-sing quite frequently, and, without realizing it, I was singing. It was automatic. After a moment, I stopped working, stopped moving, and just sang.
And it made my heart happy.
Strange how I forget that singing is healthy for my heart, and that I don't take the time to do it more often. Why do I talk on the phone in the car, when I could sing? I need to remember this.
It was just one of those moments where I felt this pure, inexplicable joy. I had to share it.
Do something that makes you happy, today, even if just for a few minutes.
Disclaimer: I am not saying I am an amazing singer, although I'm not bad either. I just love singing.
And, just because I can, and I apparently feel the need to be a little humiliated, please enjoy this video of a student and I singing last year at an Acoustic Cafe. I screwed up, but we laughed, and moved on. Something about those high school kids freaked me out. :) Clearly it's a cell phone video, so the quality is atrocious. Enjoy anyway.
I can't remember the last time I just sang, with no one listening, just for me, until just a minute ago.
When I was in high school I used to get home before anyone else in my family and I would walk around the house singing as loudly as I wanted, with music, without music, to whatever song was on my heart. I perfected a soulful rendition of Amazing Grace. I went through a Celine Dion phase. I always loved singing along with Ella Fitzgerald. But I just sang, for me, with no one listening.
Singing during worship time at church is almost always my favorite part of the service, especially these days, as our worship team has really started to come together and do some great things musically. But I don't always make it to church, so I don't always get that outlet. In college I quit singing at church for a while, anyway, because I decided I was singing too much for me and not enough for God. So now I still sometimes stay quiet, when I realize I'm thinking about if I sound good, instead of thinking about what I'm singing and to whom I'm singing.
I used to be car singer, but these days, I'm either on the phone when I drive (not texting, talking) or listening to a sermon or something talk-y on the radio. I never remember to bring my iPod and play sing-along-with-me songs.
And most of the time, I'm at work or with people, so I just don't get a chance to sing.
This morning I'm in my classroom working. I have all the flourescent lights off, the blinds open, and the lamps lit. There's a pumpkin spice candle on the candle warmer, the scent creating a sense of fall and warmth. Pandora is playing a channel of mellow, beautiful, soulful, songs, and I'm working. Tidying, lesson planning, being productive. The atmosphere, if I do say so myself, is pretty darn peaceful, fun, amazing. A song came on, one that I used to car-sing quite frequently, and, without realizing it, I was singing. It was automatic. After a moment, I stopped working, stopped moving, and just sang.
And it made my heart happy.
Strange how I forget that singing is healthy for my heart, and that I don't take the time to do it more often. Why do I talk on the phone in the car, when I could sing? I need to remember this.
It was just one of those moments where I felt this pure, inexplicable joy. I had to share it.
Do something that makes you happy, today, even if just for a few minutes.
Disclaimer: I am not saying I am an amazing singer, although I'm not bad either. I just love singing.
And, just because I can, and I apparently feel the need to be a little humiliated, please enjoy this video of a student and I singing last year at an Acoustic Cafe. I screwed up, but we laughed, and moved on. Something about those high school kids freaked me out. :) Clearly it's a cell phone video, so the quality is atrocious. Enjoy anyway.
Friday, September 16, 2011
On my Mind
There's a lot. And I can't write it all, especially because my students are about to walk through the door and I have to switch gears to vocabulary games on a Friday (because grammar rules would just even be too much for me.)
I'm thinking about the future, and what it holds. A lot of things.
I'm thinking about living now, on the journey, and not just looking for the destination.
I'm thinking about Sara and her journey Home, and how so many people have, even just today, been impacted by her life, and her challenge to choose joy.
I'm thinking about priorities. I just read a post that created an acronym for joy: Jesus, Others, You. And thought how I live a little like Others, You (as in me), Jesus, and how that should probably change. Okay, not probably, definitely.
There's more. But the students just started walking in, so... more from me soon.
I'm thinking about the future, and what it holds. A lot of things.
I'm thinking about living now, on the journey, and not just looking for the destination.
I'm thinking about Sara and her journey Home, and how so many people have, even just today, been impacted by her life, and her challenge to choose joy.
I'm thinking about priorities. I just read a post that created an acronym for joy: Jesus, Others, You. And thought how I live a little like Others, You (as in me), Jesus, and how that should probably change. Okay, not probably, definitely.
There's more. But the students just started walking in, so... more from me soon.
Friday, September 9, 2011
5 Minutes on a Homecoming Friday
Today we're supposed to write about connecting in real life. Well, today is Friday of our Homecoming week, which means in about two hours, the whole school will traipse upstairs to our gymnasium-converted-theater for our Homecoming Assembly, a big deal with games, costumes, and props, all put together by my wonderful Student Council kids.
This week, more than even a normal week, they are with whom I am connecting. They are this group of 45 amazing, talented, super involved, passionate teenagers who are desperate to make this school a place where people feel welcome. I've spent hours talking and listening as they figure out how to try to engage people, how to reach the unreached, how to get people to laugh and enjoy being at school. Then hours as they detail their lives, their over-committed, complicated, high-pressure lives, and try to learn how to find balance and joy in all the things they do.
It's these students that are my mission - not necessarily an evangelical mission, since I'm a public school teacher - but my mission nonetheless. They are passionate about all they do, and I am passionate about them and their growth as people. I feel called every day to be here with them, giving of my time and my life to spend with them.
And I learn more from them than they know.
And now, my five minutes are up, and I have to go upstairs anyway to get ready for this big dang deal of an assembly. More to come from me another day when Homecoming is over and I've gotten some sleep.
May your day be full of real connections!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Mad as a Hatter
It's Homecoming Week at our school, and today is Mad Hatter Day. Turns out Husband has like two or three of this style of hat in a "keepsake" box in the basement. Apparently, he says, he was a nerd. Either way, it worked out for me as I got to borrow this ridiculous hat. I can't teach in it, though - it distracts even me.
Homecoming Week is early this year, a mixed blessing. We've been working our tails off in Student Council (I have an AMAZING group of students this year, I can't even begin to tell you), but when it's over, we'll have most of the semester to still do some amazing things. If you don't remember, our StuCo is a class that does a lot to develop leadership in our members, as well as serves the school in many different ways, events being one of them.
Our theme this year is Through the Looking Glass. We're combining the book, the Disney movie, and the new-ish Johnny Depp version as our sources of inspiration. Each spirit day focuses on something from the movie - Mad Hatter Monday, Quarrel of the Queens Wednesday (upperclassmen in white, lowerclassmen in red), Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee Thursday (twin day). Regular school spirit day on Friday.
This afternoon we have our Powder Puff football game - the girls are all proudly sporting their jerseys. One poor girl wanted hers to say "C-Rock" as her nickname, but due to illegible handwriting, says "C-Rack." At least it doesn't say DD, was all I could think. (ha. Sorry, that was a little bad of me to actually write.) We have official officials so no one can say the game was rigged so that seniors would win.... but they will.
After the game we'll head over to where the bonfire is set up to take place. We're shooting for no rain tonight, even though it's predicted. Join me in saying a little no-rain prayer, please, because we'd have to cancel the bonfire completely, with no chance of rescheduling. Why students like to stand around a large fire and listen to music and talk I've never understood. Oh wait, it's because it's like out of a movie, the epitome of being young.
Thursday night we'll come to set up our assembly. Stages, decorations, and sound system will be brought to the gym as we change it from a basketball court to a theater.
We'll put on a huge assembly on Friday, complete with props and acts, and then announce our royalty winners on the red carpet at the Homecoming football game halftime show. They'll ride in on golf carts, receive roses, sashes, and be escorted out onto the field.
Saturday we'll show up bright and early to start transforming our cafeteria and gym into Wonderland. We'll use props, gossamer, and glitter. So much gossamer and glitter. The DJ and his massive light and sound system will come in at about 5:30 to set up, and then, after re-hanging a few fallen down decorations, I'll wait for students to come and ooh and ahh over how nice it looks. Of course, there will be a few grumblers, but I'll ignore them. Sometime after midnight (more like 1), I'll fall into my bed with visions of decorations, dancers, and dresses in my head.
Oh, Homecoming Week. Love it, but it's clear why Mad Hatter Day fits me well.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
A Breeze of Fresh Air
It's been hot here. I mean, not Arizona hot, but hot. We've had more than 30 days with temperatures over 90 degrees, a record for us. And in a house with no AC, well, it's been hot. One day earlier this summer I noticed that my thermostat read 85 degrees.... and it was still cooler indoors than out.
It was almost a relief to go back to school, because my classroom is notoriously freezing - I've worn a sweater inside nearly every day and taken it off as I leave the building and get into my hot hot hot car. Most people I've talked to, even the warm-weather loves, are ready for a change. It's just been too much! You throw open all the windows in the evening and get the fans going, hoping to circulate the cooler air outside into the house. It works some, but when you wake up in the morning, it's still warm. You've completely kicked off the covers in your sleep. The temperature is already quickly rising.
When I woke up on Saturday, though, I was chilly. And when I got out of bed, I was cold. The temperature had dropped significantly and it was windy and chilly outside. With jeans, a t-shirt, a hoodie on I ventured outside at about 9 to run some errands, and relished the goosebumps accompanying the fresh, chilly air. All day it stayed cool. My dad, sister and I went to our first football game of the season (go Air Force!), and inside the stadium, with the breeze diminished, we shed our jackets and basked in warmth, but didn't melt.
It was as if fall was peeking it's head around the corner, letting us know it will soon be coming, bringing all of my favorite, lovely things with it.
This morning it was again refreshingly chilly when we woke up. When I realized the temperature was only supposed to be about 70, I put my skirt back in the closet and put on a pair of dressy jeans and a sweater to head to church. Lovely. Heavenly. Joy-bringing.
I just needed that chilly, fresh air to clear out my senses and the feeling of staleness in my house that comes with teh heat, you know? It's refreshing, and almost healing, in a way, to feel the crisp breeze through the window even as I type.
God is always, always reminding me of His ways, it seems. I could explain what I mean, but I think you get it.
Sometimes you just need that breeze, that breath, of fresh air.
It was almost a relief to go back to school, because my classroom is notoriously freezing - I've worn a sweater inside nearly every day and taken it off as I leave the building and get into my hot hot hot car. Most people I've talked to, even the warm-weather loves, are ready for a change. It's just been too much! You throw open all the windows in the evening and get the fans going, hoping to circulate the cooler air outside into the house. It works some, but when you wake up in the morning, it's still warm. You've completely kicked off the covers in your sleep. The temperature is already quickly rising.
When I woke up on Saturday, though, I was chilly. And when I got out of bed, I was cold. The temperature had dropped significantly and it was windy and chilly outside. With jeans, a t-shirt, a hoodie on I ventured outside at about 9 to run some errands, and relished the goosebumps accompanying the fresh, chilly air. All day it stayed cool. My dad, sister and I went to our first football game of the season (go Air Force!), and inside the stadium, with the breeze diminished, we shed our jackets and basked in warmth, but didn't melt.
It was as if fall was peeking it's head around the corner, letting us know it will soon be coming, bringing all of my favorite, lovely things with it.
This morning it was again refreshingly chilly when we woke up. When I realized the temperature was only supposed to be about 70, I put my skirt back in the closet and put on a pair of dressy jeans and a sweater to head to church. Lovely. Heavenly. Joy-bringing.
God is always, always reminding me of His ways, it seems. I could explain what I mean, but I think you get it.
Sometimes you just need that breeze, that breath, of fresh air.
Monday, August 29, 2011
If I Don't Make Time, There Won't Be Time
Isn't that so true about so many things in life? If we don't make time, there won't ever be time.
We live in a society that teaches us to function with every moment packed with things to do. It doesn't matter what stage of life you're in - your life is full. Our children have sports and school and extracurricular activities. Our teens have sports and school and extracurricular activities and jobs. Our college students have sports and school and extracurricular activities and jobs and job interviews. Our young professionals have work and meetings and extra duties and functions they run and attend. Our parents have work, housekeeping responsibilities, carting their kids around to the aforementioned places, and more functions they run and attend. We retire later in life, and even then, still live our lives with seemingly every moment packed.
And we feel guilty if we stop, even for a few minutes. Our culture tells that resting is, at the very least, irresponsible, if not down right lazy.
The more I do life like this, though, the more I think it's not supposed to be this way. I need to rest. I need to take time - to make time - to do things that I want to do, not just do all the things I have to do.
I want to blog, so I'm going to take five minutes to blog. It may not be the best post ever, but if it's important, who cares if I take five minutes out of doing something else?
I want to exercise, but I have papers to grade. So take the dog for a 15 minute walk and then get back to grading.
I want to watch a movie with my husband, but I should clean the house. Do a five-minute maintenance in each of the worst areas and then watch the movie.
I know there are more ways to simplify, to take time to rest, and to not buy in to the lie that resting (whatever form that takes) is lazy or irresponsible, and I know that, even though I know I need to shift my life a little here, I will still get sucked into the "doing" and forget about the "making time."
Perhaps you can remind me the next time I write a "busy" post, okay?
Here's to making time for the things we need to do for the good of our minds, bodies, spirits, souls.
Here's to not feeling guilty when you put aside the work or the responsibility for a few moments.
And here's to all of us - may we live in ways where we feel rested and full of freedom.
And we feel guilty if we stop, even for a few minutes. Our culture tells that resting is, at the very least, irresponsible, if not down right lazy.
The more I do life like this, though, the more I think it's not supposed to be this way. I need to rest. I need to take time - to make time - to do things that I want to do, not just do all the things I have to do.
I want to blog, so I'm going to take five minutes to blog. It may not be the best post ever, but if it's important, who cares if I take five minutes out of doing something else?
I want to exercise, but I have papers to grade. So take the dog for a 15 minute walk and then get back to grading.
I want to watch a movie with my husband, but I should clean the house. Do a five-minute maintenance in each of the worst areas and then watch the movie.
I know there are more ways to simplify, to take time to rest, and to not buy in to the lie that resting (whatever form that takes) is lazy or irresponsible, and I know that, even though I know I need to shift my life a little here, I will still get sucked into the "doing" and forget about the "making time."
Perhaps you can remind me the next time I write a "busy" post, okay?
Here's to making time for the things we need to do for the good of our minds, bodies, spirits, souls.
Here's to not feeling guilty when you put aside the work or the responsibility for a few moments.
And here's to all of us - may we live in ways where we feel rested and full of freedom.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
A Few Fun Summer Pictures
Well, I've been gone from blogland ALL summer long for a few different reasons - a broken computer, no desire to be on the computer, questioning why to blog, etc.
Summer is winding down (I'll be back in the school building by choice this week and by requirement next week), Husband and I just bought a new laptop, and I've decided to blog because I like it, not to be known or get followers, so..... I'm back.
I don't promise regular blogging - you know me - depends on whether or not my schedule gets insane insane or just mostly insane, but I'm excited to blog again, anyway.
I'll show you a few of the things I've been up to this summer: I don't have the whole summer depicted here, but here are a few photos of July. (Remember how I thought my camera had been stolen in like February? Well, it turns out it was just in my car.... I found it mid-July when I finally cleaned the car out thoroughly.)
Summer is winding down (I'll be back in the school building by choice this week and by requirement next week), Husband and I just bought a new laptop, and I've decided to blog because I like it, not to be known or get followers, so..... I'm back.
I don't promise regular blogging - you know me - depends on whether or not my schedule gets insane insane or just mostly insane, but I'm excited to blog again, anyway.
I'll show you a few of the things I've been up to this summer: I don't have the whole summer depicted here, but here are a few photos of July. (Remember how I thought my camera had been stolen in like February? Well, it turns out it was just in my car.... I found it mid-July when I finally cleaned the car out thoroughly.)
I helped my grandpa move from one retirement home to another - I was taking pictures of how he had things set up in the first place, and he got in the picture. So cute!
Husband and I at the Rodeo. We love it!
Sister and her good friend Anna at the Rodeo. Anna said she felt like she was back in Texas. :)
I took Grandpa for a stroll around Bear Lake in Estes Park while the rest of the family went on a hike. He was moving pretty well!
Husband and I by the river on our way to the restaurant in Estes Park.
My dad is so awesome - he always takes care of Grandpa.
Grandpa's 96th birthday dinner: The men: Grandpa, Husband, and Dad.
Mom and her dad for Grandpa's 96th birthday.
Sister and I at Grandpa's birthday dinner.
More to come as I get the rest of the pictures from Husband and Sister's cameras, too.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Musing on a Friday Morning
It's Friday, my 2nd official day of summer break. And where am I? In my classroom. I just need to get a few more things organized and put away so I feel better about walking away for the rest of the summer. And so that, when I come back, my to-do list isn't quite as long. This year my classroom just sort of .... exploded. I never put things in their rightful place when I finished with them, or if I did, I just shoved in the correct cabinet or drawer. The end result, of course, is a big mess. I'm determined to finish putting it all away nicely today, though, and then next year I hope I'll do better from the beginning. It's just another one of those things that I know would make my life easier, better, happier.... yet I don't do.
I think I'm a bit of a committment-phobe. (Funny to say since I've been in the same job for 7 years, married for nearly 3, and dating/married to Husband for nearly 6.)
I have trouble committing to things that I know would be good for me. Maybe I'm not a committment-phobe. Maybe I'm just lazy and undisciplined. Either way, I have to got to figure this stuff out!! Exercise regulary, Beth, you feel better when you do. Don't eat that breadstick, Beth, you're full already. Don't eat two more breadsticks, even if they are the best thing you've ever baked. Umm... don't bake them in the first place, if you've already had a full dinner. Pay the bills on time, Beth, it makes you less stressed. Don't spend money on unnecessary things during the month, Beth, because when the credit card bill comes, you freak out. Put stuff away right away, Beth, because things won't get so out of control if you do. Do small cleaning things every night, Beth, and then you won't have to deep clean the filth, because it won't have piled up. And so on it goes.
Is there a magical age of adulthood that comes with just being able to do these things without thinking? I would like that to be now. I'm pretty sure I've written things like this before on my blog, and Husband and I have had this conversation about, oh, ten times in the last year, at least......
Hence, either I'm a committment-phobe, or, more likely, undisciplined and can't figure out how to get disciplined.
New topic. Babies. I kind of want one. About a year and a half ago, a friend put the idea of me having babies in my head, whether she meant to or not. I thought it about for a long time, counting "if I were pregnant now, when would I have a baby?" and figuring out what was convenient or not (ha, I know, that's silly). I wasn't ready for a baby, nor did I really want one, but the thought was brewing. A year ago a different friend was visiting me and the topic came up again. She bought me a pregnancy magazine. It still sits untouched in a basket on my dresser.... I was NOT ready to read it, nor to think about it. I wasn't convinced. In a August we stopped using any type of birth control, but we didn't really try to conceive, if you know what I mean. I've already mentioned, I have issues in that department. Still working on them. And if you're not trying... umm.... regularly, well, then, no babies. But the thought has brewed and percolated and steeped (oh, I love coffee and tea) and a couple of months ago I decided. I was ready, whatever that means. I could officially say I want a baby. Of course, then it was the end of the year and I was busy and tired and never even home, on top of my issues, so.... trying has been limited. But the desire and thought of having a baby is on my mind a lot. A lot.
An old friend of mine is having a baby this summer. Another close friend just found out she's pregnant and, while extremely excited for her, I was also a bit jealous. We are the only people in our small group without kids, and two of the couples have had babies in the last year. I want a turn!
Except I don't want to be pregnant. I already feel yucky and out of shape and a little chubby, and I don't want to be pregnant. I don't think I'll be a cute pregnant woman. So I wish I could avoid that part.
But last night I was watching a show that made me think of my grandma, and as I was crying, I thought, I really need to have kids so that they can have as much time with their grandparents as possible - because my life would not even have been remotely as amazing without my grandma and grandpa around and contributing.... and I know my parents are going to make wonderful grandparents. And I just want a baby, anyway.
Although it scares the crap out of me, too. I should probably read that magazine.
And seriously, if I can't get all that other stuff together, how could I possibly take care of another human being? Am I an insane person?
Possibly.
And I really need to stop rambling now and get back to cleaning my classroom so I can leave school until August. Hopefully.
I think I'm a bit of a committment-phobe. (Funny to say since I've been in the same job for 7 years, married for nearly 3, and dating/married to Husband for nearly 6.)
I have trouble committing to things that I know would be good for me. Maybe I'm not a committment-phobe. Maybe I'm just lazy and undisciplined. Either way, I have to got to figure this stuff out!! Exercise regulary, Beth, you feel better when you do. Don't eat that breadstick, Beth, you're full already. Don't eat two more breadsticks, even if they are the best thing you've ever baked. Umm... don't bake them in the first place, if you've already had a full dinner. Pay the bills on time, Beth, it makes you less stressed. Don't spend money on unnecessary things during the month, Beth, because when the credit card bill comes, you freak out. Put stuff away right away, Beth, because things won't get so out of control if you do. Do small cleaning things every night, Beth, and then you won't have to deep clean the filth, because it won't have piled up. And so on it goes.
Is there a magical age of adulthood that comes with just being able to do these things without thinking? I would like that to be now. I'm pretty sure I've written things like this before on my blog, and Husband and I have had this conversation about, oh, ten times in the last year, at least......
Hence, either I'm a committment-phobe, or, more likely, undisciplined and can't figure out how to get disciplined.
New topic. Babies. I kind of want one. About a year and a half ago, a friend put the idea of me having babies in my head, whether she meant to or not. I thought it about for a long time, counting "if I were pregnant now, when would I have a baby?" and figuring out what was convenient or not (ha, I know, that's silly). I wasn't ready for a baby, nor did I really want one, but the thought was brewing. A year ago a different friend was visiting me and the topic came up again. She bought me a pregnancy magazine. It still sits untouched in a basket on my dresser.... I was NOT ready to read it, nor to think about it. I wasn't convinced. In a August we stopped using any type of birth control, but we didn't really try to conceive, if you know what I mean. I've already mentioned, I have issues in that department. Still working on them. And if you're not trying... umm.... regularly, well, then, no babies. But the thought has brewed and percolated and steeped (oh, I love coffee and tea) and a couple of months ago I decided. I was ready, whatever that means. I could officially say I want a baby. Of course, then it was the end of the year and I was busy and tired and never even home, on top of my issues, so.... trying has been limited. But the desire and thought of having a baby is on my mind a lot. A lot.
An old friend of mine is having a baby this summer. Another close friend just found out she's pregnant and, while extremely excited for her, I was also a bit jealous. We are the only people in our small group without kids, and two of the couples have had babies in the last year. I want a turn!
Except I don't want to be pregnant. I already feel yucky and out of shape and a little chubby, and I don't want to be pregnant. I don't think I'll be a cute pregnant woman. So I wish I could avoid that part.
But last night I was watching a show that made me think of my grandma, and as I was crying, I thought, I really need to have kids so that they can have as much time with their grandparents as possible - because my life would not even have been remotely as amazing without my grandma and grandpa around and contributing.... and I know my parents are going to make wonderful grandparents. And I just want a baby, anyway.
Although it scares the crap out of me, too. I should probably read that magazine.
And seriously, if I can't get all that other stuff together, how could I possibly take care of another human being? Am I an insane person?
Possibly.
And I really need to stop rambling now and get back to cleaning my classroom so I can leave school until August. Hopefully.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Back in the Saddle
(Editor's Note: I wrote this post on Monday, but because I needed to wait to for my husband to bring the camera home, am not posting it until Tuesday. Any references to "today" are from Monday.)
Do you know that I have ridden horses for nearly 15 years, and I have never actually fallen off of one?
Granted, the consistency of me riding in the last three years has been.... well, let's be honest. I haven't ridden more than twice in the last three years. (That's not totally my fault. The first year, I didn't have a car, so I couldn't get out to where my horse was being boarded. The second year we'd moved him to my parent's house and built him a loafing shed, and I did ride him a couple of times, but then he got an abscess in his hoof and had about half of the hoof removed. (That's like taking off your fingernail, not your finger, just in case you didn't know.) So he had to heal from that. And then last year, right around this time of year, he impaled himself on a t-post and nearly died. That recovery was quite long; hence, no riding for me.
I completely digress from my original point. The expression back in the saddle clearly comes from the idea that if you've fallen off a horse, you have to get back on again and push through whatever fear is keeping you from riding again. I've never fallen from a horse, so I don't I can fully understand the true intent of those words, although having watched my sister essentially stop riding due to an incredibly scary situation, I sort of get it.
That story will have to come at a later point, because this post isn't supposed to be about horses or riding or anything equestrian related. I just titled the post Back in the Saddle and then was off on a tangent, and decided to write it. Well, journeying with me as I process never promised to be logical.
Anyway, I feel like I have the opporutnity to be back in the saddle of a lot of things in my life. School is winding down and, while I have a busy summer ahead, the pace is different.
I have just two classes of finals left to grade - one on paper, one online. I'm going to do them tomorrow. Then I have to spend some time getting my classroom ready for next year, and I'm done. Officially our last day is Wednesday, but I may go in for a few hours on Thursday and/or Friday just to make sure I'm organized. It's been a long year. I'm excited for a change of pace.
On Saturday I went to the Home Depot at 8:15 in the morning to avoid the rush and bought a lot of flowers and plants. I suspect I normally spend $100 on flowers to pot to make the front of my townhouse look pretty (and to make me happy) - but this weekend I went way overboard, due to the fact that I was on a mission - I wanted to plant some perennials in our front yard, build a mini garden bed retaining wall, and add some mulch. I picked up the pesky rocks that were half filling the space and through them into my window wells, which needed something in them anyway. (I'd already spent hours on a previous weekend cleaning and sorting some rocks and filling this awkward weird gap between my neighbor's sidewalk and mine.)
I potted 15 medium and small pots of flowers and 3 large ones. I dug up the soil in the yard and mixed it in with some garden soil. I planted 7 new plants in the yard. The only thing Husband helped with was the brick (which, as you can see, we need a couple more layers of to make a retaining wall) and the mulch.
I just love it... it's like a whole new yard. And never mind the dead grass, because the flowers and plants make it pretty anyway. (Although we are going to re-sod the dead parts and put in some new sod up to the retaining wall.)
Oh, and doing that, I forgot about sunscreen (rookie mistake). This is me two days later, although I couldn't really get a great picture. You'll have to imagine what it looked like originally. In my defense, it's my first real time outside this year, so I had no base coat at all.
And I've cleaned my main floor and the master bedroom thoroughly, and tidied up the basement areas and bedroom (my mother-in-law was here for the weekend). I'd bought a white quilt and some throw pillows for our bedroom to give our room a fresh, summery feel, but I didn't allow myself to set up the bed until our room was clean clean clean.
So I'm back in the saddle of living in a liveable, even peaceful, pretty house.
This morning I got up and went for a run. I haven't been on a run in a really long time. It's been at least a month since I went to the gym, and probably two or three months (or four?) since I ran outside. It was super windy, but the sun was shining warmly and I pushed myself, but not too much. It felt delicious. I'm going grocery shopping today, and we've cooked at home the last two nights.
Yes, I'm back in the saddle of being healthy, and feeling good about myself.
After I got back from my run, I poured myself a cup of coffee (which had been brewing while I ran), added a dash of cream, sugar, and cinnamon, and took the dog to sit on the front steps, which, in the morning, are bathed in sunshine. There, amidst all my beautiful flowers, I drank my coffee, basking in the tranquility, and listening to this song, which always gets my heart tuned into the right place. Always. It's been a while since I've heard it, so I played it twice. Starting at about 4:45 is the best, in case you don't want to listen to the whole thing. And I just felt calm, and inspired, and ready to keep going.
I went to church yesterday with my mom and MIL at a different church than my own, and the pastor asked this question: Are you in the same place spiritually as you were last month? Six months ago? Last year? Well, I know that if I were to answer that honestly, I haven't grown at all in the last month or so. Remember there was that season of incredible revelation and growth earlier this year? I started to live on the leftovers of that, much like a car running on the fumes of gasoline that used to fill the tank. I caught myself, jumped back in, but, as any teacher knows, barely survived the end of the year, and stopped reading, journaling, and reflecting. But that season is finished.
And I'm back in the saddle of spending time with the One.
I hope that if I ever do fall off of a horse, I will not hestitate to jump right back on, because if life teaches me anything, it is that it is always better when you push through, allow the One to help you conquer your fear, and keep going. Put that foot in the stirrup, swing your leg over, and keep riding.
Re-set, and press On.
Do you know that I have ridden horses for nearly 15 years, and I have never actually fallen off of one?
Granted, the consistency of me riding in the last three years has been.... well, let's be honest. I haven't ridden more than twice in the last three years. (That's not totally my fault. The first year, I didn't have a car, so I couldn't get out to where my horse was being boarded. The second year we'd moved him to my parent's house and built him a loafing shed, and I did ride him a couple of times, but then he got an abscess in his hoof and had about half of the hoof removed. (That's like taking off your fingernail, not your finger, just in case you didn't know.) So he had to heal from that. And then last year, right around this time of year, he impaled himself on a t-post and nearly died. That recovery was quite long; hence, no riding for me.
I completely digress from my original point. The expression back in the saddle clearly comes from the idea that if you've fallen off a horse, you have to get back on again and push through whatever fear is keeping you from riding again. I've never fallen from a horse, so I don't I can fully understand the true intent of those words, although having watched my sister essentially stop riding due to an incredibly scary situation, I sort of get it.
That story will have to come at a later point, because this post isn't supposed to be about horses or riding or anything equestrian related. I just titled the post Back in the Saddle and then was off on a tangent, and decided to write it. Well, journeying with me as I process never promised to be logical.
Anyway, I feel like I have the opporutnity to be back in the saddle of a lot of things in my life. School is winding down and, while I have a busy summer ahead, the pace is different.
I have just two classes of finals left to grade - one on paper, one online. I'm going to do them tomorrow. Then I have to spend some time getting my classroom ready for next year, and I'm done. Officially our last day is Wednesday, but I may go in for a few hours on Thursday and/or Friday just to make sure I'm organized. It's been a long year. I'm excited for a change of pace.
On Saturday I went to the Home Depot at 8:15 in the morning to avoid the rush and bought a lot of flowers and plants. I suspect I normally spend $100 on flowers to pot to make the front of my townhouse look pretty (and to make me happy) - but this weekend I went way overboard, due to the fact that I was on a mission - I wanted to plant some perennials in our front yard, build a mini garden bed retaining wall, and add some mulch. I picked up the pesky rocks that were half filling the space and through them into my window wells, which needed something in them anyway. (I'd already spent hours on a previous weekend cleaning and sorting some rocks and filling this awkward weird gap between my neighbor's sidewalk and mine.)
I potted 15 medium and small pots of flowers and 3 large ones. I dug up the soil in the yard and mixed it in with some garden soil. I planted 7 new plants in the yard. The only thing Husband helped with was the brick (which, as you can see, we need a couple more layers of to make a retaining wall) and the mulch.
I just love it... it's like a whole new yard. And never mind the dead grass, because the flowers and plants make it pretty anyway. (Although we are going to re-sod the dead parts and put in some new sod up to the retaining wall.)
Oh, and doing that, I forgot about sunscreen (rookie mistake). This is me two days later, although I couldn't really get a great picture. You'll have to imagine what it looked like originally. In my defense, it's my first real time outside this year, so I had no base coat at all.
So I'm back in the saddle of living in a liveable, even peaceful, pretty house.
This morning I got up and went for a run. I haven't been on a run in a really long time. It's been at least a month since I went to the gym, and probably two or three months (or four?) since I ran outside. It was super windy, but the sun was shining warmly and I pushed myself, but not too much. It felt delicious. I'm going grocery shopping today, and we've cooked at home the last two nights.
Yes, I'm back in the saddle of being healthy, and feeling good about myself.
After I got back from my run, I poured myself a cup of coffee (which had been brewing while I ran), added a dash of cream, sugar, and cinnamon, and took the dog to sit on the front steps, which, in the morning, are bathed in sunshine. There, amidst all my beautiful flowers, I drank my coffee, basking in the tranquility, and listening to this song, which always gets my heart tuned into the right place. Always. It's been a while since I've heard it, so I played it twice. Starting at about 4:45 is the best, in case you don't want to listen to the whole thing. And I just felt calm, and inspired, and ready to keep going.
I went to church yesterday with my mom and MIL at a different church than my own, and the pastor asked this question: Are you in the same place spiritually as you were last month? Six months ago? Last year? Well, I know that if I were to answer that honestly, I haven't grown at all in the last month or so. Remember there was that season of incredible revelation and growth earlier this year? I started to live on the leftovers of that, much like a car running on the fumes of gasoline that used to fill the tank. I caught myself, jumped back in, but, as any teacher knows, barely survived the end of the year, and stopped reading, journaling, and reflecting. But that season is finished.
And I'm back in the saddle of spending time with the One.
I hope that if I ever do fall off of a horse, I will not hestitate to jump right back on, because if life teaches me anything, it is that it is always better when you push through, allow the One to help you conquer your fear, and keep going. Put that foot in the stirrup, swing your leg over, and keep riding.
Re-set, and press On.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Almost there
Oh Summer, come soon.
I'm almost there. One more week with students and then another week of sorting, organizing, cleaning in the classroom, and then D.O.N.E.
The majority of the stressful to-do list is done, and I'm on to the final bits and pieces of things that, whether I get them done or not, will be over in about a week. I'm down to grading the last odds and ends of missing work, editing, administering, and grading final exams and projects, and a few meetings.
Summer is going to be full...... today I was telling Husband I am even a little stressed about it, because somehow, yet again, it will be jam packed full of things to do. Still, I can't wait for it. I was going through Facebook pictures to today (because I needed a break from creating my online final) and thinking of all the fun things that I get to to do.
BUT. I think I've got a plan of attack for the summer, with some much needed me time spaced into the busyness. Some of those busy things include VBX at church, a Nebraska wedding, StuCo Camp, visiting my BFF at her new place in Arizona, and more. I think we even are working it out that Husband will get to go to San Fran and visit his BFF from high school, who was the best man at our wedding. It's about time he get to do something fun.
Speaking of Husband, what I MOST want to do is spend time with him this summer. I want to cook yummy good meals for him, play outside, work outside (finish that back"yard"), go to fun things with him, and more. He's really, truly, seriously, the best, and I'm having a little Hubby withdrawl from the last two weeks (I was never home. Ever.) We have seen each other a lot more this weekend, in the company of our sisters, so that's been fun, but I want some time with him where I'm not always thinking about the next thing I have to do (which is all I do these days).
Bring on the summer.
I'm almost there. One more week with students and then another week of sorting, organizing, cleaning in the classroom, and then D.O.N.E.
The majority of the stressful to-do list is done, and I'm on to the final bits and pieces of things that, whether I get them done or not, will be over in about a week. I'm down to grading the last odds and ends of missing work, editing, administering, and grading final exams and projects, and a few meetings.
Summer is going to be full...... today I was telling Husband I am even a little stressed about it, because somehow, yet again, it will be jam packed full of things to do. Still, I can't wait for it. I was going through Facebook pictures to today (because I needed a break from creating my online final) and thinking of all the fun things that I get to to do.
BUT. I think I've got a plan of attack for the summer, with some much needed me time spaced into the busyness. Some of those busy things include VBX at church, a Nebraska wedding, StuCo Camp, visiting my BFF at her new place in Arizona, and more. I think we even are working it out that Husband will get to go to San Fran and visit his BFF from high school, who was the best man at our wedding. It's about time he get to do something fun.
Bring on the summer.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
End of Year Madness
A five minute post on where I've been and where I'm going:
1. We're in the last three weeks of school. Seniors finish this Friday (yes, Friday the 13th, how fitting) and everyone else finishes the 27th. With Seniors done this week, I have to get all their grades entered asap. Underclassmen need to know what they are missing so they can scramble to get their grades up. I've been doing a lot of grading.
2. StuCo is wrapping up, but that doesn't mean it's slowing down. We threw a big evening of fun last Friday, had an end of year senior evening called Senior Sunrise, have a dance for incoming 9th graders, an assembly, a end of year shin dig, and Induction. Not to mention having to attend Senior awards night, which lasts three hours usually.
3. I have to go to at least 3 graduations, if not 4. My sister's college graduation, my school's graduation, and one or two graduations of the girls I have been mentoring. Oh, and that's all within two days.
4. I have to finish teaching. And finish online teaching. And create, give, and grade final exams.
Wanna brief glimpse at my calendar as of late? I'll only go back to last Friday.
Friday the 6th: Spring Fling event at school, 6 - 10 pm (home at 11)
Monday the 9th: State StuCo Camp Meeting in Denver at 3 pm, Senior Sunset at school 7 - 8:30 pm (home at 9, after having left the house at 6:30 am)
Tuesday the 10th: Choir Concert at school, 7 - 9 pm
Wednesday the 11th: Sister-in-law's birthday dinner
Thursday the 12th: Senior Awards night at school, 6:30 - 9:30 ish.
Friday the 13th: Assembly during school, hosting the 8th grade passage dance from 4 - 6 pm, Church Small group from 6:30 - whenever.
Saturday the 14th: StuCo End of Year Farewell Retreat, 9 - 4 pm at my parents', but I have to shop before and clean up after.
Monday the 16th: StuCo Induction, 5 - 8:30 ish at school, including set up and clean up.
Tuesday the 17th: Choir Concert at my mom's school, 7 - 9 pm.
Thursday the 19th: My school's graduation
Friday the 20th: My sister's college graduation at 10 am, and my mentee's high school graduation at 6 pm.
Saturday the 21st: U2 Concert.
Monday - Friday the 23rd - 27th: Finals Week
Friday the 27th: My other mentee's graduation and a friend's wedding, at the same time. Husband is going to the wedding, me to the graduation. I'll try to make it to the reception.
I kind of feel like this......Do you blame me?
I'm thinking Husband and I need a romantic night away after all of this.
But please note - I love almost everything about my job. It's just that this time of the year is INSANE. Someone asked me recently if things were winding down. Ha. They speed up and then come to a screeching halt. But I love it, I really do - at least, the part with the kids. The grading and planning I could use a break from. :)
1. We're in the last three weeks of school. Seniors finish this Friday (yes, Friday the 13th, how fitting) and everyone else finishes the 27th. With Seniors done this week, I have to get all their grades entered asap. Underclassmen need to know what they are missing so they can scramble to get their grades up. I've been doing a lot of grading.
2. StuCo is wrapping up, but that doesn't mean it's slowing down. We threw a big evening of fun last Friday, had an end of year senior evening called Senior Sunrise, have a dance for incoming 9th graders, an assembly, a end of year shin dig, and Induction. Not to mention having to attend Senior awards night, which lasts three hours usually.
3. I have to go to at least 3 graduations, if not 4. My sister's college graduation, my school's graduation, and one or two graduations of the girls I have been mentoring. Oh, and that's all within two days.
4. I have to finish teaching. And finish online teaching. And create, give, and grade final exams.
Wanna brief glimpse at my calendar as of late? I'll only go back to last Friday.
Friday the 6th: Spring Fling event at school, 6 - 10 pm (home at 11)
Monday the 9th: State StuCo Camp Meeting in Denver at 3 pm, Senior Sunset at school 7 - 8:30 pm (home at 9, after having left the house at 6:30 am)
Tuesday the 10th: Choir Concert at school, 7 - 9 pm
Wednesday the 11th: Sister-in-law's birthday dinner
Thursday the 12th: Senior Awards night at school, 6:30 - 9:30 ish.
Friday the 13th: Assembly during school, hosting the 8th grade passage dance from 4 - 6 pm, Church Small group from 6:30 - whenever.
Saturday the 14th: StuCo End of Year Farewell Retreat, 9 - 4 pm at my parents', but I have to shop before and clean up after.
Monday the 16th: StuCo Induction, 5 - 8:30 ish at school, including set up and clean up.
Tuesday the 17th: Choir Concert at my mom's school, 7 - 9 pm.
Thursday the 19th: My school's graduation
Friday the 20th: My sister's college graduation at 10 am, and my mentee's high school graduation at 6 pm.
Saturday the 21st: U2 Concert.
Monday - Friday the 23rd - 27th: Finals Week
Friday the 27th: My other mentee's graduation and a friend's wedding, at the same time. Husband is going to the wedding, me to the graduation. I'll try to make it to the reception.
I kind of feel like this......Do you blame me?
I'm thinking Husband and I need a romantic night away after all of this.
But please note - I love almost everything about my job. It's just that this time of the year is INSANE. Someone asked me recently if things were winding down. Ha. They speed up and then come to a screeching halt. But I love it, I really do - at least, the part with the kids. The grading and planning I could use a break from. :)
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Freedom
Freedom, I realized, is a word I've been hearing and thinking a lot about lately, but hadn't really spent any time connecting the pieces. Freedom is something we long for, we cling to. Moments like this one (albeit a movie) speak to the core of our souls, because we long to be free.
Ah... a moment. We had a similar one at our school for Veteran's day this year, when a local Vietnam vet spoke to our students, sharing his reflections and how, when he came home, he was spit on, and mocked, and made fun of.... but that what he cared most about, was this one thing- he stepped away from the podium, away from the microphone, flung his arms wide, shouted Freedom! And we all were moved.
Freedom is a powerful concept.
A few weeks ago I had the chance to share a short testimony at an evening for high school girls at church called, appropriately, Freedom Night. There was worship, testimonies, a question panel, and a time of reflection, and a couple of beautiful ballet pieces to, mostly, Barlow Girl songs. Topics included self-image, relationships, sexuality, and more. It was intense, and so powerful. I was asked to give a brief testimony (like 5 minutes) on self-image and my freedom from my struggles. I was so freaked out about the whole time limit thing (I'm a talker), and there were so many components to my story, that I finally, about 30 minutes before I was supposed to arrive at the church, jotted down my thoughts, which, as I wrote, realized, although not necessarily a narrative, were my story. A friend asked me to share those words on my blog, so here they are.
Insecurity. Meaning I don't feel safe in my own skin. Self image tied to self worth. The video (referring to the Dove Evolution Video) says we have a distorted image of beauty. I knew that, but didn't believe it. Skinny people always taling about the tragedy of eating disorders. Be quiet, skinny people. I wasn't skinny, but I wasn't fat. I wasn't ugly, but I wasn't beautiful. What was my worth? Always comparing myself to others, measuring myself. I look better than her.. oh, but not as good as her. I'm skinner than her... yuck, but fatter than her.
All of these thoughts show some of my disordered thinmking, which lead to disordered behavior. Should I eat today, after all I ate already? Never good enough. A perpetual obession. No control.
Freedom.
I was made by The God who made the goregous mountains, the intricate beauty of flowers, the shimmery diamonds of the sea. I am always in awe of his perfection. He created ALL beautiful things.
And he created ME.
And more. He LOVES me.
He who has all things in his hands
Loves
Me.
My big smile, my oversized my ribcage, my blueeyes, my doughy stomach.
And if I am measuring myself by any other standar, if my worth is coming from anything, it ought to be that.
That I am loved and I was made THIS way, with THIS body and face, by THE ONE.
It doesn't mean sometimes I don't still compar myself, or that I don't have days I feel fat, or days where I forget, and put myself down because of how I look.
But then I remember.
If I let my identity, my worth, be based in anything else, I will me miserable. I must make a choice, a daily choice, to remember.
I am NOT defined by the world's image of beauty, because I am FREE from those expectations.
I was made by a Master Artist, THE Master Artist of ALL things beautiful.
And He Loves Me.
So I am Beautiful.
And I am Free.
There's more to my thoughts on freedom. This morning I was praying for several people and the need for their freedom kept coming to my heart. We are held captive, the scripture says, and HE came to set us FREE.
"Fight, and you may die. Run, and you may live. At least a while." What kind of life is it when we are captives? Freedom does not come easily, I think. It requires persistence, dedication, perseverance, heartbreak, sweat, and tears.
Yet we crave it. We need it. And He offers it.
I claim that word today. May you also.
Ah... a moment. We had a similar one at our school for Veteran's day this year, when a local Vietnam vet spoke to our students, sharing his reflections and how, when he came home, he was spit on, and mocked, and made fun of.... but that what he cared most about, was this one thing- he stepped away from the podium, away from the microphone, flung his arms wide, shouted Freedom! And we all were moved.
Freedom is a powerful concept.
A few weeks ago I had the chance to share a short testimony at an evening for high school girls at church called, appropriately, Freedom Night. There was worship, testimonies, a question panel, and a time of reflection, and a couple of beautiful ballet pieces to, mostly, Barlow Girl songs. Topics included self-image, relationships, sexuality, and more. It was intense, and so powerful. I was asked to give a brief testimony (like 5 minutes) on self-image and my freedom from my struggles. I was so freaked out about the whole time limit thing (I'm a talker), and there were so many components to my story, that I finally, about 30 minutes before I was supposed to arrive at the church, jotted down my thoughts, which, as I wrote, realized, although not necessarily a narrative, were my story. A friend asked me to share those words on my blog, so here they are.
Insecurity. Meaning I don't feel safe in my own skin. Self image tied to self worth. The video (referring to the Dove Evolution Video) says we have a distorted image of beauty. I knew that, but didn't believe it. Skinny people always taling about the tragedy of eating disorders. Be quiet, skinny people. I wasn't skinny, but I wasn't fat. I wasn't ugly, but I wasn't beautiful. What was my worth? Always comparing myself to others, measuring myself. I look better than her.. oh, but not as good as her. I'm skinner than her... yuck, but fatter than her.
All of these thoughts show some of my disordered thinmking, which lead to disordered behavior. Should I eat today, after all I ate already? Never good enough. A perpetual obession. No control.
Freedom.
I was made by The God who made the goregous mountains, the intricate beauty of flowers, the shimmery diamonds of the sea. I am always in awe of his perfection. He created ALL beautiful things.
And he created ME.
And more. He LOVES me.
He who has all things in his hands
Loves
Me.
My big smile, my oversized my ribcage, my blueeyes, my doughy stomach.
And if I am measuring myself by any other standar, if my worth is coming from anything, it ought to be that.
That I am loved and I was made THIS way, with THIS body and face, by THE ONE.
It doesn't mean sometimes I don't still compar myself, or that I don't have days I feel fat, or days where I forget, and put myself down because of how I look.
But then I remember.
If I let my identity, my worth, be based in anything else, I will me miserable. I must make a choice, a daily choice, to remember.
I am NOT defined by the world's image of beauty, because I am FREE from those expectations.
I was made by a Master Artist, THE Master Artist of ALL things beautiful.
And He Loves Me.
So I am Beautiful.
And I am Free.
There's more to my thoughts on freedom. This morning I was praying for several people and the need for their freedom kept coming to my heart. We are held captive, the scripture says, and HE came to set us FREE.
"Fight, and you may die. Run, and you may live. At least a while." What kind of life is it when we are captives? Freedom does not come easily, I think. It requires persistence, dedication, perseverance, heartbreak, sweat, and tears.
Yet we crave it. We need it. And He offers it.
I claim that word today. May you also.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Mondays
You know the expression, "A Case of the Mondays"?
Poor Mondays. They have earned such a bad reputation over the years, purported to be the worst day of the week, the day work resumes, where fun ends. Nobody seems to like Mondays.
Yet, are they really any worse than any other day? Sure, we like Wednesdays, because they are the "halfway" point of the work week... but if we're honest, we know that we still have two more days of work to come. And Thursdays? Just awful, because they feel like Fridays, but aren't. Sunday? The day before the dreaded day. How many Sundays have lost their sparkle because someone thought, "man, I have to go back to work tomorrow"? Even Saturdays, the best day, can be a challenge as we rush to do all the things we couldn't get done during the work week.
What did Monday do, though, to deserve such a reputation?
Do we truly hate our jobs that much? What a sad commentary on our society that our careers are viewed as the worst part of the week, particularly since we Americans spend a heck of a lot of time working. In most of the Hispanic cultures, people work to live, not live to work, yet still manage to work with the spirit of "the fiesta" in their hearts.
I am busy. (You know that.) I don't like how busy I am, and I bit off more than I could figuratively chew this year, so I manage, but live a life in a state of perpetually behind. And it's not my favorite. I pretty much hate creating online curriculum every weekend, and look forward to the day (in a month!) when I am done with that. I won't do it again next year, even if it means a paycut. Grading piles up. Meetings seem to take forever.
But I love my job, you know? Because every day I get to hang out with some of tWhe coolest people in the world, I think. These kids are the face of the future. They are our next doctors, lawyers, presidents, politicians, heros, visionaries. When given the chance to show who they are, they shine, and when given the chance to get out of the boxes we stick them in, they reveal that they care about others and the world. Right now they want to be anything and everything, and they don't think about their future Mondays as they day they have to go back to their dreaded job. They want their jobs to be something they LOVE.
Why have we lost that? Even if our job is something that just pays the bills, it probably involves other people, and when there are people around, there is always worth, and joy can always be found.
To Mondays, a great day, I think.
May we choose to pursue our endeavours today with joy, with passion, with zeal. Let's not create another generation who thinks "a case of the Mondays" is a bad thing. Instead, let's change that expression to mean that someone is excited to do what they are doing, that they are doing it with passion, and that they are inspiring others to do the same.
Oh, and to be truthful, what Monday isn't better when it's actually daylight when I leave the house? What a joy it was to walk out my front door at 6:20, expecting darkness, and being greeted with light? Oh, how I love Spring and Summer.
Poor Mondays. They have earned such a bad reputation over the years, purported to be the worst day of the week, the day work resumes, where fun ends. Nobody seems to like Mondays.
Yet, are they really any worse than any other day? Sure, we like Wednesdays, because they are the "halfway" point of the work week... but if we're honest, we know that we still have two more days of work to come. And Thursdays? Just awful, because they feel like Fridays, but aren't. Sunday? The day before the dreaded day. How many Sundays have lost their sparkle because someone thought, "man, I have to go back to work tomorrow"? Even Saturdays, the best day, can be a challenge as we rush to do all the things we couldn't get done during the work week.
What did Monday do, though, to deserve such a reputation?
Do we truly hate our jobs that much? What a sad commentary on our society that our careers are viewed as the worst part of the week, particularly since we Americans spend a heck of a lot of time working. In most of the Hispanic cultures, people work to live, not live to work, yet still manage to work with the spirit of "the fiesta" in their hearts.
I am busy. (You know that.) I don't like how busy I am, and I bit off more than I could figuratively chew this year, so I manage, but live a life in a state of perpetually behind. And it's not my favorite. I pretty much hate creating online curriculum every weekend, and look forward to the day (in a month!) when I am done with that. I won't do it again next year, even if it means a paycut. Grading piles up. Meetings seem to take forever.
But I love my job, you know? Because every day I get to hang out with some of tWhe coolest people in the world, I think. These kids are the face of the future. They are our next doctors, lawyers, presidents, politicians, heros, visionaries. When given the chance to show who they are, they shine, and when given the chance to get out of the boxes we stick them in, they reveal that they care about others and the world. Right now they want to be anything and everything, and they don't think about their future Mondays as they day they have to go back to their dreaded job. They want their jobs to be something they LOVE.
Why have we lost that? Even if our job is something that just pays the bills, it probably involves other people, and when there are people around, there is always worth, and joy can always be found.
To Mondays, a great day, I think.
May we choose to pursue our endeavours today with joy, with passion, with zeal. Let's not create another generation who thinks "a case of the Mondays" is a bad thing. Instead, let's change that expression to mean that someone is excited to do what they are doing, that they are doing it with passion, and that they are inspiring others to do the same.
Oh, and to be truthful, what Monday isn't better when it's actually daylight when I leave the house? What a joy it was to walk out my front door at 6:20, expecting darkness, and being greeted with light? Oh, how I love Spring and Summer.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Faithful to the End
I've been listening to this song on repeat every time I get in the car and alternating between singing my heart out and just being enveloped in every chord, every note, every word.
In searching for a video with the song to show you, I came across this one of a young woman dancing to the song and was enthralled with another layer of depth.
Watch her passion. Or close your eyes and just listen. Or turn it up and dance yourself.
Glory to the Righteous One. HE is faithful to the end, He is faithul to my heart.
Song: Faithful to the End by Cory Asbury
In searching for a video with the song to show you, I came across this one of a young woman dancing to the song and was enthralled with another layer of depth.
Watch her passion. Or close your eyes and just listen. Or turn it up and dance yourself.
Glory to the Righteous One. HE is faithful to the end, He is faithul to my heart.
Song: Faithful to the End by Cory Asbury
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
He Is Faithful
Today looks a little like this.
Oh no, you think. The title, "He is Faithful"? Pictures of a rainy day? What's wrong?
Absolutely nothing. I LOVE rainy days.
They speak to me, to the very core of my being.
And as I was on my way to work this morning, as I listened to a CD that a friend gave me, one of those songs came on. You know, one of those songs, where the very chords and instrumentation seep into your heart and speak, where words are rendered nearly unnecessary. But when you do hear them, it's complete. You've been touched.
Yeah, one of those songs.
He is faithful, faithful to the end.
They sang.
I heard.
And like the drops of rain that fall, creating ripples that touch other ripples, I need to remind everyone.
He is faithful, right unto the very End.
(This is from the Plaza de España en Olviedo, Spain.... I haven't been to this particular plaza, but it reminds me of the church and plaza in the town I lived in.)
Oh no, you think. The title, "He is Faithful"? Pictures of a rainy day? What's wrong?
Absolutely nothing. I LOVE rainy days.
They speak to me, to the very core of my being.
And as I was on my way to work this morning, as I listened to a CD that a friend gave me, one of those songs came on. You know, one of those songs, where the very chords and instrumentation seep into your heart and speak, where words are rendered nearly unnecessary. But when you do hear them, it's complete. You've been touched.
Yeah, one of those songs.
He is faithful, faithful to the end.
They sang.
I heard.
And like the drops of rain that fall, creating ripples that touch other ripples, I need to remind everyone.
He is faithful, right unto the very End.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Little Ways #1: A Good Cup of Coffee
My quest into adulthood (now that I'm nearly 29, ha!) and living, as my friend Dawn calls it, the Good Life, includes searching for Little Ways to make every day feel like a day off.
(Haven't read about this yet? Go here to read why my blog is called Like a Day Off and here to read about the Little Ways series.)
Seriously, though, I love coffee. I don't need the caffeinne; I just love the flavor, the aroma, the goodness and happiness I feel when I sip it.
But a GOOD cup of coffee, one to make that moment feel like a day off, requires a couple of things, in my book:
1. It's temperature needs to be the opposite of the weather. If it's cold or even a little chilly, the coffee needs to be hot, warming you from the inside out. If it's warm or hot outdoors, then a refreshing iced coffee is in order. A GOOD cup of coffee is exactly what you need to feel warmer or cooler, as the case may be.
2. It needs to be enjoyed. A cup of coffee while getting for work is okay, and a cup while teaching is still lovely, but a GOOD cup of coffee needs to be savored. To be enjoyed while reading a book or having conversation with a friend or even, sometimes, just sitting and simply being.
A GOOD cup of coffee can make any moment feel like a day off. Too often we rush through our morning coffee or drink it while working, not even savoring the deliciousness it provides. This morning I had the chance to sit with my sister for about 15 minutes at Starbucks and chat and really enjoy a cup of coffee, even though it was short. And truthfully, it was wonderful.
What is your favorite coffee or beverage ritual? How do you use it to create a moment of space in your day?
Here's to the Little Ways!
If you've read me for a while now, you know that I love coffee. A good cup of coffee is referenced several times in many posts, not even including the couple of posts completed dedicated to the Gingerbread Latte, my favorite around the holidays.
But a GOOD cup of coffee, one to make that moment feel like a day off, requires a couple of things, in my book:
A GOOD cup of coffee can make any moment feel like a day off. Too often we rush through our morning coffee or drink it while working, not even savoring the deliciousness it provides. This morning I had the chance to sit with my sister for about 15 minutes at Starbucks and chat and really enjoy a cup of coffee, even though it was short. And truthfully, it was wonderful.
What is your favorite coffee or beverage ritual? How do you use it to create a moment of space in your day?
Here's to the Little Ways!
Friday, April 8, 2011
Five- Minute Friday
Okay, it's going to be a two-post day. I had already written my post on "What I'd Really Tell you Over Coffee" to link up with the Girls over at Home Sanctuary when I saw Lisa's Five-Minute Friday topic, "If You Met Me." I didn't think just linking to my long post would be fair, so I'm double-posting today.
You should read both. :)
If You Met Me.....
Go.
You would see that, while I'm not old, I'm starting to have crinkley-wrinkleys around my eyes and mouth, and that I like them, because they are from smiling. I love to laugh and smile and be happy, all of which happen from spending time with people.
You would find out how much I love teaching, and how I feel like it's my ministry, even though it's not "Ministry." If I could teach a class just about life, I would do it in a heartbeat. I love talking with students about their lives and learning with them the tools to live successfully (not the world's definition of success, by the way) and joyfully. That's why I teach leadership and life skills in Student Council and why I love pow-wows and tangents about the World and life in Spanish.
You would know that I love Husband, and that we are working on being our grown-up selves and learning from the One, and that we're excited about the growth and stretching He's having us do. And that we're going to start trying to have kids and that it's scary (see other post from today).
And you'd know that I'm busy, but that I hate the word busy, because it means almost nothing in today's society. And that I am working on trying to find balance and margin.
Stop.
That was fun. I'll have to remember 5-Minute Fridays from now on!
You should read both. :)
If You Met Me.....
Go.
You would see that, while I'm not old, I'm starting to have crinkley-wrinkleys around my eyes and mouth, and that I like them, because they are from smiling. I love to laugh and smile and be happy, all of which happen from spending time with people.
You would find out how much I love teaching, and how I feel like it's my ministry, even though it's not "Ministry." If I could teach a class just about life, I would do it in a heartbeat. I love talking with students about their lives and learning with them the tools to live successfully (not the world's definition of success, by the way) and joyfully. That's why I teach leadership and life skills in Student Council and why I love pow-wows and tangents about the World and life in Spanish.
You would know that I love Husband, and that we are working on being our grown-up selves and learning from the One, and that we're excited about the growth and stretching He's having us do. And that we're going to start trying to have kids and that it's scary (see other post from today).
And you'd know that I'm busy, but that I hate the word busy, because it means almost nothing in today's society. And that I am working on trying to find balance and margin.
Stop.
That was fun. I'll have to remember 5-Minute Fridays from now on!
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